We've, A-hem...we've just had our own president make a speech. Sweet. Jesus! They do that sometimes. As presidents. I just wish that someone would duck tape this one's mouth when he gives even the slightest indication that he plans on opening it. Shewwwww!!!!! O_o! This is the situation.
He opened it.
Again!
In my Donald Trump voice? Minister of Prevention! You're firrrrrrrrred!!!!!!!!!!!
There are times that I question whether I'm in a circus or whether the president gods are just playing a cruel and unusual trick on us. On one hand we have his former mini-me telling us Coloureds that if his party is voted in the next elections? We can fish without worrying about needing a permit. I'm sure many celebrated that day! Yeah! Hmmm-M! I'm sure many vomited uncontrollably too. Following that, he tells the Whites that they shouldn't be afraid of Blacks IF they're willing to share! Following that! He tells the Blacks that they shouldn't be afraid to fight the White people!
WHATTTTT!?!? I got stuck. There! Which is why I can't for the life of me remember what he said the Indian people could look forward to if he was to become president.
He then says...do not pay for the e-toll in Johannesburg, when they ask for your money? Show them your red beret. SoH cool, huh?!? I wonder if that'll work for any of the other bills we have to pay.
"Sir, that'll be R500!"
"No."
"Ha?"
"No!"
"Sir. You can't pass here without paying!"
"But?!? But Malema said! Look! Look! I have a red beret!"
"Nice. I have a shirt to match that. R500 please?!?"
"But he #*?/@+ said it in a speech! If you say something in a speech! Then it's law! He said I don't have to pay you! I can just show you my cap, sorry beret, and you'll let me through?!?"
"Did you also embroid STUPID on your beret?"
"Ha?"
"Pay or stay! How! It's lunch time now! You making me late for lunch time! Just think! Like another kind of person and pay up!"
"No!"
"Eish...this one?!? This is a stubborn one!" While he calls the cops to arrest your red-beret-flashing ass!
Our president. On the other hand, says that people should not think like Africans, just pay the e-toll. Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahhahahhaha!!! Let's all take a moment to remember that should you be kidnapped, he is not the negotiator that you want pleading your release! Not even if you're a mouse trapped between a cat and a hard place! Classic! Foolishness.
"But mr. president? I am African."
"You're African, yes. But don't think you are when you have to pass the e-toll."
"How can I do that when I am an African?"
"Easy. Just don't think. Just pay."
"I don't earn enough to afford the e-toll."
"Then don't think like a broke African too. Just pay, there are e-tolls all over the world. We must also have one. Why shouldn't we also have one?!"
"Because your people can't afford one?"
"So? That's not my fault. Just pay. Just pay, that's all."
"Even if I won't have money for petrol to even pass the e-toll by the middle of the month?"
"Yes, even then. You think too much. That's why you don't have a lot of money. Always thinking! Think, less. And just do. That's what I do. See? I'm president of a country that you shouldn't think you're from."
"Is this the #*@!?-! twighlight zone?"
"Ha?"
So now? People that aren't African.....you lucky non-Africans you....If your president states, in a speech, that you should not think like the person you are! Not think as though you are from the country in which you were born and bred and still live JUST like the non-immigrant that you so unfortunately are, you know? The one that he runsssssss? Who exactly should us Africans think like?
........................Silence
I'll wait..............
I hear nary a speech.
Uhhhhhhhh-huh! Yeah. Just as a I thought! Look for answers and you get nothing but the sound of the ceiling fan! Look for bullshit statements in presidential speeches? Never. Ending!
How about we do this? Instead of thinking like, ohhhh I dunno....an Antarctican? How about we think like someone who has a brain, and realize that butter, milk and sugar in a plastic bag isn't enough to secure a vote! How about! Next election? We take a walk on the wild side and vote for someone who will never EVER for a minute believe that telling your people to discard something he should be convincing them to be proud of, hint freakin' hint, our nationality! And just pay the damn money, that......wait for it?!? They do not have to begin with!
So then? By the time one passes the e-toll point, they're not only broke, but they don't even know who they are anymore! Tsk tsk tsk...what a mighty president serves us!
N
O
T
Sent via my BlackBerry from Vodacom - let your email find you!
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