Manic Diagnosing

I hope you haven't completely written me off!  That would be uncool.  And cold.  Like this winter.  Brrrrrrrrrrrrrr.  And let's not talk about....depressing!

Uhhhh...On second thought? 

Let's! 

I have a question.  Is it me or has anyone else noticed how just.....just willy-nilly doctors have begun handing out the "depression" verdict?  I’m warning y’all.  It’s no longer safe around these parts, my friends.  Think twice before you decide to get a stiff neck in your sleep!  Or else....DIN DIN DIN DINNNNNNNNNNNN........  

Close your eyes.  Crap!  Then you wont be able to read.  Squint your eyes then, it’s better than nothing.  And let me take you on a depressing visit to the doctors office.  Ready?  Seat belt on?  Here we go....

You walk in there......you.  Go to the window, they take out your file, you sit down, watch the snowy TV they’ve mounted on the wall to keep you calm and distracted...in case you hear screams coming from the back.  Can’t have that.  Can’t have fear in the waiting area.  That’s for the dentist’s office.  Not the GP.  Here?  You have a choice on whether you want the injection.

Your eyes are taking strain because your neck can’t support your upturned head without you wanting to break the hand of the person next to you.  In half.  You don’t know them.  They’ve done nothing to deserve it, other than appear to be watching TV in a painless fashion.  Finally, you hear, “Miss So-and-so, the doctor will see you now.”  I got that from the movies, by the way.  In real life, they just call your name.

"Doc?  My neck’s been stiff for two days!  Haven’t slept a wink.  It’s just too painful."  Automatically, your hand comes up and massages your neck.  As if he doesn’t know where it is.

"Hmmmmmmmmmm?  Looks like depression to me!  Here!  Take these."  (Notice how there’s no mention of Icy Hot on the script)

O_O!  (that’s you, phase 2)

Okay, alrighT.  For the sake of fairness and all that is good and kind.  Granted, you've staggered into his/her office looking all cheerless and wretched and dark about the eyes.  It’s beyond me why you were limping.  To the man on the street, “Mannnnnnn, she looks emotionally troubled.”  But?!?  This aint no man on the street.  This is your doctor in his/her office.  Annnnnnnd?!?!  You do have a knot the size of a golf ball in your neck!  I feel your pain too.  I’m remembering the time I went for a full body massage and landed up in the chiropractors office.  I’m thanking my lucky stars right now that I didn’t go to your doctor, ‘cause I was not a happy chappy.  Happy Chappete.  ‘Cause I’m a female.  You know?  Like dude / dudette. 

Anyhooooo.......

Before you know it, you're hobbling right back outa there with a doctors note for manic depression and a prescription for meds with which heavy machinery should not be operated.  Nevermind, you just drove there.  Now...zooooooooooom....you’re off to the pharmacy.  You've filled out your prescription in total confusion.  Everything happened so fast.  You keep repeating to yourself, "He/she didn't even touch my neck." 

You're handed your meds by a pharmacist assistant who is clearly being nicer than normal since she’s well aware of what those tablets are for.  Besides?  Last thing she wants is for you to burst out in a frenzied wail orrrr...or snap and impulsively start flipping over medical pamphlets or something.  Depression can go either way.  You remove the insert and read.  I rarely do, but this is not about me.  Your head is already spinning from finding out that you're not the joyful, content person you once believed you were.  Once, as in about two hours ago.  Add to that, the disappointment of truly thinking that you were at the very least, in for a massage!  Things are just not playing out the way you imagined them, are they?  Now?  You've come to the 'warnings'. 

That diagnosis has baffled you so much that loss of concentration has caused you not to realize that you havent taken one of those little white bastard tablets, yet.  So, you’re standing outside.  Afraid.  Because there is a heavy machine parked in front of you.  And it’s yours.  And you need to get home.  But the insert said, leave it alone or else you’re gonna die.  So, all you’re doing is staring at your car, wondering, "How am I gonna drive home?"  I blame the doctor.  But as I said.  This is not about me. 

It’s now been a week of ingesting the medication prescribed for you.  And like a good little patient, you’ve convinced yourself that the doctor knows best.  Before long?  Whether you're Arthur or Marthur?  You just don't have a clue!  (Introducing, you, phase complete!)  Your mind is no longer alert enough to remind you that do have an Identity Document that cannnn help you figure that one out.  You're walking around the house like a stiff-necked zombie and your kids are like, "What happened to our mum?"  Smh!  Oooooops, my apologies.  I didn't mean to be insensitive with the whole 'shake my head' thing.  That's how this whole got thing started, didn't it?

And there you go.  I’m making light of this but I'm not blind and neither am I stupid.  Depression is a real illness but it's severity is being mocked by over-diagnosis.  Thats the just the way I see it.  Whether GP’s and psychologists have made some sort of a pact?  Shrug my shoulders.  Whether there’s an over supply of depression medication?  Shrug my shoulders.  Whatever it is.  You should, on some level, know whether you’re in a state of depression or not.  And at times, doctors don’t know best.  My mum wouldn’t be here today, if that were the case. 

And I know that I might have over-exaggerated the scenario in my storyline.  It’s what ramblers do.  But I’m hoping that somewhere in there, I’ve made my point.  Oh okay...so now you’re gonna ask me what my point was, huh?  You must be a doctor. 

My point is this.  Don’t be raked into believing that your emotional state is worst than what you know it to be and feel it to be, simply because a doctor is telling you that it is.  And if you actually are in depression?  Don’t be raked into believing that those tablets they give you, removes whatever it is, causing you emotional strain.  They might numb the problem.  But they don’t solve it.  Take it from someone who’s been there.  It takes support, not sedation, to help you through it.