Wednesday 10 July 2013

Encountering The Voice of Forgiveness


I had theeeee best two days evvvvvvvvver!   So yesterday, right?  Was Tuesday

There I was, I’m minding my own business.  Doing my work and this….voice keeps talking to me.  Noooooh, noh!  It wasn’t because of DT’s.  That was last week.  ;-)  So, I’m hearing this voice and I’m like, “Voice?  Come on now.  Keep it down, can’t you see a girls tryna work here?  Look…look at my desk!”  You’d think it’d listen after I told it to look at my desk.   SMH.  If someone told you to look at their desk?  What does that mean?  It means be quiet, right?  Yeah.  At least someone understands. 
But nooooooooooooooooh.  Not the voice.  I thought if I gave it a dirty look, it would succumb to the pressure so I turn towards it.  I couldn’t find it. DRAT!!  I can’t see inside my head.  My talents have limits, okay. 

I then go back to what I was doing, after the other voice in my head said, “Hmmmmpf!”  Yes!  It said an action.  Voices have no mouths.  They just talk.  O_o!  Okay, this…this is not going as I planned.  Does sound like DT’s.  My only advice at this point is…just have faith.  Ye ol’ Rambler alwayyyyyys manages to bring the madness together, somehow, don’t I?  Ofcourse I don’t.  I mean, ofcourse I do. 

“Forgive, forgive, forgive!” 

Woahhh.  Can’t believe I’ve got 384 pages of writing on this blog word document.  That’s alota writing.  Thank you, Blackberry.  And my thumbs!  Hmmmmmmmmmmm?  Maybe I should try publishing this.  What you think?  “Blog of a mad Coloured Rambler.” 

What?  O_o

Whaaaaaaat?  O_o

The voice?!?!?  >_<  Oh oh oh yeah!  Sorry about that.  My eyes wandered off and found the page count.  And you know me.  When my eyes find the page count, anythings possible.  Except push-ups.  That’s a reaction to nothing but Jarryd’s instruction in dance class and even then.  I wanna resist but I dowanna be thrown out.  He’s the boss in that studio.  So yeah, allllllll day, “Forgive, forgive, forgive…..”  I realized that when a voice repeats the same word over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over?  It might not know another one….or?!?!  Orrrrr?  It may mean business. 

Lemme tell you something.  One of the most difficult journey’s for me has been reaching a point of being able to let go of past hurts and pain and honestly walk away from them.  Yesterday?  Two of my journies ended.  I felt a calm like never before where it didn’t hurt anymore.  It didn’t cause me anger anymore.  I was chatting to my cousin Cindy the other day and from our conversation, I understood what was going on.  I believe that this was the first time that I’d consciously heard God talk to me.  There were probably countless other times that He did, where I didn’t recognise it or didn’t acknowledge it the way I should have, but something incredible happened to me yesterday.  He didn’t stop until He got through to me.

Have you ever made a decision and knew?  You knew with everything inside of you that it was the right one?  I started thinking about the very beginning of time.  I see you eyeballing that last sentence.  Not….not alllllll the way back to Adam and Eve.  Come on now?  You’re trying to trick me, aren’t you?  Throw me off track ‘cause you’re well aware that if you start asking me questions while I’m in the middle of a story, I might just start a new one relating to something you mentioned. 

Jus-jussst walk with me here, okay…thatttt’s it.  Next to me.  No need to be running wild in the Garden of Eden.  Didn’t you hear?  There’re snakes there. 

No.  I’m referring to the beginning of my time.  Two very lonnnnnnng standing occurrences that I’ve been unable to walk away from?  All I could think about!!  And I’m talking over thirty years worth of harbouring this anger and resentment over what happened.  It all just…left me.  Just like that.  And I feel absolutely, indescribably, new

Today, I woke up and I decided that I’m gonna let those people involved know so that they too can free themselves and I did and guess what?!  I feel even better after having done that! 

Uh-oh!  It’s now just turned into tomorrow.  I’m gonna get some rest so that I can wake as fresh and as enthusiastic as I did today!  See you guys soon!

Peace!

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