Antibarfotic

Place in middle of palm, close hand for safe keeping, open hand, eye it, sighhhhh, close hand again, sit down, set it on counter, eye it again, sip on glass of water, check bbm's, psyche yourself up, pick up gracefully between thumb and index finger, inspect it, sighhhhhh, sip on glass of water, mentally curse makers of terrorist tablets, stand up, reply to bbm's, sip on glass of water, open mouth, try to put in mouth, fail, sighhhhhh, set it back on counter, eye it once more, will it to disappear...somehow, it doesn't, pick up between thumb and index finger for hopefully the last time, set it at back of tongue, drink water fast, skew face as if you just drank rats urine!

That?!? My ever-faithful readers, are the imaginary instructions that Paige reads on the box of medication she's getting ready to take. Tonight? Lucky for us, we were in the kitchen when first, she took a picture of all her meds. Then sat and went through most of the above steps but this time?!? And pay attention since this is the reason why I say we were lucky. As witnesses, we learnt a valuable lesson on how not to...thank you sugar! 'Cause she did something verrrrrrrrrrrrry different this time! A brand spanking new technique that she picked up from, ay, O_o! I dunno where!?!?

Lemme tell ya! Where normally she'd carefully set it on the furthest point at the back of her tongue while her pinky sticks out like the queen and her tea cup?!? This time? The girl flung that sucker so far down her oesophagus, that while she then took a swig at the glass of water, she was like heaving...uuuuuuuuaargh...uuuuuuuuuaargh...!

Ofcourse? I did what any caring, nurturing parent would do while their daughter sits there gagging on an antibiotic. I burst out laughing! Damon followed suit. That's my boy! Soon as things returned to a somewhat normal state in her throat?!? It was a quick recovery, by the way! After the uuuuuuuuaargh...uuuuuuuuuuuuargh part, she too couldn't help but laugh and then she says, "Which mother laughs at their child when they're about to throw up."

...........................................Me.

In all fairness, I did offer to break it in half for her. I wasn't laughing when I did that. It was a sincere gesture of motherly love. Her argument was, "Then I'll have to take it twice!" I couldn't deny the logic in that, plus I had things I needed to do. Imagine going through those steps twice?!?! Annnnnnnnd, I even went one step further and got a little creative in my efforts to assist. I told her to imagine it as a sweet that she likes and just pop it in there. "I don't really like sweets..." >_<!

I tried again. Desperation and reality'd begun kicking in, so against my better judgement, I offered another option....Okay then, a cigarette! "It doesn't go in my mouth."

O_o

....I gave up on the imagining of things at that point and decided to just let the cards fall where they may.

Then came time for the herbal drops. This part, surprisingly, went a lot smoother. However, she did ask, "Who came up with herbal medication????" I told her, the herbalists. I put absolutely no thought into that answer, whatsoever. My brain was still too busy laughing its ass off about the whole, open, fling..._uuuuuuuaaaargh...uuuuuuuuuargh fiasco.
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