I found this image on the net and I thought I'd talk a little bit about an aspect of it. I've lived now for forty-one years. If there is one thing that stands out to me it's this. If your intention is messed up. Your result will be no different.
One thing that's really important to me? Love. Shocker, huh?!?! If you're one of my Facebook contacts then it's almost guaranteed that you're sitting there like, "NOOOOOH! I woulda never figured!" He-he-he! Ya Rambler is a Libra afterall. Here, lemme show you. Astrostyle.com quote on Libra. "Secret Wish: To love and be loved in return"
And there you have it. It's on the internet, so it's true. O_o. Seriously though. I can live without a lot of things. Like castor oil. Ewwwwwwwww! That shit can put you off oranges for life. Any South African Coloured's reading this are having their childhood Saturday morning memories traumatise them as we speak. 'Specially if you had a sibling and just one bathroom.
But love? It's right up there with chocolate on the list of things that I have a constant craving for. It is. Eh? Howww can love not be important when it's such a phenomenal part of our existence. It's this ridiculously magnificent feeling that soars your spirit and instigates your need to discover what is your absolute best self! Here's the kicker though? Come a lil closer, you might wanna hear this, less the disturbing garbles of printers and power drills. WHEN. IT'S. DONE. RIGHT!
Notice? I didn't say perfect. I said right. While I understand that right is different for us all, some aspects are universal.
Right, just like this image says....is not if you're with someone simply because you'd rather not spend your nights alone. I've continuously observed my fellow humans as far as this very concept. Myself, included. I'm also a fellow human, thank you very much and when you just gotta have someone because you just gotta have someone...nnnnnnnnnn, to me? That's just not enough of a reason. What about the attraction? What about that new love excitement? Instead of, okay well, now I have someone. Cool. I'm part of the greater statistic.
See, I've always believed that if you've made a decision to enter into a relationship, it's never without a destination in sight. First you take it slow. See whether there's compatibility. Weigh the importance of giving it all up because of the parts of their personality that irritates the living daylights outa you, against the way they make you feel when you're with them. Daydream about how much you'd love it if they were still a part of your life when you think about next week? You know where I'm going with this, don't you?
Where exactly are you trying to get to if your reason for being there is because you don't want to be alone? Where exactly is the other person going? Where's the part about him/her feeling like that special person. Do you even need a special person then? 'Cause if you had any person, you wouldn't be alone, right? All you're trying to do is not be alone. So then. Whoooooop-di-dooooo! Now you're not alone. And then what? What if the other person has expectations and they're all gungho about this relationship and you're just like, bleh, long as I'm not not alone.
See there's two kindsa ways to look at this. From being the victim of someone with this mentality to being the one with this mentality.
The normal process for relationships, if you're adult enough, is to take it somewhere. Did I hear someone say destination bedroom?!?!? Nasty ass! I'm not talking about fornication. Gosh! What dirty minds some people have! Thought I was bad. LOL! I saw a quote the other day that read. "I don't have a dirty mind, I just have a sexy imagination." I'm going with that. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
What about destination living together? Hmmmmmmmmmm-mm! Yeaaaaaaah, I agree with you on that one. That's just a nice way of saying, fornication.
Destination engagement? Well, that leads to fornication too, doesn't it? Where the hell am I going with this!? I knew when I started the blog. I don't anymore. Definitely not to fornicate though. But I am beginning to question.......is there any relationship destination that doesn't lead to fornication???
Yes.
Destination marriage
Legal fornication
A-hem. I never said that. However true that might be. Ay. Don't be shooting the messenger. My brain told me to type that so I did. Look at my brain all funny, not me. I'm innocent. I'll look away. Okay, GO!
Nuf now. My brain gets shy when people stare. Lemme rather tell you what I've come to know. Fornica------uhhhh. Nope. Nope. Not that.
I have some advice that has nothing to do with any F words. On the other side of alone? Is lonely. Yours truly is of the opinion that those two words with a lot of the same letters in the same places? Are not the same thing. Loneliness? Is worst, because it's more emotional than it is a fear. It's more a yearning than it is a situation. And when you have a scenario where it's emotions vs predicament? If emotion is what drives your decision making? Then what trumps what? Don't all scream at once. You in the blue shirt, you're quite correct! Fornication!!! Hahhahhahahhha! Kiddddddding! Kidding! Emotions, yes!
Now I know that you've possibly been plodding along this grassy earth with the theory that if you're alone, you're lonely. Just 'cause one word appears to derive from the other, don't mean they're similar in meaning! Said not one English teacher. But I'm not English. I'm South African. And I'm not a teacher. Not a paid one at least.
Let's do this. Let's paint a picture. I'm not an artist either but I have an imagination. It's a start. Imagine a starry night. Imagine the waves crashing at the shore. Imagine you're walking alone on the beach? Pfffffffffffft! Who does that?!? Anyway, let's do that for the sake of examplirisations. I SHOULD be an English teacher. Clearly!
It might just be that you're taking yourself for a walk but are you lonely? Don't look at me? I'm asking you. If it were me and I wasn't lonely? I would say, "No, Rambler! I would just be walking alone on the beach because nobody was fool enough to agree to put their lives at risk in the quest to get rid of cellulite." See it might very well have nothing to do with loneliness and everything to do with exercise or your lack of ride or die friends.
But see when you're lonely and that loneliness is what causes you to jump into the first relationship that'll get you outa your misery of loneliness. You hafta admit, it's miserable being lonely. Believe you meeeee, next thing you know? You're bailing them outa jail because you've allowed them to convince you that it's okay to use you as the scapegoat for the reason that they wound up in there to begin with. Meanwhile! Back at house of horrors? They weren't taking care of their responsibilities long before you came on the scene. But you cared not! You needed out of your misery! > _<! Stop! Waiiiiiit. Listen to me for a minute. You think I'm talking crap but I'm not. Worst things have happened and you know it!
Maybe this is a better way to explain the difference. Loneliness, the emotion and being alone, the fear…..can make you do either of these two things in a relationship. Leave or stay.
More likely than not, you will cheat if you're lonely. Whether physically, emotionally, or nowadays, online-ally! Because well? Humans….like dogs. Need attention. Plain and simple. End of story. All it takes is for someone to take an interest. Someone to say to you, "I see you." In whichever way they're saying it and it's towards that person that you will gravitate. Ay, I didn't make the rules. But honesty is the best policy. And when I honestly tell you that when one thirsts, that one needs to drink? Then please believe me when I tell you too that when that faucet is opened and nothing coming out of it? It's only a matter of time before that throat is so parched that one has no choice but to notice that other faucet with water running out of it!
When you're afraid of being alone? You will stay in that vile relationship at all costs! Most times, it costs a lot. Your confidence, your life savings, your sanity, your self-respect, your dignity. I could go on but I'm strapped for time. Thing is, you do see it for what it is but us humans tend to choose the worst times to ignore reality. However you're being treated, you'll take it. Whatever you're lacking, you'll accept it. You know you deserve better. You know that you're worth more, yet there you are. Day in and day out, slowly withering away inside while content in the fact that physically, you have someone. Why>>>>>>>>>>>>> say it with me now...jussssssss so you are not alone.
If you're still not convinced…consider this…You're in it. You're not feeling it anymore. Both of you have drifted so far apart that you need a binoculars to see each other and you're a couch apart. But you can see this. You can see clearly that your relationship has or is heading straight into the gutters. You've tried everything but nothing's changing. One day, you're staring the situation in the face, he's sitting there and watching tv. Probably the soccer world cup. Else he woulda noticed you staring a hole through his head.
You think to yourself, "Blah, blah, blah….But then if I leave? What if I never find someone else? Then I can't even fornicate or nothing. What if?!?!? OH! The HORROR! O_O! What if I end up gumless and alone because my cat…&%$@# bastard will keep the cat if I leave? Aaaargh. Ima just stay put. 'Least I have somebody, you know. Anything is better than nothing!"
WRONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG! Anything is never better than nothing when it makes you short-change your happiness and your worth and your quality of life.
Annnnnnnnnd?! See what I'm dealing with! The shower has beckoned and I haven't even touched on the other parts of this image stroke quote. He-he-he…stop thinking about fornication just 'cause I typed out that word! LOL!
Sent via my BlackBerry from Vodacom - let your email find you!
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