A-hem!
Dramatic entrances aside....
Helllllo YOU! And YOU and YOUUUU! Here's a smile to brighten up your day! ^_^! 'Cause I've missed you! And and and? It's a public holiday on Monday! If you have work on Monday? I'm sorry, but Na, na-na, na, naaaaaa!
I might as well come clean about why I've been AWOL of late. See, this is what happened, and it's pretty simple, realllllly. Nothing too complicated or difficult to understand, y'know? Truth is....I can't find me thumbs...so sad...like this :-( Me thumbs have gone amiss! And it's all Summer's fault! This is her, "Staceeeeeeeey? Can you take your thummmmmmbs off for me, pleeeeeease?" Ruthlessly too, even if I'm eating. Or drinking tea. Travesty-ish!
I can do that too. Without having alien DNA. And lemme not mislead you. I can PRETEND to do that. Convincingly so. If you're under ten. Me? I'm her Godmother, so I'm not allowed to say no to most things. It's a Godparent rule to say yes when your beautiful Godchild asks you to detach parts of your body that are vital for blogging. Or holding your mug of tea. SMH! Tea is extremely important to me. If you invented it? Bless your soul. And if you didn't? Bless your soul, too. Maybe that Blessing will inspire you to invent something else I can't live without!
Plus? When her eyes get all big and wondrous? Awwwww man, the sugar lump! "HOW DO YOU DO THAAAAT?" It's the cutest thing eVer! Who wouldn't risk losing their thumbs for that?
So, yeah! That's precisely what happened.
P-precisely.
O_o!
Okay, the glares of disbelief are totally ruining my story. Stop it! You don't even KNOW that it's not true. And I know what you're thinking too. Without being a mind reader. I can do lots of things without having the things you need to do those things. Gifted or mentally disturbed. I'm still deciding. I just have to Ohhhhhhmmmmmmmmmm....Ohhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmm...and it comes to me. You're saying to yourself, "Liar!" Too harsh? K, let's try again! Sometimes it takes more than one Ohhhhhhmmmmmmmmmm.... ohhhhhhmmmmmmmmm.....
You're saying to yourself....?
Rambler? Come-on? Losing your thumbs is as believable as us looking at our television, seeing words scurrying across the screen, that say, "BREAAAAAAKING NEWS: A CERTAIN PERSON (I WON'T MENTION NAMES) HAS STEPPED DOWN FROM HIS POSITION AS SOUTH AFRICA'S PRESIDENT DUE TO OPEN-HIS-MOUTH-AND-CURRENCY-DROPS SYNDROME!"
Ay, don't look all skewed at me. I just report the news as I hear it. Not sitting here, sucking things outa my---my thumbs. I don't even HAVE thumbs! I told you, p-precisely, how I lost them.
All I know is that the day he gave a speech about the labour unrest here? POOF! We suddenly had to pay over ten Rands for one Dollar. It's no fun being South African when the odd's are ten to one, out of your favour! Odds that can easily be translated from currency to how many possibilities there are of you being hijacked on your way to somewhere, in one day! Meanwhile? Now he's like, "Don't blame me for the dip in the Rand!" Eh! I know it wasn't me.
I'd bite my tongue in twelve different places if I told you how much one Pound now costs us! So I'm not. We have a barbecue at work today and I need my tongue to eat. Besides, I'm not the one who should be biting my tongue anyway. Then again, maybe I am. (Shrug) Just not today.
On a serious note though, I've been tied up in my sons exams and just had a lota other stuff going on over this pass month or two and because of some of that stuff? I've totally lost any and all inspiration I had to write. The post that you're reading right now? Took me three days to finish! Hor-rible! The barbecue? Is long-time over. But?!? The good thing is that I AM trying. Struggling, but trying. No matter how long it's taken me? At the end of this earnest attempt, I'll have posted SOMETHING on a blog that means a whole lot to me.
Close your eyes and picture this. Picture how, as a writer, or wait! Lemme say it right, aspiring, writer. You're at your creative best. Your head feels like it's gonna explode if you don't either put a pen to paper or type out your thoughts. Idea's are flowing through your mind like a river. The Nile River. Well?
Unpicture it.
My head was a dam. My mind was dam wall. My creative idea's? They were like the fish. Trapped to a standstill! And that, my friends! Is one disadvantage of water energy, aka, hydro-electric power! (-__- There she goes again!) I heard that. Shhhhhhhhhhh, knowledge is power! It's that it traps fish. In dams. Poor disadvantaged things. Their one and only mode of transport is to swim freely and then BAMMMMMMMMMM! Smooching concrete, thinking, "URRRRGH! MF@*#.?/ DAM WALL!"
Wait? So, if a few of them manage to find a hole in the dam wall? And swim through into the vast, open, free ocean waters? Does that make them previously-disadvantaged fish? Hmmmmmmm?
I shall leave you with THAT thought on which to ponder and if you were the unfortunate recipient of my na, na-na, na, naaaaaaa? An excuse to get out of work on Monday.
It's time for me to love and leave you! My eyes are jussssssst about closing. But I will be back! You're not getting rid of me that easily. Oh oh oh! And if I don't see you before Sunday, Happy Father's Day!
Ramble Responsibly, ^_^!!!
Sent via my BlackBerry from Vodacom - let your email find you!
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