The Time Has Come

I’m not even gonna lie.  It’s kinda tough to concentrate today. 

Up to a certain point?  I don’t have any recollection of my childhood.  I know, with absolute certainty, that I was a premature baby, a very cute one by the way.  No-no!  No-no.  It’s got absolutely nothing to do with vanity.  I’ve seen the pictures!  ;-)  Then I was a toddler, then I grew a bit more, then I know what I’ve been told.  And thennnnnnnn?!?!?  I remember…eating Pronutro cereal at nursery school and falling off a swing on my way home and hiding behind our avocado pear tree when I didn’t want to go.  Before that?  I got nothing.

I’ve met some people who remember things that happened when they were two.  My first reaction when I hear them?  “Liar!!!”  In my head, though.  Not with my mouth.  Oh nohhhhhhh!  Call me a coward, call me what you like.  I just don’t see the point of instigating an altercation over a suspicion.  Some, you just have to keep to yourself.  This is not CSI Durban.  Chances are, they probably weren’t lying.  I mean?  Life is so full of things to do, who has time to make up stories about their life as a toddler?  I probably just have a bad memory and didn’t wanna admit it. 

When I was younger?  I’m talking about after my years of a blank existence but old enough only to watch my sister and cousins getting ready to go to wherever it was that they were going to…we’ve all been there, right.  Until the gap eventually closes, and then its all for one and one for all.  Possibly packed in one car too. 

But I’d lay there…she’s just so beautiful.  That’s all I would think, watching her.  Back then, alot of that had to do with what I saw, but then as you get older?  And you begin to understand that beauty is a lot deeper than skin, shape or size.  When it becomes more about an inward state than it is an outward appearance?  Ones deciding factors begin to vary.  And so did mine.  Only, I still have that very same thought.  Just for additional reasons. 

Tomorrow, we will all get together, firstly to bury my grans ashes, and then to have a farewell for my sister before she leaves for Dubai.  Celebrate.

-_-

L

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Sob!

Sniff!  Celebrations are meant for happy occasions, aren’t they?  Both of tomorrows occasions will be anything but that so I don’t really…It’s like…sighhhhhhh?  I don’t know what to call whatever it is that we’re going to be doing!  If I rationalize it? 

Varied good-byes 

That’s what they are.  That’s what we’ll be, “celebrating.”  

Despite all of this, I have no doubt that we will have fun tomorrow.  When she’s around, there rarely is a dull moment.  Or syllable.  

I just wish so hard that it was for a reason, other than this.