NOT!
-_-
Not exciting, I mean. Not to me, I mean! You wouldn't catch me running NO.WHERE! Unless I'm being chased and normally I'm in my car so I'll say it again. You wouldn't catch me running NO.WHERE. Well, unless I'm walking to Noddy's with Bubs and a dog starts acting clever. Then maybe.
D'you wanna know what I remember most about primary school aside from being petrified of my needlework teacher? And playing sick when it came to sports trials? And what 'bout those cup ice-blocks we used to buy for 10c on our way home? Huuuuh?! The B.O.M.B! And seeing Betty standing outside my classroom door with an umbrella for me because it started raining? God Bless her precious soul for loving me when she didn't have to!
Ofcourse, those were nothing like my memories of standing in the line sweating bullets on vaccination day for injections that left a circle of holes on my arm, which I still have by the way....praying to God that if He could just take me before my turn came, that I'd be forever grateful for his Favour! I-I know what you might be saying to yourself, "Dammmmn, she that scared of needles?!?" To that, I say, "Yeahhhhhh," sigh. "I-I'd rather be dead."
But aside from sommme beautiful and other somewhat traumatic memories of my earlier days, I remember this! Knowledge is Power! That was the motto at my Primary School. Principal whats-his-name would be real proud. Mannnnn, what WAS his name? Nnnnnnnnnnnn, >_<! You know when the answer's on the tip of your tongue? Just waiting for you to think about or do something totally unrelated, and then suddenly it falls straight outa your mouth like when you're eating a peanut butter and jam sandwich and you suddenly yell out, "APPLE CIDER VINEGAR!!!" Well? It's not one of those times. That name isn't making a guest appearance even on my epiglottis.
From my later years...like now...I remember this! Experience is the best teacher! That's what Dave constantly tells me! And I believe him too. Boy! Have I had some experiences that have taught me a thing or ten! But that's life, isn't it! Living and learning. Yep! We learn something new everyday. Like yesterday? I learned that no matter how old I get, I'll never warm up to the idea of a dentist visit. Nevermind that the pain has now reached the side of my right eyeball even as I type this...IIIIIIIIII dunno. Still not convinced that the time to make that appointment is now. I'm hoping that my teeth are just in a bad mood 'cause it's Winter or something. So, I'll wait for the season change and then decide.
Right now though, I turn my attention over to you, you brave athletes you! There's no need for me to pussyfoot, I'm here to urge you...to encourage you...to learn from the past experiences of previous runners. In particular, those that were robbed DURING the race. Lucky for us. Well? For all intents and purposes, for you! There's no rule that states that we should only learn from our own experiences! Let's be real. We all know that they'll be hiding in bushes just waiting to strip you of your Nike runners! So there! Now we have the knowledge. Now we can be powerful. I dunno why I keep saying we. I won't be there. You! You be powerful!
I have two words. Super. Glue! First the socks to your feet, then the runners to the socks. Hold on a minute before you knock my solution. Don-don't knock it 'til you try it. Yes, I've resorted to cliche's. That's because I'm desperate to save YOUR shoes. Hey look? You might wonder about, "Ohhhh, then how'm I gonna get them off me when I'm finished the race?" Or "What if my feet catch alight while I'm running down Field's Hill, from the glue and friction." I will admit, those are valid enough questions. But wait. Ask yourself this. Do you wanna finish the race with or without your shoes?!? Hmmmmmmm? Hmmmmmm? If so? Shouldn't THAT be more important than whether or not your feet could be charred to a crisp! Because the thing that really matters here is that you will be making a point to the bush robbers! And that point will be...(it's okay, I'll think of everything.)
The point will be..........
I know what you're about and I've done something to prevent it! Yes, you're saying that to the runner robbers. Without words. Granted that their day won't end with them possibly setting themselves on fire...that's okay but then again neither you nor I know what their favourite past-times are. So, at this point, it's purely an assumption. What matters is...you would have made your point!
Sent via my BlackBerry from Vodacom - let your email find you!
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