So I'm sitting there and they're talking and I'm listening. I was eating popcorn too so I really set the mood and everything! Thas how I roll! Well, I-I----sat with the popcorn, I'm not tryna choke or nothing, but I roll like that, ya know. And I'm listening and they're talking and they're talking and I go, "AH-HA!!!! That's #@*?!@!# why it used to be THAT way!" Ya Rambler sat up straighter, clutching the popcorn bowl! It used to be one of those delicious indian melting biscuit canisters. I turned it into a popcorn bowl by removing the lid. I shoulda patented that idea but I was thinking about paperwork at the time.
At this stage, I'm crunching that popcorn with a passion I telya! For some reason it tastes that much better when you're fascinated. 'Cause now my adrenalin's pumping right and I'm remembering this, this and that and a mixture of epiphany's and realisations are flying left, right and centre, knocking mosquito's over and shit! You really shoulda been there!
One thing stood out for me while I continued to watch. When I chose to surround myself by the doom and gloom kinda company, including my own, it was almost all that I was experiencing in my life. One thing after another but once I chose to rid my life of the negativity that kept coming at me through my thoughts and through my words and the words of people that I intentionally and really just stubbornly kept close to me? Now that I've made better choices as far as the company that I keep, including my own? Evvvvvvvvverything has changed.
I don't think I've ever felt this content and excited, even with everything NOT YET exactly the way that I want it to be, the happiness that I feel absolutely outweighs any misplaced parts of my life's plan. And it helps too that I now understand that my life is a current work in progress....^_^!
More and more I'm starting to see that it has taken a direction of growth and being a lot more honest with myself, more than anything else where when I reflect on what it was like some years ago----where I was emotionally and psychologically? I'm like, "DaaaaaaaaaaaYaaaaaaaaaam, Rambler!" I'm constantly learning and accepting but what I've learnt most to do is relax. I'm not the stress bag that I used to be, feeling inside as if I'm this headless chicken running WILD, crashing into walls everytime a challenging situation arose. Naaaaaah! I'm surfing those waves with a smile on my face, confident that everything will work out for the best. It helps.
Life feels so much calmer when you learn to relax and instead of looking for the doom in a situation, look for the lesson and teach it after everything is said and done. There are so many out there dealing with the same or similar that could use your words of encouragement. Don't be selfish with the words of encouragement. Words of encouragement are good. Like chocolate. I couldn't have even begun to experience any of that had I not cut the ropes of negative influence and presence in my life.
Even just leading up to watching this documentary, in retrospect, I can visualize myself walking up to this door, ya know? Do you----do you know? What I'm saying?
And this is what this documentary basically teaches. It teaches a conditioning of the mind towards positive thought, positive words, positive reflection, you know? Negativity breeds negativity, positivity breeds positivity. Yeah. And the gratitude for what you have right now and for what's to come, belief in what you desire being fulfilled simply by asking for it and then focusing your mind on living daily as if you already have all that you desire. Conditioning it so that you don't give life and power to the struggle in a situation.
See? See what I'm saying? That last sentence alone! That was deep----ish!
My kids are doing great! My relationship with my family is way, wayyyyyyyy better than it has been over the past years! I'm gonna give credit where credit is due and that's to forgiveness. It's made all of the difference but I know with all certainty that if I didn't make the choices that I've made? I wouldn't have been able to. Or more truthfully, I wouldn't have been allowed to until I put myself in a position to allow myself to. Forgiving doesn't eliminate the memories, ofcourse but even so, the most important part of that is that the grudges that one holds onto, the part that was crippling you, is released. Besides, not forgetting keeps you aware.
I'm now in a relationship that feels like a Godsend in my life. Every day feels like a magical place to live. This is what I feel as though I'd been preparing for, growing for, changing for. There's a quote I've happened upon that read, "One day you will meet someone who makes you see why it didn't work out with anybody else."
I finally have the answer that I've been looking for, for aggggggges. "Is this all that there is...?" Well? The answer was, "Nope..." And if you're asking yourself that very same question, be patient and instead, tell yourself, "I really can't wait to enjoy all of the wonderfully DESERVING things that life still has in store for me!"
So all in all, I do agree with what this documentary teaches. Being positive has changed my life for the BEST! With all of that said? Ya Rambler has a full day at the office tomorrow which means she's gotta hit the sack in a few!
Ramble Responsibly while I'm away, okay?
Sent via my BlackBerry from Vodacom - let your email find you!
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