Immediately after consuming an entire grapefruit! (thaaaat's better, now I sound all starch-pantied instead of like a lying sack-a grapefruit!) Seeeeeds and all....'Cause I'm a rebel. You shoulda been there! How? Is not important! Train, plane, automobile? You'd have been able to witness the apparent struggle between good and evil on the edge of either of my shoulders. Me? I mean, everything except the shoulders of me? We made sure to stay out of it. But?
Nobody won. :-) Clearly.
On second thought? Like the invisible consolation prize that allllll losing contestants in any kind of competition get to clutch, hold close, take home and set on their shelves? "We're alllll winners!" No. We. Are. Not. We are allllll contestants! Until we win and when we don't? Then we are contestants who have lost. Meanwhile, behind the tearful agreeable nods by the losing "winners"? I know exactly what at least one of them are thinking. "Yuppp! That's probably why I'm holding aiiiiiir! And that person, with the gleaming smile? Is holding a big, shiny trophy!"
There really can only be one winner. Unless it's a tie. Like in the case of my shoulders.
Trot with me, will ya, to this side of my bed so that we have enough room to look back at what happened next, in my office! Look back. You're? Not looking back. I know it's a blank wall! Just?!? Look back! Errrrrrrrrrrrrrr! It's still blank 'cause I'm arguing with you about the position of your head instead of colouring the wall with my imaginative mind-crayons!
........................Okay! Now? Watch closely while I bring that wall to life!
As the day progressed from mid-morning to afternoon? An eery wind began to blow. Somewhere else. Dammit! I sohh wish it was outside my office window, 'cause it woulda made my story that much better! But? I will make do with grey clouds. Grey clouds began to blow. Not-not quite! Grey clouds hovered above me. Mannnnnnnn!??? So, you're seriously gonna ask me whether I have a roof over my office? Why did I invent you? Of all the people to invent? I choose to invent a stubborn question mark! Smh!
Back in my roof-covered office.......I did make it my duty to...follow instructions. Nod, if you can you see me making it my duty. When one shoulder told me to eat the grapefruit, I did. Once I was done? I washed my hands and returned to my desk, preparing to resume work. I had deadlines. To my utter surprise? Utter! The other shoulder told me to open my drawer, remove the chocolate, open the wrapper and eat it? So? I did. Can you see me didding? Hey! Ask my teachers. Not from Grade Five. I al-ways listened. I saw no reason for that to change just because my instructors were now my shoulders!
Ofcourse? Because I knew it was wrong? I protested. Silently. Bitter grapefruit remnants prevented me from being as vocal as I should have been!! I even said, tsk tsk tsk, to myself. Can you see the bitterness preventing me from vocalising? Jussssss checking whether you're following......me protesting sohh silently, that I couldn't even hear myself over the chocolate melting upon my tongue. Now? Can you see how the frown lines are slowly disappearing?
But do you know something? And this is a perfect example of the glass-half-full kinda thinking. You know why I forgave myself? Because the whole experience taught me something valuable. It would just be wrong to be angry at myself for learning something valuable. Same as if you trip and twist your ankle and you end up with one leg looking like you traded it with an elephant in a moment of alcoholic intoxication at the zoo! Can you see the drunk elephant with one of your legs? I love it when my wall fills up with images you wouldn't ordinarily see in real life!
I can tell you right now that you shouldn't be angry at that phantom brick because you were too busy texting. And why? Because it taught you something valuable. To pay attention to phantom bricks that just might be lying on the floor of your bathroom when you're alone at home. Now you're having to sit there, naked, until someone comes to rescue you, naked, trying to figure out how to build a brick from soap and facecloths, naked, just because you don't wanna seem like an idiot who tripped over your own feet, naked. Well? At least you can still text.
The universe? In this little period of learnership, per say? Gave me a first-hand lesson on what the actual meaning of "a bittersweet moment" is. So?! I-I embraced the experience! And moved past the guilt so that I could give back to the universe. Now I can shimmy on forth and teach it to the world.
................Or just to my readers.
Let's be honest. I can't teach the world. Unless there was a natural disaster and for some unknown reason, only my blog readers were spared. I'd be the new Noah, then. You know that, right?
So now? If I'm having a conversation with someone? And the subject comes up? I can get right in there and add my own personal experience to it. Therefore, adding value to the conversation! Wow? Now that I'm reflecting on it? I'm really getting to see the extremely far-reaching effects of value! Like a dominoe effect of value. I so value my shoulders right now. In fact? The next conversation I have? I think I'm gonna secretly steer it towards a bittersweet subject, 'cause now I'm just excited!
Sent via my BlackBerry from Vodacom - let your email find you!
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