Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!! Sniff…D'you know what I found out yesterday? You-you really wanna know? It's pretty graphic, you sure? Okay, I-I'm just gonna say it!
There will be no dance classes for adults this year!
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh the horror! Just saying it…I mean? I mean, typing it. Look at the awful way that those words just form that – that nightmarish sentence! How I wish I didn't understand a word of English right now? That that very sentence? When I looked at it, or heard it, or read it? That it looked like this…gjgjikhiuht6po98458yq[ndjdbf,mabnfnvakjkakljrfkla! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!
Why did IIIIII have to be an adult this year!?!?! I had big plans! Huge plans for the future…of attending hip hop dance class until I was at least of pension age. 'Cause you have to be fit when you become a pensioner! People have died waiting in the pension queue. No, I'm not kidding. They've died, dead! Like wake up, lady…no I'm dead, dead. The pension queue and-and the sun...like together, and then our service delivery, 'cause it's hot, sun's are hot, then the queue, a hot long queue, it kills! People. May their souls rest in peace. Jokes aside, I meant that. Ruthless! That pension queue. Woah? That hit pretty hard. Our putrid service delivery is lethal. That has to be one of the most embarrassing things I've ever had to say about South Africa.
SOUTH AFRICA! So beautiful, yet so deadly…where the youth are killed by you name it, it's possible annnnnnnd the aged are killed by…to name one? Service delivery.
But not if you're standing there, practicing a hip-hop routine, though! See? I come up with the absolute perfect, annnnnnd viable plan to stay alive long enough to spend my pension cheque on...oh, I dunno? A loaf of bread. I didn't do the math but I'm sure that assuming that it will be equivalent in value? I'm not too far off. But now? Sobbbb! Wurrrrrumigonnadoooooo?!
I'm not opposed to surprises, okay, but I was hardly in the frame of mind or prepared to hear that news of total horror, yesterday. And still, today, I refuse to believe it! And you can't make me. Not that it'll change the fact that-sniff-that there will be no dance classes for adults this year! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!
It's just typical! Typical that the MOment...well no, it doesn't matter that moment lasted for about four or five years, but the MOMENT that I find that ONE thing that is my EVERYTHING? It's then violently yanked from my clutches. Uh-uhh…No physical altercation occurred but it felllt! It felt as though I was shot with an AK-47. At close range. Through my heart! It was twilight, you know when the sky is orange…yeah and I was just standing there, in my dance outfit. The grey pants. My favourite one. Figures this would happen when I'm just standing there in my favourite dance pants. But the only reason I'm still alive is because the rifle was aimed at the left side, when, hehehehehe! Gotcha! My heart sits on my right-hand side. Yeah. It feels like that's how it happened. I didn't include what colour bandana I was wearing. That's not what's important.
The important thing is that as I sit here typing this blog post? I'm no longer complete. There, I said it. I've been holding back on the dramatics this entire time, but that's the truth right there. I'm half the Rambler that I was just on Sunday. I have a HUGGGGE-mongous, yes I said huge-mongous! Hole in my chest right now. And I dunno what to stuff it with. Sniff! Nothing can fill that hole, Jarryd...nothing can heal this broken hip-hop dancer, Jarryd...sniff!
You think he heard my cries? JARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRYD! Okay, that? What 'bout that? You think he heard that? :-(
Lemme tell you something? It's not the easiest of things to do...finding a perfect release, a perfect place where for that hour, whatever's gone wrong that day or that week? It melts it all away!
Huh?
What'd you say?
Weed?
No, no! No, no!
(She thinnnnnnks...weighing up the pros and cons)....Well? Hmmmmmmmmm! I mean, it might just have the sam.....O_O!
NOOOOOH! NO!
Sent via my BlackBerry from Vodacom - let your email find you!
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