Wrapped in Tricks

D'you know what I did today? Wished that I knew what youuuuuu were doing today! Okay, okay, you got me! That wasn't my wish. Ya Rambler was way too busy falling in love! Yep! You read me right! I fell in love affffffffffter I went to the bank, grocery shopping, unpacked, vacuumed and washed the dishes! See, you gotta get ya to-do list outa the way first. Thennnnn, you're free to have ya heart captured. Some of us? We do things the other way around, things don't work out, and if you're that "blame it all on someone else" type, then we blame our ex-partners for our own choices. Sometimes, even to the point of blatant lying jusssssssss to make yourself look and feel better. Tsk tsk tsk. That's not how it's done. But if you're one of those who takes responsibility for their own choices? Then go on ahead and fall in love before you do the groceries! You'll be alright!

Aren't you happy for me, though? It's been a while since I've felt this. He clung to me and held onto my finger! Tight! Put his silky soft cheek against me while I held him close.....

Annnnnnnnnnd?

He's just three days old. Uh-huhhhhh, got you there, didn't I? You were expecting some juicy, torrid, love story, weren't you?! Well? Sorry to disappoint you....I met my beautiful nephew this afternoon for the very first time!

Hey, can I ask you something real quick.....What is it about holding a newborn baby that makes you think about the time you willingly wrapped your entire body in clingwrap? That ever happen to you? I was sitting there oooooooh-ing and aaaaaaaah-ing and suddenly?! Visions of myself in clingwrap laying on my mums couch start crowding my thoughts! O_O! Maybe its because I was trying to lose the baby weight after Paige was born? She's nineteen tomorrow! And because I was holding baby Juan, it triggered off memories of one of the stupiD-IST moments in my life? You think? Or or or, how about this.....Maybe it was because....>_<! Nope! That's it. That's all the maybe's I got.

I wonder if we have a brainstorm session on dieting? I wonder if we can actually count the number of tricks that women, AND men, have tried through the ages, just to lose weight, when all it really takes is eating right and exercising.

For me? THAT's the tricky part right there! Not the clingwrap trick, or the drinking seaweed juice trick, haven't tried that one, but there's still time...what about eating nothing but grapes for weeks on end? That one? I think I made it through half the day.

When I see "Best results when combined with a kilojoule restricted diet" My immediate response is, "Aaaaaaargh, way toooooooo many restrictions there, nexxxxxxxxxxt!?" When I read the label and it says, "Best results when combined with exercise" The next words outa my mouth are, "You know what? I don't feel thaaaaat fat afterall!" Off to the sweet isle to reverse the effects of having to read such traumatising statements!

Look? Man cannot live on eating right and exercise, alone! Chocolate has to feature sommmmmmewhere in there. It's only fair! I refuse to believe that I was put on this earth, NOT to eat chocolate, or?!? Or to exercise with weights and all. What's that all about?!?! Wrapping myself in clingwrap and sweating to a standstill wasn't part of the plan too, I'm sure. But hey? If you haven't pretended to be left-over roast chicken at least ONE time in your life? Then clearly you have. Not. Lived!

I didn't lose weight laying there like peeled carrot that would be used for tomorrows dinner, shocker, but I gave it my best shot! I perspired as best as I could! That's called effort! And a waste of clingwrap. Did I tell you how gorgeous my nephew is? He has these dimples, and this cleft and a mouth you just wanna stare at while you lay there like a clingwrapped mummy. It'd take your mind off hoping and praying that your boyfriend didn't choose to surprise you with an early visit!
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