Springing in the Rain

Well?  Isn’t Spring just a confoooooozed liTTooooL season...yessss it izzzzzzz!!?  Yesssss, it izzzzzzzzzz!!!  Spring is glaring at me like, “Get away from me, mortal!  I’m not a gurgly four month old baby, you idiot!”  How rude!  O_o!  Exactly!  That's the face of Spring!  Rain and cold!  The capital O is rain and the small o is cold.  “But Rambler?  What is the underscore?!?!” you ask?  That is my total dismay for the way in which it has presented itself!  Hmmmmmmph!  And now I have no choice but to sulk……………………..

Then quickly realize that although cute, my pouting changes nothing.  So I’ve decided to direct my energy towards educating foreigners.  In case you haven’t happened by this on the internet while trying to somehow confirm whether each of us really do ride elephants to and from work?  Spring begins on September first in South Africa.  Every single year.  That very first day of September?  Is called Spring Day.  I know, right?!?  ClevvVvverness!  I've never once wondered how they came up with that name. 

And now?!?  Let’s all let that sink in while we take a break from learning and go back to whining.  Just when I thought it was safe to feel warm and...springy?!  Spring happened!  Now?  Winter’s gone?  And I'm still being forced to wear wool……..says the woman who wears jeans to the beach.  But that's different!  Don't argue!  It just is.  It's a choice!  This?  Is not!  The only warmth I'm feeling is from the aggravation of realizing that my car licence was due at the end of July.  I’d now like to take a sarcastic moment to thank the Motor Vehicle department for not sending me the reminder!  Your kindness knows no end.  Penalties: yet another way that the government makes free money off of us.  I was searching penalty fees on the net just now and they tried to tell me that it’s my duty to know when my licence is due.  Puleeeeeeze?  Have you evvvvver?!?!?!  It’s my duty to avoid accidents and drive carefully while basking in the comfort of knowing that these guys have my back as far as reminding me when they need me to pay them for a new licence!  Shirkers!  :-\ 

As much as I don’t have it?  I kinda like order.  Orderly things, like…Summer must be hot.  Reminders must be posted off to vehicle owners!  Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!  Winter must be cold.  My hips should not grow in my sleep!  Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!  Spring must be bright.  I should be in bed in this weather!  Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!  Autumn must be crisp.  You know?  Like that!  Order!  However?  With the current state of affairs?  I might as well be meowwwwwing and have a fat grey cat sit cross-legged on my bed, writing my blog!  Roles and responsibilities are allllllll messed up! 

Listen to that rain?  It's as angry as the late, great, Bernie Mac's eyes sometimes are at each other!  Where within those irate moments of them folding their arms across their chest....mmmmmmm?!?  I’m well aware of that but admit it?  They'd fold them if they had arms.  And turn their backs.  No, not backs.  Pupil's!  Towards each other?  Goodness?!?!?  What the hell was I getting at?!!!!!!!!  I honestly need to get a handle on that.  No wonder they’re not sending me my vehicle licence renewal.  They’re tryna tell me something.  Something like, “Please stop operating heavy machinery in public?  You can’t even drive a story to its point.” 

Alllllllllllllllll I was trying to explain to you wassssss?  The dilemma that I find myself in at times.  Last night was one of those times.  The Bernie Mac Show started.  I sat up straight because I enjoy paying attention to him.  He is hilarious!  But I always find myself touching my ear and shooting quick, questioning, glances to side of me...almost self-consciously.  There are times that I even shift over a bit.  ‘Cause, sometimes?  His eyes....fight.  Sometimes they refuse to work as a team.  I don’t know if they’re having soundless tiffs about whether there’s place for both of them in his face or what?  One wants to be the main eye, or...?  Suggestions are welcome!  But it’s during those periods that I say to myself, “If there were no television screen right now?  And I was sitting right in front of him?  Man, I wish he was still alive and there really was no television screen ‘cause that’s one man I would’ve loved to have met in person.  Jusssssst to hear him say, ‘Sum-ma-ma-b@#th’ in person!  Jusssssst to experience the confusion first-hand about whether he was looking at my right eye and my left ear.  Simultaneously?” 

Someone needs to have a stern talk with these seasons.  God?  I’m thinking that you might have to take this one.  I usually send Wendy in to do the hardcore jobs, but she’s complaining about the weather too, so I’m guessing she’s not having any luck with threatening the elements either!  You’d think that making up songs would get us heard?  “Rain, rain go away, come another washing day..."  And all of that.  "It's rainnning men...hallelujah..."  Inappropriate but?  Can you picture that?  Raining men?  Flora wouldn't benefit, that's for sure!  Instead?!  Beds of roses would be crushed back into the soil from whence they came!  Then there’s,  "…Sinnnnnnnging in the rain..." 

Nnnnnnnnnnnn...I think, strike that last one.   

Singing equates happiness.  At least, it does to me.  And my cousin, Alison!  We won’t mention Gillian.  She gave Luther Vandross a bad name in New York.  Haaaaahahahahahaha!!!!!!  I can still hear it.  She sounded more like Lorraine Vandross.  But even when I'm belting out sad songs, I'm happy.  Just as a matter of interest though?  You didn’t express any, but freezing brings out my generous side.  ;-)  I firmly believe that I could’ve been a very successful singer.  Interesting huh?  Jusssssss needed a good enough singing voice!  And a record deal.  Orrr?  Milli Vanilli's sense of bravery!  Not sure how I would conquer my shyness but I’m convinced if that if I sang well enough, my fans wouldn’t have minded if I stood behind the curtain.

That’s why I said to strike that “singing in the rain” song!  The very last thing we need is to give Spring a false sense of security in thinking that we’re happy…oh so happy with this rain that when we hear the ratatatat of wet drops on the carport?  We then sprint outside to purposely get drenched while the raindrops fill our open mouths and warp our soprano pitch.  Dunno about you and half the people who audition for Idols?  But my soprano pitch is naturally warped.  I don't need a mouthful of raindrops to prove it!