I'm Tryna Find.....

I'm still planning on doing that back to school shopping. Uuuuurgh!!!! Been putting it off alllllll week. On the real though? I have no clue why a person, me-----can't just throw the back to school list up in the air and all of the items just drop onto your head? That would be less painful than having to go to stores and pick everything out, IIIII think. But that's just me.

Wait? Did I just choose a concussion over stationery and uniform shopping?

Looks like!
Oh well? (Shrug) Sometimes our choices are questionable but it happens to the best of us. Ask me, I've made some befuddling ones throughout my adult years. Forgive yourself and let it go.

I'm not gonna say that I can't believe that we're two nights away from 2016. What I will say is that reality is best believed.

What I'm hoping for in the coming year, aside from being dented in the skull by pencils and hard cover books, is that I can locate my inspiration for writing again.

"Where for art thou inspiration?!?" That was 2015's theme.

So if that too could hit me like a ton of books, I'd be more than satisfied.

Thank you, in advance----------inspiration fairies.

On a more serious note, I really wanna start reading more. Blogging more. Creating more. Being productive with my time. You know?
:-)
I knew you would.

M-M-M! Look at him. Cruz is painfully uninterested, right now. He's just laying there. Like my inspiration. Laying there. Asleep. I'm also just laying here. Awoke. Eyeing him with the corner of my eye----------------------I just attached a picture of him as proof that he has little to no sympathy for my writers block dilemma. When he's older, Ima whip out this picture while we're having that 'support' talk.

(Rambler shakes sense back into her head as she realizes that he's not her youngest born, but rather, the family pet...)

Alrighty then, moving on.....




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Despite The Distance

It's been a memorable couple of days.

Merry Christmas everyone!

It's no longer Christmas in SA, but I know it still is sommmmmewhere out there! Here's wishing that yours was as enjoyable as mine.


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It's Christmas in SA

............And ofcourse, ya Rambler had to come over to wish you all a very Merry, Together-filled Christmas! God bless you and yours!




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Touchscreen Smouchscreen!!!

SHEWWWW! Thankfully, I still have my Blackberry.

>_<!

Look-----------------you looking?

K!

I've never claimed to have petite fingertips but I KNOW for a FACT that I don't have tree trunks either. Lemme tell you something. When, as a woman, you gotta start mentally doubting the width of your fingertips? Hmmmmmmpf! Know that SHIT?! Just got real!

See, I figured that since 2016 is fast approaching, that I'll just become a sheep. I've now succumbed to the whole Android craze, right. However? That full touch screen story is whipping my South African Coloured ASS! Tryna type a simple sentence like, "I wish that were the case........"

I look again and the screen's talking 'bout, "I eish thay wete the....."

What! The! ?!@#!??




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Thumbs Down to Shopping

I dunno WHOOOOOO said shopping was therapeutic. All I know is? I just got to the mall with my cousin and our kids and I won't lie. I've been in one measly store and I'm done. Done. Ready to go home. Ready to put my feet up. Ready to sleep 'til Christmas is over.

I think it's the whole buzz. The busy-ness of it all. I think that's what wears a person out. Starting to feel like I'm a defective woman. Lol! I'm not s'posed to dislike shopping as much as I do in this very moment. It's the bobbing and weaving and bumping people avoidance and clutching your bag and paying attention to your surroundings that's turned what's meant to be something women are supposed to love more life into a stressful experience that some of us defective women would rather do without.

I'd imagine that shopping could be therapeutic if there were less people? Maybe online? Have you ever shopped online for clothing? Me? Never! But something tells me that I'm gonna try that soon because this?!? I can't deal with the hussle and bussle of the holiday season anymore. And I'm not even thaaaaaaaat old. Halfway old. I refuse to label myself as middle-aged 'cause that's always an assumption. What if I live 'til 129? To be safe? When I turn 64 and a half, thennnnnn I'll be middle-aged. In the middle of my last age.

Sitting here on this bench putting all of the energy I have into not falling alseep. Yawwwwwwwwn! Food is needed.



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She's At It Again!!

It's now just 6.30am South African time and ya Rambler is sitting here typing this----------in gym clothes!

Yep! Gills has me up at the crack on my days off only to crack the whip on me at the gym!

Ehhhhhhhh, well? My thighs will be all the better for it, huh?!?

^_^!
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Well? At Least I Have Skype!

This festive season feels horribly empty. I feel real lost with most of my immediate family members not in the country. Especially, my daughter. We haven't been apart over the holidays, since she was born and yo?!? I gotta tell you this!

I almost flew out there to surprise her in a few days. That was until the travel agents told me, without hesitation or nervous laughter, quite confidently actually. It would cost R10,000 more to fly nowwwww as opposed to oh, I dunno? Last month!?! My thoughts when I heard that?

?@#@!?#@@@@@###?!?***#!@"!?#@!!!!!!!! Thoughts because can I seriously fight with the agents on the phone when they're actually just the messenger? No. So, I thought-----the cursing.

I mean? Not one, two or three thousand! Ten whole thousand! Which is as ridiculous as me opening my mouth and closing it around an olive and consciously chewing those bastards! Never gonna happen. Look? I understand peak season but that's peaking a lil toooooo much for me! That's highhhhhhhh! Like the cow jumped over the moon high! Like pigs flying , high!!!! That's reaching heaven high! And they have no right to reach heaven! They have to earn reaching heaven and with prices like that?!? When mother's wanna surprise their unsuspecting daughters over the season to be jolly?! Then I'd say that's a thick black permanent marker strike against their name!

I'm still planning my holiday out there, though! I'm addicted to those Thai pants for seconds. For firsts?! I miss my babygirl. Yeah yeah I just saw her two months ago but it's times like these that weigh on my heart a little heavier than normal. So I'm still planning! It just won't be around the time that they have us believing that Jesus was born. Nope, it won't! I'd have been packing right now had they inflated the air fare prices by just one or even two thousand Rands. But ten?!? Uhhhhhhhh-uhhhhhhhh!!!!!! Not tryna be a fool with my cash NOMO! Our economy is damn near gone to hell, if not there already because of the shitty WHIMS of our dear president. I gotta be smart about my money and smart I shall be. Besides. All is not lost.

I have Skype.

Ahhhhhhhhh, Skype. Me loves me some Skype. Thanks to technology, we no longer have to simply imagine the expression on the faces of our furthest and dearest or the tones of their voices. I hope I'm alive to experience the day we get to climb into the screen and touch them. Or kiss them. And hug them. Or smell them. 'Cause these mofo's are playing games with the airfare prices. Then we'll see who's able to ruin our potential surprises thennn. We can just be like---------double tap to teleport--------MWAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Hehehehe!

I can dream, can't I?

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Adele - Hello

Adele - Hello JOE Thomas Cover

HIT THE STAGE, SLAYED THE DANCE...NOW I CAN SWALLOW!

It's Tuesday, which means Saturday is oVVVer!  And being on stage is oVVVer!!!  (Does the dance of joy)  It turned out great, by the way!  Crowd appreciated the efforts of the adult hip-hop class and once it was oVVVer?!  My heart slowlllllllly eased back down into my chest.  Throat was getting pretty crowded.  I'm never doing it again though.  It causes me hectic stress.  Hectic. Stress!  I'm not.  Okay, maybe I will but for the record?!  I won't like it!  Lol!  I'll only like that it's oVVVer!  Honestly?  I absofreakinlutely adore dance and I still can't even believe that I did any kinda anything on stage to begin with.  Eustece, my dance partner?  He couldn't understand that I've done it so many times but then I'm still looking for interesting ways to twist my ankle just before show day.  I told him, "I don't like that all eyes on me thing, I won't even do a routine that I'd learnt for my family."

But?!  Just shows that when you push yourself to do something, you actually can come out on the other side------almost choking on the most important muscle in your body and sweating golf balls!  But alive and actually proud of yourself for facing one of your worst fears………..only for it to remain-----------one of your worst fears!

Wait?!?!?  Did you guys see??  OMG!!!! O_#!  Yeah, my eye throbs just thinking about it!  About the exchange rate.  Our president fired the finance minister, one of the very few honest people in parliament and the Rand dropped like the punk that it is!  Apparently, DOING your job in that place?  That's simply unacceptable.  “You’re fired!!!!!!!!!”  “But sir?  I’ve been trying to curb unnecessary spending and trying to find ways of getting our country out of debt?  That’s what you employed me to do, isn’t it?”  “Yes!  But I didn’t mean that you must actually do what the hell I employed you for!  You’re just supposed to show up and fall asleep in parliament!”  “Huh!?”

Suddenly, after all of the anger over the weakening of the Rand?  President states the move was to promote him.  So now?  We have to spend almost R16, more with commission and fees, to get $1!  Meanwhile the Van Rooyen person that he replaced Nene with?  He replaced him too, after two days.  Like this………..only to reinstate one of the former finance ministers!

Joke!

I'd break out in a violent vomit fit if I have to mention the exchange to the Pound or the Euro.  (Head rests upon fingertips)  Let's just say, we gotta spend over eight thousand rand to get something like five hundred Euro's!

On the bright side?  I hear you whispering over there about, “Whatbrightsideyoutalkinboutwillis?!?!”  There’s always a bright side.  Look for it.  It’s there! 

My bright side?  Thank goodness this happened now and not some years back.  Long distance relationships, lemme be real------------aside from being emotionally draining because of the actual distance?  They can become financially exhausting preTTy quickly if you're the only one doing the overseas trip every year.  That part, I didn’t mind.  I love visiting the US and there’s just something about leaving the day to day routine behind, even for just a little while.  But when I went over to the US those three times during my long distance relationship?  I had to pay for two of the plane tickets and three trips worth of spending money.  >_<!  I think it’s safe to say that I’m now about R75,000.00 poorer for it.  

Would I do it again?  Nope.  That particular way, those particular circumstances?  I definitely wouldn't.  Because the harsh reality of it is that all that came out of those years is that I'm a little wiser but still R75,000.00 poorer.  Looking back, I'd rather be staring at the R75,000.00 in my bank account right now.  However, I WOULD do the long distance commuting thing again though, if the financial burden of the visits were not resting so heavily on my shoulders. 

    

So yeah, believe me when I tell you, after a few annual commutes, your bank account starts looking at you like, "I lost a helluva lota weight thanks to your stupid personal life!  Now what?”

DANCE......

WAS EPIC TONIGHT! I'm still beyond nervous for Saturdays show but boy do I love being in that studio with my dance fam! It brings happiness to my mind, body and soul!

Can't wait to get back there tomorrow!

Night? Hurry!

^_^!!!



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You Say Tomatoes, I Say No More Chutney

Was sitting on my bed last night.  Just listening.  Listening to the raindrops thrashing against the windows between the growling anger of the dark open sky while the occasional flash of lightning peeked invasively through the slits of my bedroom blinds. 

Can you see me?  Like can you imagine me? 

Or anyone.  A woman.  A blow-up doll, Cruz?  Anybody.....listening to the raindrops thrashing against the window between the growling anger of the dark open sky while the occasional flash of lightning peeks invasively through the slits of their bedroom blinds?  'Cause if you can't then Ima have to polish up on my scene setting attempts. 

Reminded me of just how much we take things for granted.  Until we don't have them anymore.  I'll be the first to admit.  I take olives for granted on purpose.  Just like I do these love handles of mine.  It's a conscious decision that I make on a daily basis and the mere fact that I have to make it on a daily basis should tell you that, some things like others, have a possessive streak in them that no amount of "for granted taking" will get them to leave you alone!

I'm pretty sure that I'm amongst the general public who've quickly ceased to complain whenever we step outside and have to then run like the devils chasing us to our cars in the hope that maybe twelve drops would get us as opposed to oh?  IIIII dunno------maybe none, if we used the umbrella that just lays motionless in the boot of our cars because lemme tell you.....tomatoes!?!  Are almost R20 per kg these days!  Chutney has now become a luxury.  The universe has gone to ruins peeeeeoplllle!  My son is so addicted to egg chutney, he even suggested adding it to the Christmas Day menu!  Well?  Now like Coloureds' prawns and crab once a year at Christmas time feast, he might very well get his wish!

I’ve never been one to enjoy the rain.  Gimme sunshine any day.  But reality has a way of forcing you to rethink your views.  And the reality right now is that farm animals are dying and so are the crops.  So ofcourse, it will affect the prices, like it or not.    

My mum has always said, "Always make sure you have onions, potatoes and tomatoes in your kitchen.  When times are tough, at least you're able to make CHUTNEY!  Or fried chips!  Or potato curry!" 

Hmmmmmmmpf! 

Meanwhile?!?  Back at the fruit and veggie store?  They're tryna make it a compulsory fresh produce purchasing ritual to have you standing there staring dreadfully at the chalked price board above the tomatoes thinking twice about heeding the words of our mothers.  And that's not cute.  'Cause then what?  The Ten Commandments mean nothing anymore?!  It didn't say "Honour your mother and father------------sometimes!"  It didn't say, ".......when the tomato prices allow!?!"  Did it?!? 

So there we stand, torn between breaking the budget to buy freakin’ tomatoes and regarding our mother's well intended advice while the powers that be watch us vegetable-needing fools through the camera's from their secret location up in the roof giggling about, "Come check it out, she’s thinking-----Chutney or no chutney....Bwaaa-ha-ha-ha-ha?"  I dunno what's worse!  Having to actually contemplate buying three instead of fifteen!!  Or?!?  Or!  Knowing that we cannnnn grow them ourselves but we're a little too lazy for that!

Even for that though, we'd still need the rain!  So?!?  I guess we've got some serious thinking to do.  About being thankful for what we have, when it actually matters and not simply when we’re well over the doorstep of a drought!  

Y’all have a good ol’ Tuesday, everybody!  Me?  I'm about to Google some recipe's that don't include tomatoes.

Clingy Coloureds

I've uncovered the mystery!

Dun, dun, dun, dunnnnnnnnn!!!!
Dun, dun, dun, dunnnnnn!!!!

I shall now resist the unmistakable urge to break out in a dance routine. I'm comfortable on this sofa. Although what I should be doing is rehearsing for the upcoming show in two weeks. But?!? I'm comfortable on this sofa. And extremely nervous about the show.

Meanwhile?!? My nephew gets married on the same day as the show right, so me?! Ya Rambler! And her cousin, Cindy, have to attend the ceremony, rush to the show venue, dance our lonnnng piece, five minutes is long when you're chronically shy and on a stage, and then head out to the wedding reception! Did I tell you that I'm nervous about the show? Yes! In case you missed it though, I'm nervous about the show! Actually, no I'm not! What I am is sweating freakin' bullets!

I know I'm being pretty mysterious about the mystery but bear with me. Y'all KNOW I'm easily sidetracked! Now?

Focus Rambler!

K, I'm focused! Lemme explain something to you. Coloured people? By Coloured people, I mean South African Coloured people. The pensioners?!! By pensioners, I mean our parents' generation? They're sneaky ol' peeps! And how do I know that? Well? 'Cause I'm slowly realizing that I'm becoming ona-a-them!

See? With my boy working with his dad for the holidays? It's just me and the dog.

One of my worst fears in life????????????????????????

Is growing old, alone, with a dog. Ehhhhhhh nope! It'd never be a cat. Uh-uhhhhh! I'm not a cat person. I wasn't a pet person either until Cruz! It's his eyes man! When I can see them, that is! They trick me into melting and he loves me so much and misses me and no matter how long I leave him home alone, he's still excited as hell to see me come home! How can I not love this little fellow? And then in the mornings when I'm relaxing before I leave and sitting on my phone? He will spring up next to me and literally pull my hand off of my phone with his paws and then rest them on my thigh.....like that! In the pic!

So now it's just him and I and I'm growing by the minute! We both are. But it's not affecting him! Nooooooooooh! It's not hissssss worst fear of his existence! It's mine. Lemme tell you about the sneakiness--------------Coloured parents? They're all about, "Stay home 'til you get married 'cause what you wanna waste money for? You could be saving! Getting your own place means buying fuuuuuurniture and fooooood and a washing machine! Electricity bills and what about the garden? You gonna clean it? Stay with us 'cause think about it?!? You come home from work and dinner's cooked, you're clothes are washed! Stay home."

And we! The Coloured offspring are blushing with the tip of our pointer fingers between our teeth like five year idiots swinging from side to side, thinking about how much we're treasured and then give into their sensible plea like, "That makes alota sense Ma, I think ima do that!" Especially as a female! Mo money mo clothing-------roooight?!

Righhhhhhht!

Meanwhile? I now know that's its less about saving money than it is about saving heartache! Their heartache! 'Cause right now, I feel heartsore! Lonely and heartsore and you know you've hit rock bottom when you begin talking to your dog! Who can't talk back except for bark bark. Who the fuck knows what he's saying?! Bark bark! Sometimes I bark back. (Shrug). Then he's probably the one asking himself, "What the fuck is she saying?" Maybe I'd feel better if I did know. We could become talking besties and he could give me tips on how to perfect my dance moves and wear matching chains or bandanas or something!

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