You ever find yourself overspending time on wondering why your relationship ended? I did but I don't. Not anymore. Here's what experience has taught me. One of my best friends in the whole wide world has told me on more than one occassion that "Experience is the best teacher." He didn't say that that phrase applied more to the stubborn that the one listening to good advice and he didn't have to. He probably knew that I'd eventually figure that one out for myself. After I made sure to ignore the advice and go with the "let me give myself a concussion first, then I'll listen" route. Don't he-he-he like you've never done it.
Ever since my marriage failed and then my relationship thereafter, took a sharp nose-dive straight into a concrete floor? It didn't happen overnight, not the nose-dive, that was inevitable. I'm talking about my outlook and it's not to say that I was like, shrug, "oh well, that's over", but I've since learnt that pondering on things beyond one's control slowly steals your moments of joy.
Why? Because sometimes, you won't ever find the answers. Sometimes, it's just as simple as it wasn't meant to be. Or as the cliche' goes, some people are meant to be a lesson and nothing more. I won't wonder beyond that.
Why? Asking that question a lot, aren't I? Just said I wouldn't, didn't I? Well? I forgive me.
Why? 'Cause these are why's to different questions.
Truth is. Time is really all we have. Why? (Just kidding)
Once you're over that initial hurt or whatever it is you feel after your relationship has ended. I understand that we're all different. So you might feel, oh I dunno? Itchy where someone else feels serial killerish. When you're finally over that, don't spend any more of your precious time on what could have been, should have been, would have been, wanted it to be. Spend it on what is and what still can be.
And blame? Uuuuurgh! Blaming is the most childish of all reactions when you're tryna dissect a failed relationship. Guess what? Somebody's always going to be wrong, including you. Something could always have been done better, by you too. More effort could have been made, on your part too. All it does, is it shows you to be a whiner who doesn't take responsibility for your own part in it's failure.
Blame keeps you bitter and blame prevents change and most importantly? It's a block. It's a block where you won't ever really see what it is that you were meant to learn from it because you're so busy focusing on making yourself shine bright like a diamond, LOL! My jam! So busy focusing on making yourself look like the good little victim that you will never understand what that person's purpose was, in your life.
Here's the thing-a-majig! If your relationships keep failing and you refuse to OWN your part in it? Then what's gonna happen?!? Easy-peasy-lemon-squeezy! They will keep failing. Ownership doesn't only apply to your successes. Nope! Uh-uh! It applies to your failures too.
So take a minute, or months or years and work on improving who you are as a person or a partner. Instead of wasting those minutes, months or years on blaming your ex for the end result. Psssssssssssst! Lemme tell you a lil secret...a lot more good will come from that than another string of failed relationships and ex's to blame for wherever you find yourself in life.
At the end of the day, with whatever it is? The final choice is yours. To stay or leave, it's yours. To lead or control, it's yours. To encourage or discourage, it's yours. I can go on and on and show you how well I know my opposites 'cause I do. He-he-he. You can see that I'm quite learned on the subject of opp....A-HEM...I-I know them.
In my childhood fantasies? Right now, I'd be happily married with a family to love and a dog that sticks to peeing on his towel. In reality, I sit here today with no partner, a family to love and a dog who won't leave my side since I've had this surgery. That's what happens when you make sure to put ya foot down! On the floor so he can sleep on it. That shit pays off in the end. All that I have now? Ay, that's A-okay!
Why? Because what's behind me? Won't stop me from remembering why I'm single but I'm so damn grateful that I have successfully managed to remember that, without holding onto bitterness. And I can remember it all too, without playing the blame game. No doubt, I'd lose because it would be like an anchor to misery and even though time would be moving along, my life would be standing still. My growth would become non-existent. And the smile that I just found again? Would disappear faster than a relative who owes you money!
And now? I've come. I've taught. I've got to sleep. It's 11pm and I have a date in the morning! Uh-huuuuuh! With a doctor! Doing alright for myself, aren't I? ^_^!
Lmao!
Before another rumour starts! It's my follow-up doctors' appointment. Removing stitches I think...OUCH!
Sent via my BlackBerry from Vodacom - let your email find you!
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