Heed The Whisper

If I was me a few months ago?  I wouldn't be who I am today. 

How's that for a pre-birthday speech?   

And now!  Too bad I’m not planning a huge shindig.  I coulda used that as my opening line while I stand up on stage in front of family and friends, with my face red and hot, embarrassed to a standstill, giving my birthday speech.  Hmmmmm?  On second thought.  Thank God, I’m not planning a huge shindig! 

Nevertheless………Welcommmmmmme!!! 

Welcome!  To my birthday month.  ^_^!  Have yaself a seat, hmmm-mmmM! 

This year?  Mainly due to the fact that when I think about it, my heart starts sprinting like a steroid-pumped, over-fit, 100m Olympic runner?  I've made it a point to forget age and focus on energy!  Somehow, some way?  I have more of it now than I know what to do with!  Did that happen to you around this time of your life?  Maybe I should join the gym…..No?!?!  Good answer. 

Meanwhile, back in the streets of New York City?  My dance teacher’s running willllllllllllllllllld somewhere on Broadway!  So ofcourse, we haven’t danced in ages.  Laaaawd, please don’t come back with New York style push-ups.  My energy cannot be spent that way!  Nobody’s energy should be spent that way!  If I became Exercise Ruler of the World?  Lmao!  Doubtful on every level, but if I did?  The only thing related to a push-up anything, would be a bra.  Useful, comfortable and painless.  That’s the kinda life we all should be after, right?! 

Why do I feel this energetic, I repeat, but not for push-ups!?  Well…might be that I no longer have to stress about every little thing.  Might be that I've stopped having to check myself twenty-four-seven!  Might be that I’ve ceased being weighed down by the past!  Might be that I'm not working my ass off anymore for people’s approval. 

Orrrr?!? 

It just might be that this season puts a Spring in your step!  Simple as that!

Who knows?  Just like with anything, there are many-a-might-be.  Shoulda, woulda, coulda, and all of those Brian McKnight tracks.  But, come to think of it?  I actually do know.  Aside from everything else where it feels as though I can finally just be me...Me feels more worthy and appreciated than I ever did!  (curtsy) And that feeling right there?  It motivates me to do even more! 

Not sure about you, but I can’t thrive in a stressful environment where all you feel that is happening, is test after test, judgement after judgement, constantly fixing this and fixing that even when you didn’t know that you were breaking something.  No.  Harmony’s not only a female’s name.  It’s a need too.  I am a lot more comfortable amongst my own kind.  And I don’t mean, South African Coloureds.  I mean allllllllllll colour people that I can connect with on at least some level. 

Lessons sure can be learnt the hard way at times, but what matters is that they are learnt.  Admittedly, over recent years, I’ve spent a lot of time, doing my best to be someone I’m not.  Guess what?  Scoot on over here and I’ll tell you a secret.  The only place that train heads to is, Failure Farm.  So, ofcourse.  I failed.  See?  Unless you’re being hunted down by angry mobsters who believe that you have they black briefcase?  Then okay…by all means, be someone you’re not.  That’s the only time it’ll probably work to any kind of advantage.  But when you’re doing it, just to fit in? 

Fail. 

Fail. 

Annnnnnnnnnd? 

Fail. 

I have some advice for you.  When your instincts speak up?  Listen!  Mine have resorted to cursing me in eleven official languages.  And they’ve finalllllllly gotten my attention.  Don’t wait for that, though.  Go with ya gut!  Relent to the prodding!  Give in to ya cravings!  Uhhhhhhhh?  Strike that last one.  Chocolate has no bearing whatsoever on this particular topic.  But at least you know what's on my mind at six in the morning.  Or six in the evening.  Or six minutes passed every six hours of the day! 

Oprah, at her South African show yearrrrrrs ago, called it, life's whispers.  Which always made sense to me but then at some point I erroneously regarded them as insignificant.  They're not.  They're your silent guides to what feels right and what doesn't.  To what is and what’s not.  And when something no longer feels right, it simply means that you need to start walking in the opposite direction. 

You know like when you’re in the path of a pitbull, and its tongue’s hanging out.  It’s staring at you, while dripping pitbull saliva all over the floor?  You seriously wouldn’t be listening to your life’s whispers if for one minute, you believe that it was admiring your Adidas sweatsuit.  No.  If there’s a tree?  Climb it!  If there’s a wall?  Scale it!  Do anything but please…do not walk lovingly towards the salivating savage as if you’re two long-lost Bollywood lovers in a field of grass and daisies!  That’ll get ya ass bitten.  Badly too!