Either way, my house smarts have since convinced me to just let sleeping children lie. As stubborn as I am, I do take it's advice at times. I figured, eh! That's how I start out every single one of my figurings. EH!
It doesn't give it a dramatic effect per say but it does add to the moment. So remember that when you feel as though you're about to figure. Couple that with a short, sharp exhale-laugh typa thing, like HA, but you don't say HA, you say EH while you HA! O_o! Anyone aside from me, now totally confused?
Hold on a moment...I gotta try it to make sure that I've explained it as best as I could. Explanation clarity has become pretty important to me lately. Being on two different pages about the same thing can waste you a lot of years. Believe me. Excuse me for just a one second....................................................................................................................................................Yup! That's it. I was right, you EH! While you HA!
Now?
Your turn! Go on. Don't worry about who's sitting next to you. If they ask why you're tryna bring on hiccups? Tell'm that you'll tell'm when they're figuring. If they ask figure what? You can do one of two things. One? Tell'm, "Notchya business." Or two? Swerve the vehicle and begin yelling out random words like, "overhead projector!" That oughta get them to either sit and stare straight ahead, pissed off at you for being a rude carpool host orrrr to lose their focus on you in order to start feverishly searching for falling visual equipment.
Anyhooooooooo......I figured, Eh, if one has street smarts, then they get to do things like avoid coming home with a black eye that they've gotten out on the streets, right? That would then mean that my house smarts can help me avoid walking the streets with one that I got in my home. See? It pays to be smart.
So, in the midst of my temptation, it told me, in that, "something said to me" sorta way that if I were to wake the lot of them up? That instead of it having a joy-sharing effect? My elation might be cut short if out of reflex, Randyl decided to fling her wifi modem in the direction of her bedroom door while I stood there, clapping my hands and stomping my feet. That it wouldn't matter at that point as to how happy I was and whether I knew it or not. I'd still have to drive my swollen-eyed deflated ass to the medi-centre.
As I type this? It's 4.25am. I hear aeroplane sounds which I assume are flying saucers because we really shouldn't be hearing aeroplanes after the relocation of our airport to what feels like, another province! The only reason that I was listening that intently was 'cause since I couldn't share my joy with my household, (purse my lips at stupid english word) I was trying to listen for the chirps of birds. They're supposed to CHIRP when I'm happy, DAMMIT! Lazy ass birds! But then, it wassssss a public holiday yesterday. Must all be laid out somewhere! Drunk or high. Or something.
Haaaaaaahahhahahha..a-hem! Sorry, just laying here, imagining what it would be like to watch a drunk bird. Probably, Flyyyyy.....DOOOOOOF! FLYYYYYYY......DOOOOOOOF!!
Note to self: You-tube drunk birds! Judging from some of the outrageous video's that Dave's sent to me lately? Someone sommmmmewhere musta come across a bird with a drinking problem.
Kinda reminds me of that one Christmas day I told y'all about, some time back where my cousin or uncle or whatever he is, I forget. There's just soooooh much family in my family! He was so drunk that all we heard from inside was, THUD! THUD!! He didn't bounce. He fell twice, in succession. Funny thing is? He left my grans house with all of his teeth. -_- I can't talk for everyone but personally, I find that extremely suspicious.
Drunk people? They act all unaware and incoherent but when they fall? You watch at the next party! That hand stays up in the air, in a very coherent attempt to save that drink! To hell with the plate of food in your hand. 'Cause then it becomes your fault for sitting and eating in a place where a drunk relative could fall. Watch, the drink hand. Or like in my cousin-uncles case? The face. Watch how it remains perched as they hit the ground. The way that it appears to me is? As drunk as they are, they sommmmmehow remember that they either have no medical insurance or they remember that they have a fear of dentists.
And ofcourse, my initial suspicion of the behavioural patterns of the intoxicated person stems from that fool ass "a drunk person speaks a sober mind" myth. HOW?!? When they're drunk? Their minds are drunk. Their reflexes are drunk! Their eyes are drunk. Everything. Everything's drunk, it's not as though your body gets to choose, "Okay, I've been drowned in alcohol but I choose for my right arm to remain sober!" No! Theeeee entire body unites in drunkness! All for drunk and drunk for all.
I thought I was clever two weeks ago and decided to be all spontaneous, despite my years of knowledge and experience on the subject of me being "allergic to liquor". I ignored it all and had a glass of strawberry lips anyway. The only choice I had was to take an allergex for the sinus attack that lasted two days. You think that if we did have a choice as to which parts of our bodies will get drunk, that it wouldn't have been my allergies? Uhmmmmmmmmmm-hmm!
Drunk man speaks a sober mans mind. Hog. Wash. The obvious truth is that they just say things they won't normally say when they're sober because the alcohol has a numbing effect and if they happened to get their ass beat for saying some outa line whatever, then depending on how drunk they are? The level of pain goes from "didn't feel a damn thing" to "is that all you got?"
Sent via my BlackBerry from Vodacom - let your email find you!
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