Monday 29 July 2013

Raped of Its Dignity

Raped of It’s Dignity

I can only speculate.  But was South Africa dropped on its head at birth or what?  And I know what you’re saying to yourself.  You bring up a good point there, Rambler!  Why, thank you.  Your points are not so bad themselves.     

Look?  Some-something is seriously wrong.  I read yesterday that soon we won’t be able to spank our kids with the flat of our hands.  Naturally?  When my eyes have the misfortune of seeing crap like that?  I read no further, mumble profanities under my breath, or aloud, depending on who’s in the room.  Priests appear outa nowhere at times.  And then turn straight to the horoscope page.  FYI.  I won’t live happily ever after today…rats!  But I remain optimistic.    

Personally?  I’m not much of a spanker.  But on the rare occasion that I might feel the need?  I said, rare.  I know for a fact that I will feel a hundred times worse having to two-feet my child as a means of disciplining him/her.  The lawmakers, I am convinced come up with this load of drivvle during intoxication.  We’ve all been there.  You’re wasted.  Suddenly stripping and doing laps around the neighbourhood seems like a sound form of exercise.  There’s a huge difference, though, between party favourites and laws that govern the country. 

Let’sssssssss just say, right.  The disciplining occurred at the end of the passage?  What happens if he/she lands in such a way where he/she hits his/her head on the corner of the wall after I’ve disciplinicly (-_-) swiped the floor from underneath him/her?  He/she are still my kids, afterall.  Love hurts at times.  Ask me.  How serious would my disciplining session appear when thereafter, I have to help them up, check for blood, cry, sit up with them all night (they say that you shouldn’t allow your child to sleep for a while after they’ve hit their head), cry, hold an ice pack to the lump?  If you’re me, within all of the disappointment at the way this has gone, yet another dilemma arises. 

Fending off the temptation while you’re salivating at the knowledge that ice is at hand.  Alllllllllll that drama, when all I could have done was flat-handedly smack them on the arm or the thigh, any place except for the face, that’s not protected by the clothes I bought.  It totally defeats the purpose if I have a hand in protecting them against the pain I am trying to inflict on them, doesn’t it?  All it could have been, is smack and send.  I stopped at send because I don’t know where you prefer to send your kids after you’ve smacked them.  Plus I didn’t wanna appear egotistical and make this about me, me, me.

Already, corporal punishment has been banned in schools.  I dunno about you but the burning sensation lingering on the tip of our fingers from being whipped by a bamboo cane?  Even when we were nowhere near whomever had verbal diarrhoea during the lesson?  It kept us in line!  It kept us respectful and it helped us to master the art of crying within.  You didn’t wanna be known as the cry baby in school.  OMG!  Not the reputation you wanted following you around all your life.  And?!?!  We were still expected to write while our fingers throbbed and beated like Tom’s head when Jerry dropped an entire wall unit on it.  The main thing is that we wrote.  We wrote out of fear but we wrote, regardless.   

I’ve jumped the gun.  My apologies.  Lemme take a few steps back and tell you what was plastered across the front page of the Times?  The big union boss is being accused of alleged rape.  I said alleged.  I’m being as judicially correct as my fingers will allow.  He says he’s innocent and that he didn’t “hear” her saying no.….CHOKE….my mind was like, SCUREEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH!!!!!   Did he maybe hear his wife say, “Dear, you’re welcome to sleep with your colleagues during office hours.  I know how stressful the middle of the day can be for you.”  O_o.  Meanwhile?!?  Back at the....meanwhile?  Back in the two thousand and something....he was in sizzling hot water for spending funds on romantic rendevous with the now wife, then mistress!  Greed.  SMH.  He does admit to locking her office door, but just so that they weren’t walked in on.  Meaning, by his wife, I think.  I can't be sure.  But now the alleged victim is being charged for extortion, blackmail and for having a vagina.  I said, alleged.  I didn't mean it, though.        

First the now president was tried for rape.  But he’s innocent.  GASSSSSSSSSSP!  Shocker.  The guilty victim had HIV but he had a shower.  Least he's clean.  This may come as a surprise, but unlike in the US or other countries?  Not Zimbabwe.  When we vote?  We vote for the party.  Not the person.  The person?  If he's the leader of the "winning" party, we’re unfortunately just forced to accept him as president.  Which means that unlike the way that it’s done in other countries?  Not Zimbabwe.  Where the presidential candidate loses votes, a chance at winning or the ability to even compete in the stupid elections, because he has a record for a car he might have stolen back when he was being initiated for entry into a gang?  It was him or the car.  With a choice like that?  I woulda been bending that metal coat hanger my damn self. 

Here, however?  It’s alright.  You can have been the leader of that gang, rape, kill, steal, in the past or the present, a satanic priest, annnnnnnnnnything.  You still have every chance and apparant right, to run the country.  We're non-judgemental like that.  Just flash your card and you're forgiven.  It’s almost like….like we're being punished for having a heart beat.  It’s at this point and the only time that you’re seriously sincere in begging the heavens (You’ve given up on your parents’ explanation of how they were so very much in love and how they believed that having you would complete their lives.) for an answer to, “What the hell were you thinking when you made me?”  I'm guessing all of Zimbabwe are asking either heaven or hell this very question as we speak.     

One has a million wives.  The other has one wife.  That we know of.  The point I’m trying to make is that none of the accused, or the proven-innocent, have a valid reason, other than because I can, to even find themselves in this kinda predicament, ‘specially when it’s not their wives accusing them of this animalistic crime.  Hey, it happens.  Both ways.  But greed is a nasty, nasty habit, isn’t it?  You want your husband, well not wannnt-wantPrefer rather, to come home with his tail between his legs, pitiful as he says, “My love, I was charged for driving without my seatbealt today.”  Not.  “My love, I was charged for rape today.” 

But wait…don't go just yet....THERE’S MORE…..!!!!!!!!! 

Sommmmmmmewhere in the midst of all of this lunacy?  We have ol' faithful, Malema being allowed to form his own political party.  Jesus Christ of Nazareth!  O_O!  Talking about how the state should just take all of the land in South Africa and have people then apply to use it. Holy Mary, Mother of God!  >_<!!!!!  Gimme a second while I vomit. 

I feel it necessary to now put on record that should I develop Bulimia?  I will name Mr. Malema as the number one exclusive cause of my condition.  &%^$ all that emotional stress, fear of fat, sob sob, sniff sniff, when I look in the mirror I'm obese, shit.  My medical sheet will be very precise

Diagnosis: Bulimia
Symptoms:  Nausea and vomiting
Cause: Julius Malema
Treatment:  Unknown until a cure is found for idiosyncrasy


Pray with me, good people of South Africa.  May the good Lord, help us all!  Us who are stuck in this hellhole without the option or opportunity to buy property on Mars, or Mauritius. 


























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