3-DAY Military Diet: Day One

Yesssss!  Yes, I'm at it again!  >_<!  Don't judge 'cause if IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII don't do these things?  Then how will you know whether or not they work?!  Thaaaat's it.  Be nice.

So, Sharde' and I start the diet today.  The morning went great.  Had to have a slice of wholewheat toast, 2 tablespoons of peanut butter and a cup of black tea or coffee.  I was smiling all the way to the sink!  The dishes won't walk there themselves!

Come
lunch
time?!?!

We had to have a can of tuna.  A slice of wholewheat toast and a cup of black tea or coffee.  Doesn't sound so bad, does it?!!  My mouth?  My mouth was giving in.  Like it was ready to give up 42 years of chewing knowledge just so that it didn't have to deal with that---that----uuuuurgh!  Look, I love tuna, with mayo and chilli.......tuna on the f&%$n rocks!?!?!?!?!  

NO!

I sent Sharde' a message to tell her, "Lawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwd help me with this tuna!!!!"  You know when you're in such a struggle to either chew or swallow that your eyes begin to water?!?!?  My memory was frantically trying to dive over the tuna torture of years passed with this VERY same diet but my taste buds grabbed it by the collar and yanked it back, "Ohhhhhhh f%$# no!  You, will, not, leave, me, here, to, die, alone!"

O_O!

That was me!

She hadn't started her tuna punishment as yet!

No sooner do I manage a swallow!  My phone whatsapp message tone goes off and I read her message, "OMG!!!!!!!!!  All I'm saying to myself is vanilla ice cream, vanilla ice cream!"  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  I reply with, "Me tooooo, I was tryna convince myself that it was prawns!"

Needless to say?  Lunch was a horror!  Meanwhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhile!  Back on the military diet site?  I go snooping around for some kind of light at the end of the tuna tin and find out that we coulda used salt, pepper or any other zero calorie seasoning!  Nevermind that Sharde' DID ask me if we could and I told her, ('cause it issssss the military diet afterall) "It doesn't say we can use salt or pepper."  I coulda whipped my damn self.  But I'm not a fan of pain.  Well, not that kind anyway, hehehehe!

Tonight we're having banana and green beans and some type of meat.  No seriously.  It says, some type of meat.  -_-!  I think a small apple and vanilla ice cream.  No seriously.  It says, a cup of vanilla ice cream.

I'll be back to report on dinner!