Friday 17 June 2016

1am Serenade

What better time to blog than 1am in the morning, huh? Well that was when I started this post. Eventually slept after 3am.

I was far from pleased that I was laying awoke listening to Sam Smith, ironically, Lay Me Down, but hey? Things could be worse. I coulda been laying awoke WITH Sam Smith.

NOT a lick of an insult intended there, I have no problem with gay people, orange people, square people, tall people or short people, it don't matter to me, that's my boy right there but then the ever-watching world would be all confused and lose sleep over wait, did you see Sam Smith laying awoke with the Rambler?

Even if, as one of my favourite artists, he took it upon himself to find me out of the goodness of his heart and serenade me to sleep as my gift for being a fan of his gift, the paparazzi would have their own agenda. Wait until I'm sobbing in his arms, over HIS heartache, to snap us up! And then what?!? You already know what! His good deed is then turned into something to fall of a chair over. Nuuuuuh-uh!!! Do we honestly need any more confusion on this earth?

Therrrrre you go.
No!

So, for now. We're all the better for it. Me, Sam and the worlds population of nosey asses.

Yo, I slept half the day away yesterday. :-/ Which could explain why I was wide-awake at that part of the morning. I was hoping that it didn't cause me to sleep until noon today 'cause then I woulda been hopping mad with myself. Wasting away the days like that. I didn't take leave from work to catch up on sleep. Pffffffft! Normal people leave that for a Saturday.

Was reading just now that Penny Sparrow was fined to pay R150,000.00 to some NGO's for her hate speech towards Blacks. In the same token, I wait to see what will happen to Ayanda George after posting on social media that all Coloureds are slaves and useless drug addicts.

I'm not holding my breath, though.

But let's see, shall we?


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Wednesday 15 June 2016

Speech To Text

Yes yes yes yes yes!!!!!!!  :-) 

I just discovered speech to text on my phone and I am raaaaaather excited.  Whoop whoop excited!!!!  #I am blessed.  And see?  I said hashtag and this smart ass phone inserted it.  

Griiiiiiiiiiiin!  

This could very well mean a lot more blogging... And a whole new world for writing books.  Faster!!!!


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Sam Smith, Lay Me Down

I heard this song today, had to find it.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=HaMq2nn5ac0





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Tuesday 14 June 2016

If Reeva Could Choose

I'm quite certain that she'd choose depression over death anytime, Oscar. I'm just saying. When you were up in that duplex that Valentines night, channelling ya inner Rambo, the furthest thing from your mind was depression.

Go to jail for murder, you must.

You're still alive. Reeva's not. But then....you already know that, right. 'Cause if you were anybody else? You'd want you to go to jail too. If you were Reeva and you were six feet under, you'd want her to go to jail too. So. Be fair.

I'd absolutely understand if you were innocent but you shot the woman. Take ya anti-depressants and take ya sentencing too because that's where murderers should go to sit and think about what they've done. In THAT naughty corner. The one where yes, you might hear men being raped, you might see men having hung themselves....that's no 5-star resort. That's prison. Not in the comfort of their own home. Not in a hotel room. Not under house arrest.

But in jail.

All that vomiting in the initial trial...eh...she'd give just about anything to throw up. Maybe not in a bathroom in your house, but somewhere. But she can't. Now you got the clinical psychologist is talking about, "Oscar is a very broken man." Ya think? "His spirit is broken." Well, I'm sure once the reality sets in of what you've done, something DOES break. Especially when what you've done, can't be undone or can't be fixed. None of us are immune to that cold consequence when we've done something to hurt someone else.

And see, article, yes I'm talking to the article, it's not about, "We gotta stop men killing women and children." Okay, sure. But men aren't the only ones who kill. So shouldn't it be about stopping people killing people, period? You kill in cold blood that way? It shouldn't matter whether you have a penis or a vagina or both! Depressed or not, you shouldn't be walking the streets a free person.

So all that bent over, curled shouldered, slow walking that you're doing in the courtroom doing, walk yourself over to your jail cell. Reeva's dead. And you shot her.

Pffffffft!

Intruders, my ass! You don't check whether your woman is in the bed after you start shooting wild. Why? Because, uhhh, shocker?! It jussssssst might be her in the bathroom.

Aaaaaaah, see? Why didn't you think of that, right?

Yeah. Why didn't you?


https://www.theguardian.com/world/2016/jun/13/his-spirit-seems-broken-court-told-oscar-pistorius-severely-depressed
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WOW...

https://youtu.be/774gZFLVemg




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We Simply Adjust

Ahhhhh!  Here we are.  You're doing….something.  And I'm munching on a packet of original liquorice all-sorts sweets on another Tuesday of yet another week.  It's as if even the weekdays are like, "Mannnnnn, I need a weekend…"  'Cause, don't you find that one day it's Monday and then Tuesday, Wednesday, Danceday just become somewhat of a blur?  I thought I was bad, shew!  Cause yall know how much I love me some Friday.  Maybe it's my will? 

Naaaaah.  Credit should be given where credit is due.  End of times, is what it is! 

LOL!  I sound like one of those people who's studied the Book of Revelations seventeen times over, huh?  Or a pensioner.  One of those who will use anything as evidence.  Get their electricity bill, open up that envelope, pat their bodies down searching for their spectacles, read the amount now due, shake their heads and mumble disgustingly about, "End of times, I telya.  End of times."

On a serious note though, I'm beginning to believe that more and more over the recent years.  All of these catastrophe's constantly unfolding around us.  Mass shootings every time we blink.  Earthquakes.  Floods.  Bodies being washed up at shore.  Jacob Zuma………….I could go on.  But for the sake of objective journalism, I won't.  And then how shocked are we anymore?  On a scale of one to ten, how shocked are we when we hear that-------let's say, a massive earthquake just happened somewhere in the world.  Note, I didn't say sad or compassionate.  I said shocked.

Three, maybe?  That's because too often now, shit that woulda been deemed out of the ordinary back in the day, are common occurrences now.  It desensitizes us.  But I guess that goes for anything that happens a little too often.  You were born, bred and live in a country that has cold and rain for ten months of the year?  You stop getting wet.  Hahahahahaha!  Lies!  Your body just becomes accustomed.  IIII dunno if your skin gets thicker or wth but you're just able to handle it better than someone who comes from a different climate.

When I was in Thailand in that roasting heat?  I saw locals with jackets and hoodies on and I would stand and point like wtf!  Hahahahaha! No, I wouldn't. Mentally, I did. You just adjust.  That's not to say that it doesn't affect you at all.  They WERE looking hot.  Not hot hot.  Hot like they could be sweating bullets under there and not even knowing it.  It just doesn't affect them as if that kind of heat happened three days a year, ya know? My Durban skin?  All over my body broke out into this heat rash because as hot as it is here?  It's still not at that level.  Ya Rambler became one with the anti-histamines.

Everything. 

You get hurt enough that the next time you do, you eventually shrug your shoulders and simply go on about your business.  As if it was what you were expecting.  Common occurrences in your own personal life, in your surroundings, in the world, they become an eventual way of life and when it's no longer a surprise, it means it was expected.  And that's the thing right there. Expecting.  Huge gasps become little ones.  That's just how it goes.  Whether we begin to build the proverbial wall around ourselves to feel safer or whether we do it to someone before they do it to us, as a defence mechanism or whether we make conscious decisions never to hurt someone else that way.  We still adjust, in some way, shape or form. 

I just really don't like the fact that the types of horrible things going on in the world today are becoming a way of life, where when the news breaks, the first response is, "OMG, how sad!" but because things like that always happen, we might discuss it in company once or twice and then life goes on.  At least from where I'm standing.         

In other news?  This week?  Wednesday will be my Friday.  Danceday is a public holiday and who honestly works on the Friday after a public holiday?  Only Nadia.  That's my cousin, by the way.  Nadia?  Readers….Readers?  Nadia! 

And with the formalities outa the way, it's time for the weather report.  The sun is tryna be deceiving.  Almost as if it's playing a game of truth or dare.  If you look out of my window right now?  You could see one of two things.  A grey monkey with aqua blue balls relaxing on the roof like they sometimes do or…….or you could see sunshine.  However, that, under no circumstances means that it's a pleasant day.  I will admit, today has been but yesterday?????  Nay.  We've had snow on the Drakensburg mountains since the weekend.  When I tell you it's been fureeeeeeeeeeezing cold?  I mean, it's been, BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!  CAPITAL LETTERS COLD!  UH-HUH, THAT COLD!  Like real Winter.  Not lie-lie Winter.  Granted, Durban doesn't get real Winter if you compare it a lot of the other parts of the world or South Africa, but it's the only Winter that we know.  Howevvver………….yesterday reminded me that I have actually gotten to experience what cold feels like in another country and that I should be grateful but no.   

So, yesterday?  I thought I was being Winter-wise, right.  I wore a long sleeve fitted t-shirt under my long sleeve shirt and jeans and socks and boots.  I knew though that forgetting my scarf would bite me in the ass.  And it did!  Ass is such a strong word when you actually mean nails. I used to own gloves.  In case you were wondering, yes, this is still the weather report.  More weather reporters should use the word ass.  In addition to the normal strong southerly wind warnings, they should at least add some, "Today, you're gonna freeze ya ass off!"  Or, "Please get back in that house and cover that ass!"  or  "What an ass backwards outfit to wear in this weather, pfffffft?!"  I found that the only thing that remedies blue fingernails is a hot shower.  Shamefully, they don't have hot showers at work or else I'd at least be able to get through the day without feeling hatred.  Relax!  Take my word for it.  It's okay to hate the cold.  Cold is not a person.  Or an animal.  Although, there are some creatures on my short list.  Scorpios, cockroaches………olives.  :-/  Unfortunately for olives?  Like Jacob Zuma, they fit into any category of disaster. 



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Saturday 11 June 2016

Looking Outward

I realize now more than ever that if it's dependent on anything outside of your own self? Your happiness meter will always go up, down, up, down, up and dowwwwwn.
Nobody and nothing out there should have to bear that responsibility anyway. That means that if you're with someone or you're doing something, before and after both of those? You should be able to sustain a certain level of fulfilment. Easier said than done, for sure. Because in the midst of heartbreak or a sense of loss, it's almost impossible to feel anything good. But I think that if you went into anything already being okay, without it, then losing it, losing them, will hurt but healing from it doesn't drag on.
So how are you going to heal from losing something or someone where you've made them the sole source of your happiness? Your sole source, period? That's a toughy. Tough to heal and tough to deal. Even without a loss? Just an absence, leaves you looking around like, "Fuck do I do with myself until I get to see them again or speak to them again or do that again?" Right?
I can't sit here and tell you that the road to being absolutely okay that way is not a lifelong journey, or that it's an easy one. I see it as a constant road of standing back and deciding, "Did that make me feel positive? Did that add anything to my life?" If it did, you keep it. If it didn't, well? What good is it to you?
Hobbies, help. A healthy social life, helps. Spending the day alone and not feeling as though you're alone, helps. The worst thing is to have nothing to fill your time with, during loss or absence. That's the type of situation that leaves these huge gaps that mmmmm, sometimes things like alcohol fills? Hmmmmm? That's just one example of a gap-filler. One of the more dangerous I think because you don't actually notice how quickly a glass before bed becomes a glass right after you wake and not long after that becomes, "Ahhhh, not doing anything, just sitting alone and watching tv and drinking some wine...." many times a week.
As cold as it sounds? Work towards a full life. A life where you have enough left over should you not be able to continue seeing a person or doing a thing. That's not to say that you have to strive to be inhumane. Oh no! That's not to say that even having a full life prevents pain. No. It means, like I said, you have enough left over. And if you have enough left over, then you have enough to turn empty days into busy days, and enough to turn gaping holes into pin holes quicker than having lost your sole source!
You, be your sole source. Hell! And while you're there? Be your SOUL source too!

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Pillow Talk, Zayn Malik

Another bomb song.....loving the lyrics.

Today's tip: Must be listened to LOUD!!!!!! :-)

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=C_3d6GntKbk
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Friday 10 June 2016

Morrrrrrning!

Just stopped by to say good morning. Hope you all have a weekend to remember! Me? I'll have lots to remember. Mops, brooms, vacuum cleaners. Ima remember the washing liquid when I turn on the washing machine which is fine, clean clothes are the new black. Trending now, #cleanclothesrock

Just peeped out my window, it's nothing but collllld, wind and rain out there! But it's pretty warm under this blanket! Today's Saturday so I have a choice on whether I get out from under it or not. NOT! Lol!

Hmmmmmmmmm......warmness wins. See y'all later!


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Home

"somewhere out there is someone who will bring pieces of you home...."

I will always believe that there is THIS someone out there for each of us.  I read one time that home is not a place, that it's a person.  That's such a real feeling.  Being home in a person.  It's one of the few things in life that I think is not overrated.  If it's described as out of this world, it is.  One if a kind, then it is.

Frankly, it's quite an extrardinary find.  Something to treasure more than treasure itself.  

I can't tell you why, often lifetimes go by and they don't show up. All I can figure is that they do but distractions of whatever kind, situation, people, circumstance?  You don't notice.  And second chances are far and few between.  But not impossible.

So if you're over there giving up on that kinda love finding you.  Don't.  Keep your heart open.  None of us can walk through a shut door.  



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Wednesday 8 June 2016

CLOSE by Nick Jonas

THIS! Is my new favourite song! His voice is crazy beautiful...

Just watched the video a few minutes ago?!?

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=XgJFqVvb2Ws

Hold on....tryna get myself together 'cause that whole experience just crawled right under my skin!!

DAM DAM DAM DAM!

That struggle that they depict in that video?
O.M.G!
I need me a moment!
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Tuesday 7 June 2016

Jesus Dome Burnt Down!

Wowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! This is what I get for dozing off on the couch! I opened Facebook once I woke and see this;

https://www.ecr.co.za/news-sport/news/jesus-dome-fire-it-looks-twin-towers-have-come-down-all-over-again/

I really can't believe that this happened! Wow! Meanwhile? My cousins car was just stolen this Sunday from here while they were attending the service.

Crazy!

Mannn, this is unbelievable!


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Smiling Smoothie

:-)

How happy does my guava and yoghurt smoothie look?! Lol!

I had to get a new blender as soon as I got back. That sweltering hell heat In Thailand had us hooked on smoothies so much so that when we would reach within hearing distance of the lady or the guy who serves, they would say, "Mango? Two?" Hahahahahahaha!

Sadly, mango season in good ol' SA is at the end of the year so I've been making them from boring banana or like this one, guava....next is gonna be pear. That's about as exciting as that gets. Wait 'til I start mixing them. Then the fun starts. Such smoothie unworthy fruit in Winter. :-/ Everything about Winter is just bleh!

Remember I had those cysts removed in the hospital? Well? My blender didn't survive that! What's worse is that I hadn't ever used it. Paige and Linds happened to it! SMH! Need I say more? They came to the hospital one night, telling me about these delicious smoothies they made at home. I wanted to come back with, "Yeah well, I just had gas, three metal pipes and a camera stuffed into my abdomen after I was injected into unconsciousness." But I thought, ahhhhh, lemme give them their moment.

Once I was discharged and I could actually walk like I wasn't 116 years old? I cut all of the fruit, poured in the ice and yoghurt? Switched it on?

Not a damn thing happened!

Took some out 'cause now I'm doubting myself! I'd doubted myself many times previous but never over a blender just staring at me, talking 'bout, "What!?" Guess there's a first time for everything. Press the switch and still, nothing!

And that was the end of my blender.

Byyyyyyyyyyye blender!



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Merry-Go-Round

Errrrm-er-gerrrd!!!!  >_<!

If it's not violent protests over election candidate lists in KwaZulu Natal.  Or Penny Sparrow's upcoming case in the Equality court……….or?  Zuma selling us down the river to the Gupta's!  Then it's the EFF causing ructions and getting thrown out of the House of Parliament. 

Hold on-----------------Did Zuma pay back the money yet?  Hmmmmm?  I just read that Penny Sparrow will be appearing in court on Friday or something.  While I wholeheartedly agree that calling Blacks, monkey's, on social media or calling them any kind of derogatory anything on any media, is a no-no?!!!  I am also well aware that Apartheid is over.  Volatility is rife.  You shoulda known that too, Penny.  Everybody already has their ears peeled and flapping for any kind of hate speech and you wanna brazenly hate-type and hit post??  Nooooooo-no, lady.  You asked for it!  You really can't be calling people animal names like that.  Come on now.   Unless, you're in the throes of passion.  That's different.  Then it's motivation.  Then it's dirty talk.  But not dirty where half the nation wants your head on a platter.  Dirty where you want your head……oops. 

BLUSH! 

I shall take me a walk and return…soon.

 

Ahem!  Moving right along.  I read too that she will be forced to pay R200,000.00 to a NGO (A non-governmental organization is any non-profit, voluntary citizens' group which is organized on a local, national or international level) as punishment.  Personally?  I would rather they force her to buy food to the value of R200,000.00 and feed poor families since who the hell knows where that money's gonna end up.  It could be anywhere from someone's hands to someone's pockets.  But see, this is what makes me think about tv licenses. 

No, no, stop!  Ima make a valid point here.  Sit down….     

Year after year after year, we…us, the television owners of South Africa are threatened to the point of paranoia.  Hey?  I was stubborn about it at first.  I was like, I will NOT!  But, punk that I am?  I ran out and bought my tv license.  I figured that it would just be better to watch tv, freely than to be jolting at every knock on the door once you've settled down on the sofa.  Then everything just becomes a horror movie.  Horror is what I feel for having to even pay for a license in the first place!  The garbage that is aired could make you throw up in your mouth, twice.  That right there is the sole reason that nobody wants to or should have to pay tv licenses anyhow!  But then they have us by the balls with their constant threats of jail time. 

R265.00 per annum!  Which is about what?  US18?  Yeah.  You're probably saying to yourself, "Well whaddaya moaning about there Rambler, that's real cheap!"  Yes, it's cheap, BUT?!?!?!  Firstly, our eyeballs hurt.  Secondly, they have a nerve to, for R265.00, want to arrest us and make us serve time should the inspector decide to do random checks and find us watching Days of Our Lives, without a tv license!  Here, you think I'm kidding.  I copied this from the SABC website;

Q: WHAT ARE THE LEGAL CONSEQUENCES OF CONTRAVENING THE TV LICENCE LEGISLATION?
A: Anyone found guilty in court of failing to comply with the law may be sentenced to a fine of not more than R500.00 or to imprisonment for up to six months, or both. 
 
BOTH?!?!?!  Dammmmmm, it's worse than I thought!  Now I have to amend my second point to read; Secondly, they have a nerve to, for R265.00, want to arrest us, force us to pay a fine and still serve jail time should the inspector decide to pop around to do random checks in the hope of finding us watching Days of Our Lives, without a tv license!  And just let him!  Let him…..there will be no, "No tv license, huh?!?!?!?  I am removing your aerial!"  ZAP!  "Now you can wonder!  You can wonder what happened to Stefano just like we had to wonder where your tv license fee is!" 

Meanwhile, back at Nkandla, who's doing walkabouts and random checks on whether or not they're having weekly "fire pool" parties?  To me, that pool should be shut down, emptied and filled with rocks until further notice!  It is part of a COMPLETE investigation.  I actually said that without laughing, wow.  Mature moment.  Has the punishment been issued?  Yay.  Has the money been paid back?  Double nay.  Lemme ask you something, in private, if you will………..do you actually believe that there will ever be a "refund"? 

If we're gonna compare apples with apples as far as guilty verdicts and enforcement of punishment go.  Power trumps punishment.  Aside from the tv license crap……Penny Sparrow IS guilty of hate speech.  And rightfully so.  I can almost guarantee you that she will be made to pay that R200,000.00 to that pocket.  I mean, that NGO.  But then I look on the other end of the see-saw, Zuma was found guilty of misusing millions of Rands worth of public funds for private gain.  Which one of us in this cyber room can even give a lick of a guarantee that one rusty cent of that will ever be paid back?  Anybody?  Somebody?!?  I've heard close to nothing about this issue recently anyway which means that it's a distant memory by now…………until the EFF get on that House of Parliament mic again. 



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Saturday 4 June 2016

Me Time.....

About to go to bed on this very chilly, very quiet Saturday evening. Spent all day except for two hours at home today. Earlier, once I got my linen washed and hung, I curled up on that one-seater couch and fell right back to sleep.

Watched an extremely touching and thought-provoking movie called, The Good Lie. The movie is set around five siblings, Sudanese refugees who become orphaned after their parents are killed. Them, along with others, who survive the journey without being killed, make their way to the refugee camp in Kenya where it then takes thirteen years for them to be taken to the USA. It takes you through their transition, their trauma, their sacrifices. If ever I've seen bravery, it was in this movie. Seeing movies like this makes me cringe at the rubbish that we complain about. Eh!

Slept a lot.

Sometimes, I really don't wish for any kinda company and I enjoy having that choice. Me time. Sleep time. Not do anything time. Get ya head together time. You know?

We all need that. The ability to spend some time with ourselves. This space I'm in at the moment? It's has me craving solitude. Did a lot of running wild here, there and everywhere over the last two weeks and very little of that running was for my own benefit. I don't know that that's entirely true because it does leave me with an accomplished feeling. So, no, I'm not sorry. I'm never sorry because it makes me feel good to lend a hand where I can, especially when the help is appreciated but honestly? I have been feeling too, the effects of being pulled in numerous different directions.

That's why today, I was happy to have been able to just----------------take in the day and enjoy it the way that I wanted to. No deadlines. No rushing around. Nothing but myself, my time, my thoughts and my pace.

So now? Off to bed I go. Tomorrow, unfortunately, won't be a me-time, don't-leave-the-house kinda day. Tomorrow, I'll be cleaning and then heading off for a birthday cake and tea, in the afternoon.

Goodnight!



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Friday 3 June 2016

A Sound So Precious!

Have you ever started your day off to the sound of ya grandbaby's healthy heartbeat for the very first time??????? I DID!

Just.......just WOW, that beautiful little heart has an unmistakably strong beat! It must know I like base! I mean? I heard it allllllllllll the way in South Africa from Thailand! Hahahahaha! A-hem....I did, though?!

So, I'm listening, must have watched that video over a dozen times already and thinking, "Sounds like baby's just run a marathon, dammmm! Listen to how fast that precious heart is beating." And, and, annnnd, I also have pics and baby's tiny arms and legs are visible in the ultrasound too. Ofcourse, I had to Google a clearer pic of what baby looks like at 10 weeks in the womb......ten weeks....and too many months to go.

You can tell that I can't wait to meet this little one, huh? Yeahhhh, undeniably, I CAN'T! I'm counting the months 'til I do! I kid you not, I was counting the months as soon as she told me, two days after we arrived in Chiang Mai!

I simply love and appreciate the way that technology is able to bridge the gap this way! Go, technology! Lawwwwd knows this situation would have been that much harder to handle if it wasn't for Whatsapp and Skype!



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Thursday 2 June 2016

A World Turned Cold

Wentworth is the area in which I grew up. The area that my mum and dad and other family members still live in.

A good friend of mine sent me a text last night after news broke that three hijacking suspects tryna make off with a stolen vehicle from Wentworth, were shot. Two dead at that point. This morning, I believe it changed to three. That was after they began shooting at the police and trying to run the them off the road. After the two dreadful weekends that Wentworth had, none of us wanted to hear any more bad news. After the two weekends that Wentworth had, she told me that she took her son for a haircut and waited for him, in fear.

See, gang violence has always been something that's plagued the Wentworth community. Drugs and alcohol too.

I've always wondered, even as a little kid-------my older siblings and family has seen a lot more than I ever did and to this day, I think I've seen one incident, face to face. Not the fight. The injury. I remember us being at my aunts and my uncle was lying on the living room floor, on his stomach. There were fresh stab wounds all over his back, still bleeding. My aunts were attending to him at the time.

I hated having to see that, blood and those slits in his flesh. Something I've never forgotten and I've always wondered why people were so angry at each other just for living in a different area of the same place. Back then, it was mostly about that. Where one lived. It made no sense to me then and it makes no sense to me now. And it was worse if as a man, you came into Wentworth from a totally different Coloured area like Sydenham or something. Your life was in grave danger then.

Again, what sense does that make? And then I realized a long time ago that the saddest part in all of this violence and hatred and unrest and death? These guys don't even know why they are fighting. Living in a different place hardly stood ground as a reason to me. And many others.

I was approached by gangster as a young teenager, I'm sure I told y'all about this, fresh from a fight, bloodstained bushknife in his one hand, other hand holding onto my trembling fingers. I wanted to move farrrrrrrr away, immediately. Typing this, I feel fortunate at how that situation turned out. He didn't have to let me go because my friend yelled, "Stacey, your dad's calling you." Another memory that I wish I'd let go along with the rest.

Except now, the violence amongst the gangs-----and it dies down and then starts up again and dies down and then starts up again------it's been quiet for a while and then someone got shot in
May. Now, most of the violence is linked to drugs. If all and not only some, of the police in the area weren't on the take, maybe there'd be hope to clean up the area.

This plague has claimed countless lives in this place. Unnecessarily so. The men that killed my uncle when I was real young? He was a gangster too. So was his brother, my other uncle. It seems most of the men their age, that I can remember, were. Those guys that killed him lived about a five minute walk away from him. But because the main street ran between the two areas, it meant, two gangs.

Still? I can't find the sense.

Because it's been home to myself and so many Coloured people, it pains me to see front page news like this;

48-hour gang war in Durban
CRIME & COURTS / 31 May '16, 1:30pm

Durban - A packed church was petrol-bombed, a man shot dead and a 71-year-old woman hit in the arm by a stray bullet as gang war gripped Wentworth.
Kyle Sewell was shot 11 times in Stower Road, Wentworth. Religious leaders and residents believe the violence, over a 48-hour period, was sparked by the murder of a former gangster outside a Florida Road nightclub two weeks ago.

Now, in the midst of a spike in drive-by shootings and clashes between rival gangs - over the lucrative drug trade - residents of the south Durban suburb are questioning why police recently shut down a gang task force set up by the Hawks two years ago.

Pastor John Bailey, a community organiser, said the latest violence had been caused by the vacuum left after police shut the task team.

"We have no idea why they shut down that unit. They managed to quell the violence and made some good arrests. There was absolutely no reason given for its closure. We even wrote to the provincial police commissioner asking them to keep the Hawks unit for another year, but they didn't," he said.

:-( I'm tired of hearing about death. Everywhere. And at that end, someone always becomes richer or more powerful.  While other's become poorer or even deader.  Deader?  Yes, deader!

I don't know what has happened to life.  Everywhere I look, I open the newspaper, I turn on the tv, I read Yahoo news and there's nothing but chaos all around us.  What happened to life?  What happened to that feeling that I used to have when I was building sand houses with my best friend filled with so much hope and simplicity?  As if it's impossible to carry that through into adulthood.

People are dying for being the wrong colour. Wrong religion. Wrong gender. Children, even. People are dying for cellphones and cars and shit that's worth nothing when you compare any of them to--------LIFE!



Sent via my BlackBerry from Vodacom - let your email find you!

Wednesday 1 June 2016

Favourite Martin Episode


"Was watching Martin and his crazy antics again, this episode is when Gina moves to NY and he believes that she's only doing it to get a proposal out of him.  After everything, he's planned this proposal to Gina and then he pretends to be about to sing and Gina's like, don't, don't, don't...you can't sing, blah blah blah, lmao! And suddenly....Brian McKnight starts singing, "There will never come a day, you will ever hear me say, that I want and need to be without you, I wanna give my all, baby just hold me, simply console me, coz ya arms, they keep away the lonely. When I look into your eyes, then I realize, that all I need is you in my life...all I need is you in my life. Cos I've never felt this way about loving...." And Gina just shuts up and sits there and has this, "I knewwwww you loved me after all that bullshit you just put me through..." look on her face and as Brian's singing, Martin is just staring at Gina, I've never seen this episode before but he's looking at her as serious as I've ever seen him where it's as though he's saying with his eyes every word that Brian's singing.  For a minute I honestly forgot that I wasn't watching reality or even Martin and it might be that I'm in an over emotional place, I dunno, but crying watching Martin did NOT make any sense to me, LOL!  Just...there was something so real about how she just relented and then the way that he stared at her...all the bullshit disappeared and what mattered, mattered.  There are times when love really doesn't need words.  If you get a chance, you-tube the scene. I'm very interested to hear other views on it."

Facebook shows you memories from a year ago and this was mine from June, 1st of 2015.  So, I'm just done showering and settle on the couch to watch a little bit of tv before I fall asleep and what do I see?  The very same episode of Martin. 😲 

Crazier too is the fact that I seem to be?  Look?  Winter can have this one.  Here, Winter.  Take it!  Cause I don't want it.  Clearly, Winter affects me in ways that make it difficult to watch comedies. 😭  

I think that's enough tv for tonight.