My late uncle was an alcoholic for many, mannnnny years! For most of his married life actually. No!!! No! NO. I'm not bashing family members. We all have our weaknesses. Mine? Is not olives! Yours? Might be licking paint off walls or something. To each his own I say, so....happy licking to ya! You would be able to tell immediately that my uncle was not of our generation because he died a married man. Not just on paper too. His wife, to this day, has never taken another man, neither has she ever spoken of him, derogatorily! Me? I shall live out the rest of my days in awe of the love she had for him as well as with the insistence that derogatorily can actually be found in a dictionary. Somewhere.
Just? Take my hand and follow me and I promise to lead you safely through the maze that somehow seems to form in the middle of my posts......to the reason that I said what I said!
Ready?
Okay, let's go.
Oo-oo-oooooo!!!? Talking about mazes? I happened upon....man I just love saying that, you know how some phrases change your accent automatically...even makes your nose look sharper when you say them. I? Happened! Upon this series called, Marriage Bootcamp, on tv! It was real. Reality real. Well as real as reality tv can get. Either way, they put these couples in this house and give them a buncha tasks in communication and leadership and teamwork and help them work through their relating issues and whatnot. I won't give too much away. Ignore that I just gave the series plot away BUT?!? Pretend I didn't and check it out if you can. I thought it was a pretty cool take on therapy for married couples as opposed to sitting for an hour in front of a therapist.
Personally? Not too sure that I'd want to be on a reality series of that sort. At least not publically but I wouldn't be opposed to doing something LIKE that with other couples say for like a week in the woods or something. No, not woods. Things crawl in the woods and not in a good way. They crawl looking for food. A resort! Yes, for a week at a resort! But without the cameras following us around.
Stop distracting me now, I'm tryna tell y'all a story.
My aunt went out to work, raised her children, despite the fact that her husband was drunk, daily. I guess she saw something in him that a lot of people either didn't or forgot about because underneath that alcoholic was a soft-hearted, beautiful, generous man.
I find that our generation, or most of us, are not real willing to work through the "worse" part of our vows but are right in there smiling through selfies during the "better" parts. They might give it a lil shot but the patience and perseverance of the older generation in marriages, has fallen off a high cliff. Matter of fact, the whole marriage concept seems to be degenerating because from what I observe from the generation after us? The very last thing that these mofo's are interested in, is getting married.
My uncle? Late in his life, had decided that it was time to change the way that he lived and once again, my aunt was right there beside him, supporting him, attending AA sessions with him, still being the wife to him that she'd promised to be.
He then bought this taxi, a yellow VW one, right. Like those hippie VW taxi's? ^_^!! Except with no daisies....! DRAT!!!! I will never forget that taxi because whenever I needed to go into the city and he would drive up to the bus stop and see me? He would call me, "Come mama!" And I would jump in and settle into my seat and then halfway through the journey, he would turn me into his assistant and have me collect the fares from everyone! Hahahahaha!
Taxi's had just then become a form of public transport for people. And by the time that he had passed away? He had grown his business to where he owned a fleet of taxis.
My point is this....we all have a past. That includes yesterday. Some parts of it, I'm sure we'd give anything to erase. I know I would. Dammmmmmmmm, would I!? I have this notion that we are the one's who give ourselves the hardest time about mistakes we've made. It's okay if it's propelling you forward. To do better. But if it's keeping you hemmed up in a place, stuck to one spot where you're so busy beating yourself up that it's crippling your future? Stop doing that.
Just like this quote I saw, "Your future is not tainted if your past has been. Every morning that you wake, is another chance to do better." It caused me to think about my uncle but what stands out for me is that he remained humble throughout his success. He was one of many taxi owners at the time but I didn't hear him comparing himself to them or talking about how he is better than they are. I never once heard him stroke his own ego by insulting other taxi owners. Those are the real winners right there. At least they are to me. There are people in this world who can't feel good about themselves unless they're degrading the next person. Unless they're belittling them like, "Look at me, look at me! Only I'm deserve admiration!" Whether in their profession or not. It's not only childish and braggish but it's ugly too.
Humility in success. Such a beautiful thing.
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