Bilingual Much...?

It wouldn't be a visit from my beloved big sister if she didn't ask me, "Are you on i-tube?"  O_o! Haaaaaaaaahahahahhaha!  I love her so much!  And then tried to redeem herself by insisting that she meant to say i-tunes. LOL!  I heard no sssssssss!  Meanwhile?  She knows full well that we're all very much aware of her social media skills.  

And by that I mean, total lack of.....her head is too full of work information.  No, true.  She's brilliant at her job and I'm starting to believe her when she says that she does just let loose when she's around us and simply enjoys, us, enjoying her silly side!  

By now Sharde' and Paige, our daughters?  Created a Facebook profile for her, invited the family and everything.  So you know how it is when people start accepting invites and stuff?  In typical, my sister, fashion?  Girl was about to start replying to notifications!  Thank goodness my niece caught her in time.  "I'm getting emails and emails from everyone?!?"

Pssssssssst...she meant she was getting notifications of being accepted as a contact or a relative!  I don't think that it hit her that they were all saying the same thing, like "(Insert Name) accepted your Facebook invitation..."  

Oooooooooo-wooooooooooh!  I shudder.  

If she was left to her own social media devices?  Facebook, I'm sure, woulda banned her by now and then sent her name to all and every other network with a huge flashing red note, "SUSPEND ACCOUNT UPON CREATION!"  

I cringe when I think about what both Facebook and her contacts are gonna be in for once she learns how to update her status.  Learns?  A-HEM!  Hmmmmmmmmmm?  Shown, rather.  I can see it now.  "But I thought that's where you search for people?"  That's after someone calls her up and asks, "Why do you have so-and-so's name as your status so many times?"  

Do any of you Remember her Christmas broadcast?  The BILINGUAL one she sent to the whole family?  I think it even sobered up our drunk relatives.  I'm willing to bet the cellulite on both my thighs that her phone is still defaulted to predictive text, so don't be shocked if you need to download a translation application to decipher her updates.  And don't say I didn't give y'all the heads up, either!

I can see it now.  Come.  Come see it with me...it's a quiet morning at the office.  You're boss is out to a meeting so you do what any person, aside from my sister, would do in those circumstances.  Work.  

Heh-heh-heh-heh!!  Not!

You log onto Facebook!  Thaaaaaaat's it.  The truth shall set you free.  So, you're relaaaaxed, log in, check for red flags.  New messagessssss.  Delete people, if you're nasty like that.  And finalllly?  It's time to scroll through your news feeds.  You can't be having a more stress free day until you see....

"Hey familia! How's everyone dobraye? (doing)" 

She's all chuffed about having successfully statused and while she's listening to her new favourite song, Beautiful by Miguel and Mariah Carey?  She wonders why it's taking a teeeeeeeny bit of time for one of them to comment.  

Meeeeeeeanwhile?  Like her Christmas message?  She didn't bother reading it before she hit send!  On the other side of her computer screen?  After they've craned themselves up off the floor from laughing so hard!  Her South African contacts are scrambling to google the word "dobraye".  However?  Out in Russia?  They know exactly what that word means! 

It's rather sinful that I'm not on Facebook anymore.  I just know how much fun I'm gonna be missing once she gets going!  Haaaaaahahahahhaha!