Every Little Step I Take

I've had my hands pretty full with writing and wondering. Yup! See that? See what I just did there? I made youuuuu, wonder what I've been writing! Scientists have revealed that using certain words can make one do whatever you want them to do. Rule the world kinda words! Okay, they didn't! But they should! I mean, look how easy it was for me? Talking 'bout me? As if we weren't. I've been writing a lot of words! Thousands of words that make complete sense.

O_o!

Don-don't snicker like that with alla them heh-heh-heh's. You're giving me a complex here! And besides? Is it really thaaaaaaat hard to believe? I'm no Gemini, but I do have a sensible part of me as well as a senseless one too. As a Libra, it simply has to be that way. I can't be one way. Like a highway. Who can stand being a highway, any---way! Our highway's don't even have emergency lanes. Imagine me without an emergency lane. I'm a sign of balance so where's there's sense, senseless should follow. That's when I look like this… o_o. Not like this…O_o.

In between, I've been trying to become accustomed to being followed around by this little man. 'Cause the moment I move, all I hear is...tap tap tap tap...turn around and Cruzzy-boy's following me alllllllllll around the house! Evvvvvvvvverywhere I go! I swear it's like a take on the video of Bobby Brown's track, Every little step I take...so then I stand right? Sometimes I do that. Next thing, Mr. Tap Tap Tap Tap slowly walks up to me and settles ON my foot, curls himself into a cute lil ball and pretends to be asleep!

Suddenly I go from singing while cutting onions to feeling all bad and awwww shame now he's gonna wake...strangely enough! These new onions I've being buying? They don't make me cry! Not like a new brand or anything. Not Levi onions, but new, like unused. I'm not saying that I ever buy used onions, I'm just saying when the onions in my fridge are finished, then I buy more! Just so we're clear.

I woooould take from my parents but they're shaped funny. And so are their vegetables. My dad has been growing these veggies and recently my mums been coming at me with carrots that look like asses and all. Hey? Don't look at me! I've had nothing to do with that! I'm just the victim of having to inspect ass-shaped carrots! It's my state of mind that's being messed with here!

Where was I? Oh yeah! Cutting my unused no-name-brand onions! So then I gotta move and we're back to tap tap tap tap behind me over to the sink! It see-eeems?! To solve this situation...and here he comes now...ima have to start jumping on the spot. Standing is...is messing with my emotions. Making me talk to dogs too. 'Cause I'm there, "CruZZZZZZy...lay over there so that you're not disturbed all the time, boy." Not to mention having to contend with the looks that he gives me. He doesn't have to say it for me to know that he's thinking, "Woman? You do know that all I understand in your language is my name? Right?"

It goes on and on that way until I go to lay down, where then he starts yelling at me in this high-pitched tone, which sounds a lot like his mother, Paige's voice when she's all hyper. You'd think after a long day at work and having my inner peace tippled on its ear while I'm tryna feed my family? You'd think that I'd be able to just retire to my chambers and rest.

Neooooooh!

These days I gotta lay on my bed with my one foot on the floor! ! So HE can get comfortable on it! Is that fair? You know what I've just realized? I've just realized that the constant nightmares I've been having are because my body is not aligned! My body's not...hmmmm...it's not feng-shui'd. It has nothing to do with being emotionally anything! Zero! Nothing! Nada! It's because my one leg is missing my other leg. Awwwwww, so sweet!

Ladies? Let's be honest. I won't ask you to put your hand up or nothing. You can inner-agree with me. We've all at one point wished for a man who'd follow us around like puppy dogs, right?! Well, I've been fortunate enough to be given the heads up on what that might actually be like! I feel compelled to come to you with this warning! DON'T BE WISHING FO DAT NO MO!!! The genie might grant it and then you're stuck with him wanting to sleep on your foot while you're cooking and then what?!?! I don't know 'bout you but that? That's just too much loving right there! It's cute when it's an actual puppy-dog, but you better be sitting there right now, thanking your lucky stars that your wish didn't come true because if I honestly had a man doing this? I would lose my damn mind!

Just think? Then I'm exhausted and go to lay down? Instead of offering a massage, he's looking at me and I'm looking at him and then he looks at the floor, we start arguing with our eyes, cursing and shit…with our eyes, and then when our eyes start throwing out yo mama insults? I tell myself, things have gone far enough, yo mama insults weren't called for, so just to get some sleep, my eyes say, okay, I give up! IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII must then be misaligned with my one leg on the flo...Whooooooooooooooo! Nuhhhhhh-uhhhhh!

Space!

Wish for a man who gave you space instead.
Trust me….ya legs will thank you for it!
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