Dun, dun, dun, dunnnnnnnnn!!!!
Dun, dun, dun, dunnnnnn!!!!
I shall now resist the unmistakable urge to break out in a dance routine. I'm comfortable on this sofa. Although what I should be doing is rehearsing for the upcoming show in two weeks. But?!? I'm comfortable on this sofa. And extremely nervous about the show.
Meanwhile?!? My nephew gets married on the same day as the show right, so me?! Ya Rambler! And her cousin, Cindy, have to attend the ceremony, rush to the show venue, dance our lonnnng piece, five minutes is long when you're chronically shy and on a stage, and then head out to the wedding reception! Did I tell you that I'm nervous about the show? Yes! In case you missed it though, I'm nervous about the show! Actually, no I'm not! What I am is sweating freakin' bullets!
I know I'm being pretty mysterious about the mystery but bear with me. Y'all KNOW I'm easily sidetracked! Now?
Focus Rambler!
K, I'm focused! Lemme explain something to you. Coloured people? By Coloured people, I mean South African Coloured people. The pensioners?!! By pensioners, I mean our parents' generation? They're sneaky ol' peeps! And how do I know that? Well? 'Cause I'm slowly realizing that I'm becoming ona-a-them!
See? With my boy working with his dad for the holidays? It's just me and the dog.
One of my worst fears in life????????????????????????
Is growing old, alone, with a dog. Ehhhhhhh nope! It'd never be a cat. Uh-uhhhhh! I'm not a cat person. I wasn't a pet person either until Cruz! It's his eyes man! When I can see them, that is! They trick me into melting and he loves me so much and misses me and no matter how long I leave him home alone, he's still excited as hell to see me come home! How can I not love this little fellow? And then in the mornings when I'm relaxing before I leave and sitting on my phone? He will spring up next to me and literally pull my hand off of my phone with his paws and then rest them on my thigh.....like that! In the pic!
So now it's just him and I and I'm growing by the minute! We both are. But it's not affecting him! Nooooooooooh! It's not hissssss worst fear of his existence! It's mine. Lemme tell you about the sneakiness--------------Coloured parents? They're all about, "Stay home 'til you get married 'cause what you wanna waste money for? You could be saving! Getting your own place means buying fuuuuuurniture and fooooood and a washing machine! Electricity bills and what about the garden? You gonna clean it? Stay with us 'cause think about it?!? You come home from work and dinner's cooked, you're clothes are washed! Stay home."
And we! The Coloured offspring are blushing with the tip of our pointer fingers between our teeth like five year idiots swinging from side to side, thinking about how much we're treasured and then give into their sensible plea like, "That makes alota sense Ma, I think ima do that!" Especially as a female! Mo money mo clothing-------roooight?!
Righhhhhhht!
Meanwhile? I now know that's its less about saving money than it is about saving heartache! Their heartache! 'Cause right now, I feel heartsore! Lonely and heartsore and you know you've hit rock bottom when you begin talking to your dog! Who can't talk back except for bark bark. Who the fuck knows what he's saying?! Bark bark! Sometimes I bark back. (Shrug). Then he's probably the one asking himself, "What the fuck is she saying?" Maybe I'd feel better if I did know. We could become talking besties and he could give me tips on how to perfect my dance moves and wear matching chains or bandanas or something!
Sent via my BlackBerry from Vodacom - let your email find you!
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