Outa the Box

Wrote this thinking about the fact that sometimes we really don't see what's been or who's been in front of us all along. Sometimes we actually do but because it doesn't fit the picture of how we've always imagined life or love to be, we pass it up, trying to create that perfect imagery and wonder why at the end of it, it's back to the imaginary drawing board. These little boxes that we've built to live in can be what prevents us from being our happiest. It sometimes takes just one decision, one decision to punch through the boxes and then discover a whole new sense of existence. Here's to what and who I've always known to be my missing piece.


U R Me

If I had to put together the perfect man from scratch
He'd have your heart, your soul, every thread of hair would match
Your smile he would smile, the same eyes through which you see me
I'd mould him into your likeness so that he'd fit me completely

To me you're the truth I never thought I'd be told
A movie about purity I keep watching, never gets old
You're the warmest sweater I have hanging in my closet
I'm so in love with the way you're my favourite place to visit

If I could I'd switch places with you for just a few minutes
That's all the time that you'd need to be convinced
To feel how in every existing way it is that you fill me
How no matter what comes or goes, to me, you mean eternity

I've never been able to reach this level of elation
That tells me that every step I ever took were steps in your direction
I believe in this bond, I believe in the feelings that you inspire
I've always dreamed of being linked to a love I knew would never expire

I'm thinking I musta done something right, eventu-ally
'Cause you came like this gift, wrapped just for me
One that I get to open, over and over, on the daily
And then listen to it whisper three words, "U R Me"

By (c) 2015 Stacey Kell
2015.02.27



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Positive Vibes

I watched the documentary called, The Secret, which is, The Law of Attraction, day before yesterday. Interesting indeeeeed. I'd recommend everyone and their aunts to watch it or if you're not into watching things, to read the book.

So I'm sitting there and they're talking and I'm listening. I was eating popcorn too so I really set the mood and everything! Thas how I roll! Well, I-I----sat with the popcorn, I'm not tryna choke or nothing, but I roll like that, ya know. And I'm listening and they're talking and they're talking and I go, "AH-HA!!!! That's #@*?!@!# why it used to be THAT way!" Ya Rambler sat up straighter, clutching the popcorn bowl! It used to be one of those delicious indian melting biscuit canisters. I turned it into a popcorn bowl by removing the lid. I shoulda patented that idea but I was thinking about paperwork at the time.

At this stage, I'm crunching that popcorn with a passion I telya! For some reason it tastes that much better when you're fascinated. 'Cause now my adrenalin's pumping right and I'm remembering this, this and that and a mixture of epiphany's and realisations are flying left, right and centre, knocking mosquito's over and shit! You really shoulda been there!

One thing stood out for me while I continued to watch. When I chose to surround myself by the doom and gloom kinda company, including my own, it was almost all that I was experiencing in my life. One thing after another but once I chose to rid my life of the negativity that kept coming at me through my thoughts and through my words and the words of people that I intentionally and really just stubbornly kept close to me? Now that I've made better choices as far as the company that I keep, including my own? Evvvvvvvvverything has changed.

I don't think I've ever felt this content and excited, even with everything NOT YET exactly the way that I want it to be, the happiness that I feel absolutely outweighs any misplaced parts of my life's plan. And it helps too that I now understand that my life is a current work in progress....^_^!

More and more I'm starting to see that it has taken a direction of growth and being a lot more honest with myself, more than anything else where when I reflect on what it was like some years ago----where I was emotionally and psychologically? I'm like, "DaaaaaaaaaaaYaaaaaaaaaam, Rambler!" I'm constantly learning and accepting but what I've learnt most to do is relax. I'm not the stress bag that I used to be, feeling inside as if I'm this headless chicken running WILD, crashing into walls everytime a challenging situation arose. Naaaaaah! I'm surfing those waves with a smile on my face, confident that everything will work out for the best. It helps.

Life feels so much calmer when you learn to relax and instead of looking for the doom in a situation, look for the lesson and teach it after everything is said and done. There are so many out there dealing with the same or similar that could use your words of encouragement. Don't be selfish with the words of encouragement. Words of encouragement are good. Like chocolate. I couldn't have even begun to experience any of that had I not cut the ropes of negative influence and presence in my life.

Even just leading up to watching this documentary, in retrospect, I can visualize myself walking up to this door, ya know? Do you----do you know? What I'm saying?

And this is what this documentary basically teaches. It teaches a conditioning of the mind towards positive thought, positive words, positive reflection, you know? Negativity breeds negativity, positivity breeds positivity. Yeah. And the gratitude for what you have right now and for what's to come, belief in what you desire being fulfilled simply by asking for it and then focusing your mind on living daily as if you already have all that you desire. Conditioning it so that you don't give life and power to the struggle in a situation.

See? See what I'm saying? That last sentence alone! That was deep----ish!

My kids are doing great! My relationship with my family is way, wayyyyyyyy better than it has been over the past years! I'm gonna give credit where credit is due and that's to forgiveness. It's made all of the difference but I know with all certainty that if I didn't make the choices that I've made? I wouldn't have been able to. Or more truthfully, I wouldn't have been allowed to until I put myself in a position to allow myself to. Forgiving doesn't eliminate the memories, ofcourse but even so, the most important part of that is that the grudges that one holds onto, the part that was crippling you, is released. Besides, not forgetting keeps you aware.

I'm now in a relationship that feels like a Godsend in my life. Every day feels like a magical place to live. This is what I feel as though I'd been preparing for, growing for, changing for. There's a quote I've happened upon that read, "One day you will meet someone who makes you see why it didn't work out with anybody else."

I finally have the answer that I've been looking for, for aggggggges. "Is this all that there is...?" Well? The answer was, "Nope..." And if you're asking yourself that very same question, be patient and instead, tell yourself, "I really can't wait to enjoy all of the wonderfully DESERVING things that life still has in store for me!"

So all in all, I do agree with what this documentary teaches. Being positive has changed my life for the BEST! With all of that said? Ya Rambler has a full day at the office tomorrow which means she's gotta hit the sack in a few!

Ramble Responsibly while I'm away, okay?
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My Valentines Day Surprise

CUZ I'm HAPPPPPPPPY! CLAP ALONG IF YOU FEE-EEL LIKE A ROOM WITHOUT A ROO-OOF! CUZ I'm HAPPPPPPPPY!

Sighhhhhhhh! That was such a beautifully loving, sigh right there.

My babylove sweetly went behind my back and planned this surprise with my daughter and my cousin for me for Valentines Day! And I wondered what was up, 'cause she kept asking have you talked to him, is he awake, where's he. They get along like a house on fire. But HE! Doesn't live in South Africa.

So, we're skyping today like we often do and my buzzer goes off and I can't for the life of me imagine who it could be because I wasn't expecting anybody. My daughter goes flying down my driveway so I go back to the computer and say, "Aaaah, must be Linds (her sister-cousin)." He casually let's me believe that until my daughter comes into my room with these two absolutely stunning bouquets and a huge card, smiling as if she just met Santa in Summer! I'm like, "Wowwww, who sent you those?!?"

She gleams at him on the computer screen, he's gleaming back at her, she says, "They're for you, from him!" Now I'm gleaming, he's gleaming, she's gleaming, we're just up on there having a gleamfest on skype, and I'm just floored, I didn't see that coming. AT ALL!

There are these gorgeous deep pink daisies and baby pink roses in the one bouquet and these deep red roses in the other, just! Just! Beautiful! I was dreading Valentine's Day being here and him being there, he knew that and I look at him and he says, "Happy Valentines Day, baby."

I could have exploded with emotion, right on that bed! I'd still be gleaming though! A gleaming explosion, is what I woulda been! I still haven't stopped smiling. Ya Rambler is floating on Cloud 99999999999999999999 right now. My Valentine is theee best ever, he's just everything and I've never been happier. This man has given me a new lease on life in every single way possible!

I needed to share this with all of you, if I could shout it out to the world I would because his effort and his time and his thought and his love, he put into making sure that I didn't have the "I'd rather sleep through it" Valentines Day that I was imagining. He showed me today. And THAT'S how you love a person. You show it, not say it. But then, he always does, in one way or another.

Happy Valentines Day everybody! I wish for you, a memorable day just like this. I know I'll never forget this one! I plan on book pressing every single flower in those bouquets so that today can last for a lifetime, hahahahhaahahaha!

Thank you too, to Santa's silent helpers! This means everything to me.

XOXOXO!
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Video Coverage of the #SONA2015 Dramafest

Here you go....


http://www.enca.com/south-africa/eff-disrupts-sona-ordered-leave-parliament

#SONA2015 Disgrace of the Nation

I'm speechless!
The State of the Nation address tonight, well...what I could stomach to watch that is, was funny to say the least, wasn't it? And not in a HAHAHAHA kinda way. Noooooh, no ne-ooooh. More like in a, "Funny how they didn't see that coming from the EFF and us little people could!" kinda way.
My mum had called me to see how I was doing earlier and she was beyond excited about it! I was sitting there watching it and thinking, "You did say 'I'm just waiting for it to see what mad acts are gonna go on.'" That was after I said, "I'm not watching it, that foolishness is just gonna make me angry!"
It worked! I'll give our South African government this much though. That buncha "I've run our of names", they never disappoint! Not when it comes to turning our beautiful country into a three-ring circus.
Right now we don't have electricity on a continuous basis, yet we have this arrogance. We don't have security on any basis, yet we have this arrogance. We don't have hygienic government hospitals, yet we have this arrogance. We don't have desks and chairs and textbooks in certain government schools, yet we have this arrogance.
Appalling, and that's putting it mildly. I say arrogance because if our government genuinely cared about this country, they would recognise that they are hardly equipped to run it yet they refuse to admit it but what they are more than willing to do is blame a government structure that was last in power, 21 years ago! That's arrogance of the worst kind.
If you're reading this, you must have internet access and if you have internet access, I dare you to go and look up the video's of what went down tonight in parliament. Needless to say? After the drama....and something as simple as this....When the President was introducing his special guests, whoooo-hooooo, how nice, and referred to our Miss World, as Ronell Strauss and not Rolene? I got up and walked out! JUST like the DA did after Madam Speaker #2 took us all on a TOTALLY UNNECESSARY roller coaster ride just to get a simple answer from the question, "Were those the SAPS or were those the parliamentary security that came in to remove the EFF!"
D'you know what came to mind? When a kid presses their lips together so hard that you can't even hope or threaten to get one drop of their antibiotic into their mouth! Or when you're eating a sandwich next to your son and think to yourself, "He will like this." And you're like, "Damo, taste this...." While lovingly shoving the slice of your sandwich so close to his face that crumbs are falling on his eyeballs.
And then;
Damon: "No thanks, Ma."
The mother (just because I named him my son's name, doesn't make the mother, m(cough)e): "Just taste it, you will like it."
Damon, eyeing the lettuce: "Nooooh, Ma, I don't want. I just ate."
The mother: "Damon?!?! I'm ordering you! Just a smalllllll bite! Taste iT!"
Damon, appearing slightly confused at the mother's insistence, puts distance between himself and the slice of bread: "M-mmmmmm, how Ma?"
The mother, with pursed lips begins to speak without separating her top row of teeth from her bottom: "J------Jus------JUST taste it! A small bite! You will LIKE it!"
Damon relents and opens his mouth jusssssssssst enough for a minute bite."
The mother watches his reaction!
Damon stares at the rest of the sandwich.
The mother: "See?!?"
Damon: "Can I have another bite please?"
She would not answer that question for NOTHING!!! Until she was felt the breadcrumbs in eyeballs! Until she realized that they were not gonna stop asking that question! Only then, after all of the pointless round-and-round-the-merry-go-round vomit she kept spewing out, she then decided to be arrogant enough to say that she couldn't pick out who is SAPS and who wasn't. Arrogance! That's when the DA walked out. I bet I know what was in their minds at that point but freedom of speech will not allow me to divulge.
Anyhoo.....Shuffle, shuffle, shuffle. Out they go. Meanwhile back on the presidents face? Not a damn thing is happening! His mouth did not open! I guess when it all comes down to it, one cannot demand the respect that they don't deserve and I couldn't help wondering if something like this would ever happen when Nelson Mandela spoke, when Obama spoke?
The man sat silent amidst all of these top class performances. And if he did speak, it might have been during my trip to "WTF hell goes on in this place I call home?!?!" We've all been there so-so you know very well how distracting that journey is.
I didn't watch any further so I can't responsibly ramble about what followed. Most of my stitches came out today, I'm just not tryna bust open my wounds due to frustration. I refuse to put myself in any kinda danger over this bullllllsh!t! Watching the parts that I did watch were already threatening the little bit of sanity that I have left.

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