Formicophilia, my ANT!

I just read on some weird and interesting facts site that “ 'Formicophilia' is the fetish for having small insects crawl on your genitals.”  It caused me to inhale very deeply.  And cough.  Even though you can’t tell, I’ve stopped typing……………………………………. ……………………….instead I’ve stared laboriously out of my office window…………………. …………………desperately needing to evade those words ………………………. o_O  ……….   ………………………………………. Stared at the silent telephone to the left of my computer ………………mentally pleading for a distraction….. O_O …………………………..………….. ………………………..… ……………………….………………………………………………….. O_o …………………… just…A LOT.  Of staring, needing and pleading.  I will never look at an ant the same again.  Never really wanted to look at an ant in the first place, but now, each time I flick one or squish one, I’ll have this vision in my mind about it crawling.  They generally don’t walk up straight, I know…I know that but this has single-handedly ruined my disinterest in looking at ants altogether.  This?  THIS is how fetish gets a bad name. 

I’m gonna change the subject to the one I saw about a boy who had a tooth growing out of his foot rather.  Wait?  A tooth is meant to grow out of a gum, not plain ol’ flesh, isn’t it?  So this poor boy had a small piece of gum on his foot where the tooth grew out of?  Annnnnnd…back to the staring out of windows………………………………all I can hear is…………. “Simon!  Go brush your foot!  You’re gonna be late for school!”  Uhm-m!  Uhmmmmmm-m! 

Someone’s tryna pull my leg that is attached to my toothless foot!  I’m not buying any of this.  I’m not buying how someone can sit still through a mass of small insects crawling on their sensitive parts, and neither am I buying that the whole tooth growing out of the foot thing.  Won't he have a footooth-ache every time he tries to wear shoes? 

I think people sit and make this stuff up solely out of boredom.  Just like they sit and send out emails about how I won millions of pounds in the Yahoo draw.  Clearly the same person has come up with all of this.  I see that pattern of their inability-ness to make a story believable! 

Wow!  It just hit me too.  This bored little soul might also be trying to fill up the empty hours of each day as he/she waits expectantly for WHAM to respond to them.