One Flew Outa the Cookoo's Nest...Well? Almost!

In just a week, my daughter will begin a new life, in a new place, surrounded by new people and I couldn't be more proud of her. I've spent the past weeks fighting back the tears, yessssss, yes, you already know this.......losing mostly but trying my damnedest to remember that this experience will be an extraordinary one for her. And a learning curve for me. Learning to live through the morning and evenings knowing that she's no longer under my roof. I can't say that it's going to be one that I'm gonna enjoy. Missing someone that you life for, never is.

Proud and heartbroken. That's honestly what I am. A good heartbroken, hahahhahaha! A happy heartbroken. As if there is such a thing. I guess you could say I've reached a milestone in my parenting life. I kinda forgot that as a parent, that happens too. Dammmmit! Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?!?!?

A-hem! Ummmmmmmmmm-woooooooooooooo-ummmmmmmmmmm-woooooooooooooo. A-deeeeeeeeep-getting-myself-in-order-breathing-exercise is currently underway....

It had to happen at some point, right? Your children generally don't stay with you forever, they grow up too. But d'you know what makes this eeeeven harder? Being a Coloured! Yes, I said, being a Coloured.

You'd relate if you're one of us. If you're one of us, you know exactly what I'm about to say. Uh-huh. Us Coloureds have this possessive habit of trying to hold onto our children and needing to have them up in our faces 'til we're alllll old and grey but.......

OMG! Wait, I gotta show you this.....there ya go, had to snap that, let me just...lemme just attach this pic.....meanwhile, he's fast asleep! LIKE THAT! Exposed balls, twisted up like a pretzel, tongue peeping outa his mouth! Hahahahahahhaha! SMDH! Men, I telya! That's probably how some of you women look on your honeymoon night too, huh!? Excluding the balls, ofcourse. Unless?! Unless, you kept that a surprise! Hehehehe!

Yeah but times are a-changing and we simply have to adapt, don't we? No, we don't. I mean, yes, we do! Easier said than done, though. I will now understand in it's entirety, how my mum felt when she walked into my empty room once I'd gotten married. The difference here is that my baby won't be just five minutes away. Even if I swim fast, LOL!

Annnnnnnnnnnnnd? This post is about to end 'cause ay, I really can't think about this for very long.

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Just a phase

When did we even get here?
Lying in the same bed, feeling anything but near
It's as though our emotions have packed up and gone
Present in body only and the rest of us somewhere far

I'm not sayin' anything you're not already thinkin', I'm sure
But baby, staying silent to avoid the pain only hurts more
Maybe we should consider going our separate ways
We won't be the first to have confused love with what was just a phase

You gotta admit that this emotional distance is crippling
And I've been through too much to stay some place unfulfilling
I know you have too, that's why I'd rather we cut our losses
I'd rather we part than keep looking at this through rose-coloured glasses

We don't have to be like the others, we don't have to wait to feel that resentment
That's usually where the heart heads when emptiness replaces contentment
Both secretly unhappy but too afraid to make the first move
But should we fear living our lives and the point it'd prove?

If I thought there was anything left worth fighting for it'd be different
The years we've spent together somehow don't feel relevant
At least not enough to drift through another ten or even twenty
And then look back and hate on the fact that we missed out on plenty

By (c) 2015 Stacey Kell
2015.03.18

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Imbecile's Asses!

http://mgafrica.com/article/2015-03-12-south-african-tv-crew-gets-mugged-live-on-camera

I know I’m late on a ramble about this.  I had to get myself in order.  My mind kept repeating these words…what kinda imbecile’s ass MUST YOU BE?!?!  To mug a reporter on live tv?  If at any point, you saw me walk by you since this happened and I appeared dazed and confused?  That woulda been why.

Meanwhile…and peep this…there is a R100,000.00 reward for ANY INFORMATION leading to their arrest!  HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!!!!! 

Blink.  Blink.  (With the cartoon sound) 

Turns out that we’re the only imbecile’s asses around here since it’s our money that’s going to be paying either one of these fools when they get wind of that reward.  I’m sorry, but?  I’m not very  confident in their loyalty to each other.  And I might be wrong, but it looked to me like they really (cough) needed money.  Poor things.  R100,000.00 will bring out the rat in anyone who can go ahead and rob a reporter and his crew for cellphones and laptops. 

I’ve been doing my utmost to imagine what their parents’ reaction to this was.  I did.  Because I’m imaginary…no I’m not imaginary, because I’m imaginated… the hell is imaginated?!?!?  Sound like an imbecile’s ass.  Because.  I.  am.  Here we go.  Imaginative.  I’m pReTTy sure that when they saw this on the news, at least ONE of their dad’s turned to his wife and asked, “Mabel.  Did we really make that?”  And out of sheer terror in the realization that it was from her now very embarrassed vagina, (it happens, vagina’s get embarrassed sometimes).  Hers had to be so embarrassed about a moron of this caliber having escaped it, that she swore then and there, never to have rrreLLLations again.  To sew it F UP!  With gut!

I say escaped because had she known, I’d bet my cellulite that she’d have clenched so damn hard tryna keep him IN that her cervix woulda cracked!  CUUURACK!!!  She owed it to Africa to have clenched and cracked.  I’m just sayinnnn, and let it be a lesson to moron makers of the future.  It was just irresponsible.  More thought and consideration ought to have been put into going allllll the way on that birthing bed because we?  We don’t deserve this.  I mean I know there’s no comparison because you have to look at them daily and think, “You stupid f&%$#er, I wish there was a way I could shove you back up my birthing canal…” but you can’t.  What’s done is done.  Learn from it.  It’s just…we can’t keep giving up R100,000.00 for the lack of clenching on Mabel’s part.

For me?  1 + 1 will always equal 2.  Everything is just as it should be when you have a buncha circus freaks controlling shit!  Uhhh-huh.  Nod with me now.  Now let’s all say it together;

It

Very

Quickly gets real.  Shit, I mean.  Yup!  For-AHEM-for reporters and their crews.  >_<!  How in the world did they not see the camera light and lens pointing straight at them?  And then?  And then, they’re parading back and forth like runway models in full view of whomever was watching…not one single policeman, clearly, since they need any information that could lead up to their arrests.  Here’s what they were probably doing. 

This video?  I watched in shock.  Frankly, I’m shocked that I was shocked and I’m tempted to say that I’ve now seen it all but you and I both know that we can’t draw lines in the sand of that sort with our current president still in power.  I blame him for this.

I’m still at a loss as how mr. president…no!  No, I shall not!  I am not wasting capital letters!  WTF!?!?!  You save those for when you’re showing respect or-or-or trying to pass an exam.  Right now, I’m stubbornly doing neither but I’m still tryna figure out how he can’t communicate six figure numbers in televised speeches yet he can so easily steal so many from us.  Told you, we’re the imbecile’s asses ‘round here.  But there’s NO mention of “six million three forty four seventy hundred cents” and alla that shit then, is there?  Not when the calculations are in is favour!

Something’s amiss, my fair land of South Africa.  Something’s af^%$#nmiss here and we’re the fools bearing the brunt of brilliant stupidity!

Tell Me Why

Tell me why this love came when it did
And when you find it'll all makes sense...
They said
They lied
Ohhhh, ohhh why....?

I need you to be standing here
So I can touch you for it to feel real
I'm just so tired of... hanging on to memories
Make it real, come to me,
But if you can't....then tell me

Tell me why this love came when it did
And when you find it'll all makes sense...
They said
They lied
Ohhhh, ohh why....?

I only have this one wish
That's to stop missin you, I can't breath
I go to sleep trying, I'm crying
Stop these tears, I'm dying
But if you can't....how am I s'posed to feel?

I saw it in your eyes, a look that shoulda made you stay
But life had its own plans and couldn't make a way
Got me lying here feenin for your love,
I need you, tell me
Somebody tell me

Tell me why this love came when it did
And when you find it'll all makes sense...
They said
They lied
Ohhhh, ohh...tell me why....?

Tell me why this love came when it did
And when you find it'll all makes sense...
They said
They lied
Ohhhh, ohh...tell me why....?


(C) 2015 Stacey Kell
2015 March 8
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