Saw this on Facebook today and
ofcourse, I had to speak my piece. And my
piece was, “Be that as it may but I seriously don't believe that anybody
would PREFER to be single. How being single is handled emotionally from a
personal standpoint is one thing but there's nothing that will convince me that
anybody would RATHER be single over having someone to come home to, laugh with,
someone to share your day and night and thoughts and fears and love with.”
I have a problem
these days with women or men who say one thing but feel another. That’s only because I used to do the same
thing and it didn’t get me anywhere. It
caused more shit both inside and out than lying about my feelings would ever be
worth because saying something and feeling the opposite, didn’t change the way
that I felt. It didn’t let the other
person know how I felt. It didn’t make
me feel lighter. It didn’t make me
appear honest. Putting on a brave face
when you don’t feel very brave, saying that you’re okay when you don’t feel
okay does you more of a disservice than anything else so I’m not going to sit
here and pretend that being single means to me, what it doesn’t.
I do believe
that one should always try to reach a place where they are enough, to
themselves and for themselves, so that when single-hood ever comes around, it doesn’t leave you depressed and isolated, feeling as if
you’re a failure. Reaching that place does
take work. A whole lot of work. What I don’t believe is that loneliness
should kick your ass out the door demanding the likes of, “Come back with somebody…anybody!
Just don’t come back alone!” An anybody,
can leave you feeling single while you’re in a relationship. So then, what good is that?
Me? I would choose to have someone to kick it
with, chill with, laugh with, love with, cry with...any day! Over being single. Whatever is described in this quote as part
of the joys of being single? Did the
person who came up with this really feel this way? Maybe.
Maybe they’ve never really loved because when you have THAT to compare
being single to, then one wouldn’t talk about being single as a joyful anything. Unless, it was simply to send out a message to whomever
they just broke up with. Sorry.
Being able to do
what you want and all of this other bullshit that this quote talks about? That’s a joy, huh? To be able to do what you want but share it with nobody. >_<!
It’s a joy? As opposed to being part
of a loving, valuable relationship / marriage where? Before we even get into the fact that you should be able to go here and there, you should be able to do this or that, with
whomever you want…to an acceptable point and to a respectable limit, while you’re in a
relationship. It’s not jail. You’re not in a cage, are you? Just be cautious and mindful that you’re actually doing
more with your partner, than without him/her.
Disclaimer: I
said, to a point and to a limit because I don’t want anything misinterpreted. Living a single life while you’re in a
relationship or a marriage, is farrrrrrrrr from meaning the same as giving each other the
space and freedom they need to hold onto their individuality. It then becomes the responsibility of both you
and your partner to respect the boundaries of that space and freedom and if you
fuck that up? Then wave and say….bye-bye
trust.
Whatever you do
or don’t do? Single or not, there is
always someone that you need to justify your actions to -------------------------------I hear crickets------------and whistling---------and
cartoon blinking------- what about to yourself?
Sure, I can see
why it would feel as if that part can be overlooked. It’s so easy.
If you don’t want to answer to yourself, you don’t need to, right? Wrong!
Me? I gave it no thought. If I didn’t feel like being honest with
myself to avoid having to deal with something that I did, where it wasn’t the
best of things to do…I could and
would step right over it and keep walking.
And what do you think happened? Eventually,
it affected me as a parent as well as a partner.
Shhhhhhhhhhh…but
I’ve been going through a phase of “If only
I knew then what I know now……” for quite a while now and too many times I
wish that I could find a way to go back and do things over simply because I
know now how I could have handled things better.
It just seems
crazy to me now that I’ve walked through most of my life without acknowledging
that it also meant, to myself, when it came to justification of what I either
did or didn’t do. In the random moments
that I would? I found that it’s always peachy
when it’s us judging us. Who’s to stop
you from giving yourself a free pass? Nobody! However, when it’s us judging others for the
same crap, it’s a whole different story.
Then all hell breaks loose and it becomes a thing of, HOW THE FUCK COULD YOU DO THAT TO ME! And let me tell you something? Those caps become lower case quick and fast
when you’re honest about, “What was my
part in it? Could I have been part of the cause?" I’ll bet my hips on the
fact that it’s one of the reasons that my ex-husband and I can now actually
enjoy each other’s company without resentment.
Had I not asked myself that question? And gave myself an honest answer? I’d still be angry as shit with him today.
