Needless to say?!! Emotionally, I was just not geared up to return to work yesterday. I considered sending my boss a text, asking, "Please can my emotions have another week off?" Ofcourse, I didn't actually believe...well not for too long at least...that he'd go for that. I know that if I were him? I woulda returned my text and told me to leave them at home. Make sure they get lots of rest, and then remind me that work begins promptly at 8am.
Today, however? Emotions aside. And I mean that. They've sidestepped! Not because they'd realized that without a choice, they'd better come along?!? Noooooooooh-no! Please! Where do you find such disciplined emotions? Uhhhh-uh! It's because, physically? I, the Responsible Rambler, am in burrrrrrrning pain!
-_O
Nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn?!?!?!? Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh?.....ay......O_o! What you are witnessing? Right this very second? Is a moment of Libran dilemma. Conflict between the true me and me that wants to be bold....for a cause! Hmmmmmmm?!?! Should I? Shouldn't I? You might wanna pull up a chair. This could take a while.
Could it be a case of too much info? Not really, some people need too much info?!?! But what if it comes across offensive? It could but who says it won't be helpful? You think you know too much.....info, that's the problem! You do know that we're not alone here, right?!? (Excuse me while I argue with myself). Rude! Just...be Stacey? Or maybe for once in your life...........be hmmmmmmmmmmm-M!?!?!? Okay! You know what? This can only help! But what if....sighhhhhhhhhh? Because.......because nothing! Just be bold. Bully!
Just for now.
Deeeeeeeeeeep breath....................
Two days ago, I noticed a sensation on my left nipple. Wait! WAAAAAAAAAIT! OMG! NO! Not-not sensation! Discomfort! Yes! That's what it was. Discomfort! Very uncomfortable discomfort too! The discomfort?! Has taken it upon itself to regress into downright OUCHHHHHH, where I can't even wear a seatbelt! Unless I hook it under my arm. Like that does me any good! So now I'm in uncomfortable discomfort PLUS half protected by my seatbelt.
At first, I thought maybe it was just sandwiched at a funny angle between my bra and breast?! O_O! What? Never happened to you? No problem. So I'm the only one in the worrrrrrrld that this may or may not have happened to? Well? I have another scenario for people in denial!
A-hem! Anyway. You know when you wake up and you're positive that you didn't walk into anything...with your ear? So, you spend the better part of the day trying to figure out why it's just....throbbing? And then your wiser, older, mother-hen of a colleague asks you if you slept with your ear......folded? Yeahhhhhhh! You know just what I mean now, don't you? Meanwhile? Your first comment to her, in your mind, was, "If I knew the answer to that? Don't you think I woulda unfolded it in my sleep too?"
So I brushed it off like, "Agggggggggggg, folded nipple...or something."
Well? It turns out to be......or something because it's now swollen, aching annnnnnnnnd there is a painful, hard lump behind it. Nevermind that it's remaining as upright as the National Flag on a proud day! Not here, but! In another country. Just a note? I'm speaking this openly about my nipple because I feel that once I find out what my problem is? Someone, somewhere, reading this, could benefit. If- if they folded their nipple too!
Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahaahaha!
A-HEM! My apologies! It's not---smh----not a joke. It's rather painful! And by rather, I mean.... DAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMN!
Moving on. So me and my trusted companion, Wendy? Went to the wellness clinic and first the nurse went to lunch. My companion was who knows where! Then I went to the pharmacist who took me to the head pharmacist who ignored me for a good ten minutes. I woulda left. But the pain made me stay. It also made me whisper and want to expose my breast there and then, when she finally decided to remember that I was there. I didn't even finish my fourth sentence and she told me, "You have to go to the doctor for that! There isn't anything we can give you, you have to see a doctor!"
So, off me and my other trusted companion, sore nipple, went. Wendy by now is sitting and waiting for me. The nurse was back and was with someone already but when I mouthed voicelessly to her, "Are you going to be long?" She came out and I quickly explained my condition to her! She's like, "How old are you?" Now you knowwww when they ask you that? You're meant to be doing something that you're not! When I tell her that I'm forty? "Have you had a mammogram done?" Now you knowwww when they ask you have you had something done? You should be doing it but you're not! "No?" Her eyes then widen in concern and all I'm thinking is, "Wherrrrrrrrre is the manual for when you turn forty???? What's with all these secret procedures that I'm supposed to be having but don't have a clue I'm supposed to be having them?????"
Then?!? I was like, but wait! Yeah! Yeahhhhh! I got this! I eyed Wendy and told the sweet nurse, "We did have a breast examination last month." And she shakes her head, "But did you have a scan?" Balloon burst! I was so sure it woulda meant more! Clearly, I'm missing something here! "No?" She then walks to Wendy and asks her and as if Wendy didn't hear me tell her about the exam? She tries the same line. The nurse? If she opened her eyes any wider? She'd be the one needing a procedure!
At the end of it all? She said that I should put a warm cloth on it and take anti-inflammatories or painkillers until I can get to the doctor! But that I do need to see the doctor and have a mammogram. Cough! As if I'm not in enough pain? Now I've gotta give them my breasts to snackwich too! I read up about it on the net and all casual they say, you put one breast at a time between the scanner thingy and the plastic thingy and it flattens them?!?
-_-
I'm forty years old. That doesn't mean that my breasts all of a sudden became double-jointed! And not like flat against you!???? Noooooooh! Flat the other way! Flat a-----------way from you!
I'm kinda thinking that the best gift for a woman turning forty? Is a mammogram voucher! That way, they'd know what their next step should be! You won't find those in the mall, I'll bet, but who knew that when I reached forty? I'd be wishing that someone went shopping for my gift at the doctors office!
............. To be continued (so suspency!)
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