PASSPORT AFFAIRS

Wellllllllllllllllllll!!!  That was a bust!  Ehhhh, half-a-bust.  Not a breast bust.  Like in things didn’t completely work out according to plan, bust.  At least one of you are sighing about, ”What is she on about now?”

This….

Paige, Cruz and I visit the Home Affairs to apply for passports for her and Damon.  Before I go any further, lemme just say…a visit to the Home Affairs is like voluntarily sticking out your toes while being held captive by someone who has a fetish for removing toenails with a plias. 

So?  Off we go.  Things are going great.  We got there in one piece.  The security let us in with our puppy.  Place was empty.  I’m thinking, “What luck is this?!  Whooooo-hooooo!  At this rate, I wouldn’t mind coming to apply for more passports.  Pity I don’t have any other kids man, dammit!”  At the passport window…#8 to be precise, I look to the right and they’ve stuck this notice on the glass, right.  Hell!  They even laminated it!  This was serious!  Plus…wait for it…………………………….it was typed!

It starts off with, "Before you stand in line for a passport application, make sure you have the following..." 

Translation

"LOOK, YOU TRAVEL-DOCUMENT-APPLICATION-MAKING MUTHA@*#!  DON'T BE WASTING OUR TIME COMING HERE!  JOINING THE DAMN LINE!"

And then with a softened voice, "Without the following..." :-/ 

Call me sensitive.  But I thought that was a teeeeeeeny tiny bit confrontational.  You know what?  There really isnt a need for notices to have attitudes.  It’s unbecoming.  Of-of notices.  To lack, you know, friendly tones.  Especially, since they forgot to list a few requirements.  There I was, with an envelope with my documentation tucked tightly under my arm, staring at the typed, laminated page, trying to figure out if there’s a chance that manners might ever make a comeback! 

I was psyched, nonetheless.  If you’ve ever been to one of our Home Affairs offices, you’d know that being there and realizing that you’re next in line within the first fifteen minutes of walking in?  That’s a lot to be excited about.  Annnnnnd then? 

It was my turn. 

I was polite. 

She was stern. 

I took out my documents, thinking, “She reminds me of someone.” 

She was none-the-wiser about my thoughts while awaiting my documents. 

I hand her the documents, thinking, “Ohhhh yeah!  She looks like that actress who played the dying mother and the children who didn’t really like each other anymore.”

She asked me who it was that was applying for the passport. 

I tell her. 

She ruins my day. 

I am helpless!

You'd think that if a notice can have that much buck?  That along with the ID document and birth certificate and copies of ID document and birth certificate requirements?  They'd include, “bring father and child, (no copies required)” as well. 

So ofcourse, I couldn’t get Damon’s done, but because Paige is eighteen now, she gets to sign for her own application.  Hence the half-a-bust!  At least now, I know what to expect next time I go there.  Last I put my foot in the Home Affairs office was after my divorce when I booked my ticket to the US, without realizing that my passport had expired!  >_<!  Carriage before the horse syndrome.  I’m cured now.  And this time, I can’t afford to make any mistakes.