As I write this? My dad is torturing my mum with bouts of random yelling, "DID SHE SHOOT HERSELF!!!!?!? DID SHE SHOOT HERSELF!!?!? MMMMMMXM!" He ends the sudden rant off with a sharp, disgusted, snubby glance away from the television. It makes for a good finish, I must say. Ima use that one. As I wrote that, I was enveloped in gratitude...I'm so glad she's not a dog. Dammmm??!?! If you know my dad? You know his voice. Ten times THAT volume woulda bust her short little happy-go-lucky doggy eardrums by now!
On the positive though, instead of her air-smacking her hand in his direction and responding with, "Wait man! Wait!" While she's tryna listen to the lady on the street talk about her feelings on the case, she coulda just bitten him. When I get there tomorrow, ima ask her what she'd prefer. If she had a choice. I'll start the conversation off with something that Cruz did, even if I have to make it up and then I'll subtly sneak in, "Ma? Let's say you're a dog, right...?"
My question to you, my responsible ramblers? Anybody wish they committed a crime just so that they could employ the services of Oscar's lawyer?! DAMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!! The man is a PITBULL, isn't he! Goodness. Gracious. Me!! I know for sure that Zuma's given up his day job ever since the trial started. You know that too. HE-HE-HE! Don't be sideways snickering as if you're not sitting there, thinking that he's over in his living room salivating about allegedly raping someone or allegedly corrupting something just so that he could be represented by whats-his-face!
Ay, it's gotta be an experience! To watch a man twist a witness' testimony soooooooh badly where it becomes crystal clear that halfway through their story, they don't know anymore if they heard cat's bark or monkeys meeeeeow!! And that's right after they've barely gotten over the nausea of witnessing the accused vomit his guilt out into brown paper bags.
DAFU#*!????! Who does that? I'm sure whats-his-face ordered, "OscaRR! Show emotion! oRR. ERLSE!" Show emotion? Okay. That I get. But over-playing-your-role with the vom...HM-MMM!!! I never once heard that he vomited a drop of his Valentines Day dinner after he shot her, heard her scream, shot her some more and then shot her some more! Then whats-his-face reckons that when OscaRR's hyped up, he screams like a girl!
Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahhahahaahahahah!!!!! SMDH! I hope OscaRR is gonna sue the pants off of him, or is planning to...just for putting that in print! You don't wanna go to jail with that reputation. I'm not taking sides...okay maybe I'm leaning more towards the guilty until proven innocent, bias? I'm just sayinnnnnn...vomit when the situation calls for it!
You eat bad take-out? Vomit! You're mum forces curdled milk down ya throat, maybe she didn't like to waste or something. I can't think of no other reason that she'd wanna do that to you. You vomit! I know! I know! When you were a child, you vomited wrong, so she was tryna teach you as a teenager, how to vomit, the right way 'cause let's be real for a minute. Ever notice how when kids vomit? They make sure that they're either onnnnnnn the bed, or near enough to a carpet? Whyyyyyyyyyyyyy?!? You wouldn't mind if they're running to the bathroom and vomit on their way there, on the FLOOR! Where all you would need to do is wipe it up. But then they gotta be all nasty about being sick. Now that I think about it? I'm pretty sure that that's the reason you got the curdled milk!
Anyway. I'll be back soon with an update on what OscaRR did in my dreams or what other horrid rumour whats-his-face started to prepare his smooth path to jail. He screams like a female? Hahahahahhahahhaha! WHAT?!?!
Sent via my BlackBerry from Vodacom - let your email find you!
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