The last I talked to y'all was after my procedure but you know what? What's crazy with the time that's passed is that it doesn't appear that I've completely healed from my breast procedure because I still get an ache inside. My nipple, I mean. And I don't mean the good kind. -_-! Drat!
I'm working on it though!
Hehehehe!
You should too! Hey? At least I'm getting ANNNNN ache! If you're not even getting bad ache's then you're worst off than I am, shiiiiiiiiiiiiiit?!?! And you really shouldn't stand for that shit! 'Cause well, It's shit! So change it. Go out there and meet someone who can make your nipple ache.
I-I never said that.
Look? If your guardian questions me about why I'm dishing out such sinful advice? I'm not even gonna ask why you have a guardian at your age. All I'm gonna do is tell 'm that I meant the doctor. I'll be like, "Guardian? When I said go out and find someone to make her nipple ache, I didn't mean anybody who didn't study for seven years! Neither did I mean anyone who hadn't just put her in a deep sleep armed with a knife."
I told yall this already, but it's not like he didn't use the word, destroy! Being the benefit of the doubt giver that I am, I just thought he always wanted to tell a woman, "Ima destroy your nipple!" You know? We all have that one thing we're just waiting to say at least once in our lives. I figured that coulda been his so I let him have his moment. More than once. And when he said it the third time, it hit me that he might have nipple destroying OCD but then I let it go. It was either that or run outa the hospital in a gown that flashed my ass!
All I'm saying is this. If you're a goer, then go. I'm a stayer. In my house. Don't learn from me. I'd lead you to lonely hell! But?!? I'm working on it! And this morning, I woke up missing my one and only soulmate...sixteen years and still going strong! That's how soulmates roll! A-hem!
This one is called, Cracks at the Core
Here I am, another morning of me doing what I gotta do
Going through the motions with a million thoughts of you
Repeatedly, I wonder how I even landed in this place
Then I remember, it was that moment that I saw your face
And then my heart bleeds for however long
Vibrating in my chest about it's wrong, this's so wrong
I can stand it at times and other times it's sore
But constantly it feels like I'm cracking at the core
I get angry every so often, that's how I pass the hours
And then I ask myself what I ever did to deserve a love like ours
The cruelest on my spirit yet the mightiest of it's kind
'Cause I see you in everything but it's not you, it's my mind
And then I start to bleed again, too long, it's been too long
My heart pounds this song in my chest about it's wrong, 's so wrong
I don't wanna find strength to stand it or feel sore anymore
'Cause distance swallows any chance of mending these cracks at my core
In the middle of everything, I stop and beg for mercy
From this aching need that I feel so deep inside'a me
It's still an empty morning with love dripping from my soul
So then if the universe won't help, does that mean I just live with this hole?
Bleeding love pain
Too long
There goes my heart again
This's wrong
I can't stand it
Soul is sore
Just gotta sit
With cracks at my core
Just gotta sit
With cracks at my core
(C) 2014 Stacey Kell
17 September 2014
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