How do you interpret that statement? Ooooooooo – don’t even make me come there! The title! I’m talking ‘bout the title of today’s blog. My interpretation of it is that family always matters. Quick, easy, surface assessment. It goes way deeper than that when you get into the crux of what family actually means. And there again, everybody has their own opinions, which hey…that’s how it’s meant to be. We’re meant to have our own opinions. We have brains. Our own. Which means, we own our brains. Shocker!
The reason I bring this up? The answer is simple. We cannot exist alone. It's unnatural and totally unfulfilling. We were never created to be loners and I, straight up, don't want to live a life where it’s just me, myself and Irene, my imaginary friend. See ‘cause when I’m alone in my room, sometimes I stare at the…ooooops. But LL Cool J was right, when I’m alone in my room, just like him, sometimes I do stare at the wall…or outside, or at my nails, trying to decide whether I should paint them black or not. It’s staring all the same, and when my conscience calls? I pick up. “’’Sup C….” You know, for Conscience. Yeahhhh. Thrilled for the company but anxious about what it’s gonna yell at me about this time!
If there's one thing that I can't stand about myself, it's being as gullible as I am at times. I came wayyyyyy too close to turning my back on the entire concept of family - the enjoyment, the forgiveness, the acceptance, the regardless love and all the rest that comes with having this very special group of people in my life, which by the way included long-time friends that have come to mean exactly what family does, in exchange for promises that never saw the light of day. Tsk tsk tsk! Shame is me!
Worst part is this. I was doing it just to fit in with and gain the approval of an entirely different set of people with which I had nothing in common with, except for that we need oxygen to breathe. Even as I sit here, I can hardly recognise the person typing this, when I think about who she was just a few months ago.
But that’s okay though, and do you know why? Because throughout the centuries, human’s have erred. If you listen to every single negative thing said to you or about you, let me tell you something. You will land up scraping your self-esteem off the same floor that you’re lying curled up into a ball on. Last I checked, I was an erring human too and I know for a fact that that will certainly not be the last error in judgement that I make. All that matters to me is that I recognize my mistakes and try my damnedest never to repeat them.
Just be who you are because I can tell you with all of the certainty that I can muster up. Not everyone will accept you, and just the same, not everyone won’t. It’s a totally different feeling being around anyone with whom you feel that kinda freedom of just, “this is me” as opposed to being around those where you feel the need to be paranoid. At the end of the day, it gets you nowhere. When Geese professed to the world just a short time back that our relationship was a reallllllly bad one for him and that he was so relieved for ultimately not making the mistake of marrying the wrong woman because of how totally opposite our personalities are? I admit, that hurt the eyeballs to read, firstly because I knew he was talking about me and seriously, which one of us honestly wants to be thought of as a wrong anything, despite the situation. But once I’d realized that he was dead on the money as far as all of it and that we'd inadvertently avoided a disaster? Peace prevailed, disappointment walked away and contentedness remained.
Far as the actual relationship? I don’t regret it. I’d be lying if I said we didn’t have good times. There are lots of things that I wouldn’t be doing right now, had I not met him and a lot things that my eyes were opened to, by him. Only, as far as who I was becoming because of it. That part, I do regret. Since then, I’ve managed to undo most of the damage I’ve done with regards to my other relationships with friends and family. Here’s something else that I have an opinion about. When a friend that you’ve once hurt can understand why you did what you did, forgive you and move forward as if none of it ever happened? That’s what family means.
And that, aside from it most importantly being my beloved mother’s birthday today, is another reason why I am here talking about the importance of family.
Plus!?!? Plus! It's our family reunion in a week! Whooooooooo-hoooooooooo!
I shudder.
You weren't expecting me to shudder after the whooooooo-hooooooo, were you? Well?!? I came to my senses! With this crazzzzzy family of mine? Anything is possible. All one needs to keep in mind is that it sure as hell will be memorable! That's the part I love the most about being a branch of this particular tree.
Look, every family has their ups and downs, right? In every family, there’s that one cousin who thirty years ago, decided to twerk! Yep! You read it right! I said twerk. Granted back then, it mighta been a nameless phenomenon but her description of it? Was twerking. My late uncle slapped her sohhh hard!!!! That in fear and shock, her curlers detached themselves from her hair. Haaaaaahahahahahahhahaha! Those things happen in all families. But guess what? She remembers that incident to this day yet on the day that my uncle passed, she was there, right along with the rest of us, sitting around him on his bed. That’s what family means! Not writing them off one by one until you’re only left with Irene!
That story, I just heard it today! And he slapped her that hard because one of HIS friends passed away and he didn't appreciate her having fun in my grans house with her other female cousins. As I listened, it became clear to me. The girl wasn't aware that she was meant to be mourning HIS friend’s death. What was clearer was that they didn't know he was anywhere near the house at the time! SURPRISSSSSSSSSSE!!!!!! Poor thing! That would shock the shit outa my curlers too!
So we spent the day at my mums yesterday, having a meeting about the reunion, looking at old pics, crying with laughter at stories like the one I just told you. Hey! I'm not sadistic. You try picturing someone getting smacked outa their curlers and tell me if you can keep from laughing! She was like, "I didn't know he was even watching from the window! I had my panty in my bum, there were only the female cousin’s there, so I was dancing and playing the fool! Next thing I know, he walks in, slaps me across the table so hard, my rollers went flying outa my hair! Did I get the shock of my life! No, you know why? They all got slapped by him before, it was my first time!" Lmaoooooo!!! I musta been a good child, 'cause I never once got slapped by my uncle happy hands. Ehhhhhhhhhhhhh, but then again, I'm ten years younger than they are. I was still cute and cuddly when he went on his slapping spree.
The last reunion we had? Damon was just a year old and someone gave him a sweet that caused him to test the concept of generosity, “If I try to swallow this whole, let’s see if I get another one!” He might still be given a sweet at this one. Just...hopefully he won't try to choke on it! I'd hate to have to jump up and down on his stomach wearing denim and white.
Back then too, Paige was still daring enough to get on a stage and dance a newly-learnt routine with the rest of her cousins. You shoulda seen them! Without a doubt, it'll snow in Durban the next time you see her do that, but I remain hopeful. You know. Mothers always do. I was also still married. My hair was shorter than some of the men there plus I wore lipstick. >_<! I don’t know who the heck that person was.
Just had a thought. Have you noticed how many times in my life I don’t recognize myself? Starting to sound like cause for concern…
This reunion? My life is nowhere near what I just described! I'm now divorced with hair down my back, opposed to lipstick! Two teenagers on either side of me. Older, and yes, wiser. A lot wiser. You know what I've learnt and I’m only telling you this out of the goodness of my heart. It’s important and you should really pay close attention. I've learnt that one should never not carry flats to a high-heeled event. You're just asking for trouble. This smile of mine fades pretty rapidly when I come to find out that the event I've been invited to, is a heel-wearing one! Aaaaaaaargh! These feet were made for sneakers and I see absolutely nothing wrong with wearing a nice Chuck with a tailored suit.
Wellllllllllll?
Apparently, there is.
If you're a lady.
Hmmmmmmpf!
Sometimes, vagina's sure do work against you. :-/ SMDH!
