Guess what's on the front page of our newspaper today? You ready?!!?!?!?
SHORTAGE OF
BREATHALYSERS HAMPER POLICE!
Now youuuuu tell
me? Tell me anything. Please! ‘Cause this?
This tops the dim-witted list
for me! And I hope that you’re holding
on to your chair because there’s more!
These very generous journalists then go on to say…..Motorists who drive drunk this festive season in Durban could get away
with it because many officers in the city don't have access to breathalysers!
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHHA!!!!!!!!!!
Hold on while my
facial expression turns to humorous disgust!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!
DISGUST!
Stupid stupid STUPID!
NO, not me! These clowns
who have just told all of the festive seasons drunk drivers in Durban, “You there!
Yes, you with the possible innate fear of being arrested for the zero
tolerance limit we just told you was implemented?!! Get ya drink on! Jump in ya car! Kill your fellow Durbanites! And you can still enjoy your Christmas! Make sure though? Make sure that you do it before some kind
soul sponsors our police force with enough breathalysers to protect the sober
drivers. A-hem! And their children! You better hurrrrrrrrry! Pssssssssssssst….The government haven’t yet
realized that just the other day? They
also made it public news that they have millions in the budget for SPORTS! Merry Christmas, you drunken hazards, you!!!!”
Dammmm?! I'm no
frequent drinker but I can imagine the twinkle
in a few people's eyes right about now.
With the office Christmas party’s already on the go, this is wonderful
news! Right???
Isn’t it!?!?!
No. It’s. Not.
Can we pretend for a
while that we’re not surrounded by these circus
ring leaders, and just rather use our own discretion on the roads? Please
people! Let’s just remember…and I
say, let’s, as though I belong in
that drunken driving community.
O_o! I don’t but there is strength
in numbers. Ima be a make-believe one for now. Yep! I
love us that much. Now?
You…love us too and do your
best to keep a level head while
you’re intoxicated, alright? By that, I mean,
ask your friends and family to hide ya
car keys and make it your duty to tell
them that should you begin to perform
about who’s car it is, to slap you twelve times in your mouth, sixteen times on both ya eyes, so that you have no choice but
to shut up and sleep!
Just because the
hand of foolishness has been
extended? There’s no law that states, we’re to grab ahold of it!
Be
safe out there. I always found that key words are easier to remember
than entire sentences. So here are some to help you along. You’re welcome to print them out and make keycards if you need. Give your
family as gifts even!
Family/Friend
Hide Keys
Cause scene
SMACK!
Twelve times mouth
Sixteen times both eyes
Shut up
Sleep
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