I'm not lonely! O_O! Who-who said I was lonely?! The life of a semi-hermit is farrrrr from lonely, lemme tell you-uuuu! There's a bed to sit on. A tv to watch. A passage to walk up and down in. A laptop to type on. Walls to make you feel enclosed. Or protected. Let's go with protected. Enclosed sounds like I need therapy. Tea to drink. Music to sing to. I could go on.
I have a confession to make. Real people...kinda scare me. For real. Real people that I've never met before, scare me. Come to think of it, it's not the real people that scare me. It's having to meet them, in any form, for the first time that scares me. It's like that very first kiss. I get all anxious and sweaty-palmed and what if...what it...what if?!? Funny enough, I never stress about tripping and falling. Hmmmmmmmm?
Especially one on one. I prefer meeting new people with company. With someone I'm comfortable with. Nuuuu-uhhh! Not because I don't like people, I really do like people. Mainly the ones who can make me laugh 'til I cry. But 'cause it takes the focus off of me completely. Not compleeeeeetely, completely but like the focus is not on me completely. O_o! Not completely onnnnn me.
Aaaargh, shy people out there?!? You at least have my back on this topic, don't you? Crazy fact: Once I've gotten through it though, it's never eVer as bad as I thought it would be, so the anxiety that it causes is never worth it. That's what you call stressing in vain. And somehow knowing THAT, from most of my, real people that I've never met before, experiences? It doesn't make a sliver of a difference. I think maybe I was meant to be a Dear Rambler sorta communicator. Maybe? I'll never know. Unless?!? Unless a plague of laryngitis befalls us all. I was just telling Paige the other night, I've always wanted a voice like Demi Moore. That too will never happen. Unless I'm on the road to recovery from laryngitis or just on the road to it. (Shrug). Lary, I've given it a pet name. It's the least I can do since Lary sure seems to be able to make all of my dreams come true. Ha!
That's just one out of a hundred reasons why you will never hear me tell you on here that I just been out on a date. Granted, I've been married before. I've been in a long distance relationship in recent years too, as you all know and as hard as those are? I got comfortable with it and I guess because we'd spent so much time talking on the phone and on email, I'd gotten over that initial first time meeting fear. But that's over now. And yes, I'm more than alright with my single status. However, aside from the fact that it's the one thing that least interests me? Just the thought of going on a date with someone that I don't know like that, causes a reaction that I really can't explain. Just? Creeps me out. Date-a-phobia, if you will. I know, I knowwwww. I know that you have to actually GO on the date to get to that place where you know the person like that but...neooooooooooooooooh! Nope. No.
Either way, I've rambled on long enough. You're waiting for the reason that I've brought you all here today, aren't you? Yes? Okay. I've been having a few nightmares of late and it's caused me to, firstly, thank the good Lord that I woke in my bed, and secondly? Wonder just what the hell it all means. You know like when you dream of snakes, none of them had snakes in them, I'm just giving you an example. When you dream of snakes, then the dream decoder peeps say that, that means you have an enemy out in the real world.
So?!? If someone's constantly tryna hurt me or kill me in my dreams? Does that mean either;
a) I have a snake?
b) I'm gonna get a snake?
c) Want a pet snake?
d) Any-anything to do with a snake?
It can't mean that someone's actually tryna hurt or kill me because dreams don't mean what they say. They don't say. Sigh...dreams don't mean whatever you're dreaming about. So I'm not worried about that. It normally means the opposite. So I'm thinking that it means maybe somebody is constantly tryna;
a) Love me?
b) Like me?
c) Likes loving me?
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh! This dream stuff is so confusing.
Sent via my BlackBerry from Vodacom - let your email find you!
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