This is it for me. I have my "Peace, Love, Music and Happiness" symbol now and that's all I've ever wanted. Both as a tattoo and a way of life! I now have all of those in more ways that I could have ever imagined. And the further away that I get from the way that I've spent the last four or five years of my life, the better it feels.
I've said it before and I'll say it again. When you give up your own and agree to live according to the ideals and expectations of those who want nothing other than to turn you into an ugly, bitter person? Because that's the way that they have always lived their lives? Ofcourse it becomes their natural way of existing. It's just not and never will be yours.
Try it. I dare you. And when you return to your own self, because you always will. Who you are can only be changed temporarily. After a while, you feel your own absence. I'll be standing right HERE to say, "There, there my brave friend. It was an experience, wasn't it? I've been there and now so have you! Go out there and let everybody know this.......".
When you feel as though you have nothing left. Nobody left. And someone happens to pass by you with seemingly the right words and seemingly your best interests at heart but then in exchange for all of that "right" you have to agree to be remolded? And then you do???!?!
Eh!
You will never EVER find peace. You will never EVER be happy. You will never EVER dance to your own tune. And whatever it was that you believed that that passer-by was offering you? That will never EVER be love. Well, unless love isn't meant to be freeing, but binding. Unless love is not meant to be beautiful, but quick to blame. Unless love is not meant to be encouraging, but derogatory. If that's what love was meant to be. Then you just hit the jackpot! Right?!? Right?!? Uhhhhhhhhhh...No. Not right.
Because what I know about love? Just...it's just not all of those things. So be very careful when you're searching for it. Anything can feel like everything when feel like you have nothing. But it very well could be in the wrong place. Me? I've seen both sides of love. The wrong place love and the right place love. And the difference between the two might not be obvious from the start but be sure, it will show itself.
For right now? I can't tell you what comes next. A scab. I guess. At least that's what the tattoo putter told me.
Sent via my BlackBerry from Vodacom - let your email find you!
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