Screeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeech!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Phew! Gimme a second to catch my breath...I’ve been
sprinting since my last post, trying
to get back here and I'm LATE?! I
know! But what matters is that I'm here,
right!? Right!? Rigggggght. NMH! Hmmmmmmmm? And now the only thing I'm wondering is? Who invented the word, nod. It's such a...short
word. Maybe someone with a short
neck? Long-necked people nod longer,
don't they? I'm sure they do. That's basic
mathematics. What nods up must nod
down. Unless you've fallen asleep in
Parliament. The laws of Mathematics
don't apply in Parliament. The laws of everything don't apply in
Parliament.
Haaaaaaaaaahahahaha...Look at you!
I see you over there. Testing
this theory! You're like, "What neck do I have? Noddddddd....." And yeah, the person to your left is looking at you crazy 'cause you do
come across like you haven’t taken your medication today! My advice?
Save yourself! Blame the Rambler. Point at your phone or your computer and say,
"It's her! She-she made me do it! With the nods and-and the long
necks...!" Just? Don't come looking for me if at that point
you're committed to a farrr away place with padded
walls and straps attached to your bed.
I'm jussssssst saying that if it were a long-necked person? The word woulda been, maybe, noddle...or something. I'm
noddling my head. Noddle if you
agree! Don't just noddle, say something!
Doesn't sound right, huh? Sounds
pretty kindergarten. It gives the
impression that you're head noddles like those ornaments where when you touch
the head, it bounces uppppp and down,
just cool like? Like you’re someone,
somebody calls dawg, you know....up
and dowwwwwwwn as if it's chilling to
some Snoop D.O.GG! Did you guys have one
of those? We did. Think it was a dog? As a child,
it’s addictive! It’s like you can’t
stop. You can sit there for hours
just...Tap...uppp, down...look around
to see if any adult is about to yell at you for touching ornaments...tap...upppp, down.
Happy November everybodddddy!
Unless you’re reading my blog from heaven or that other hot place? We've all safely reached the month of!!? Flabbergastion. Shhhhhhhhhhh!
Don't ruin it for me. I haven't
made up words in a lonnnnnnnnnnng time and you know how much fun I have doing that! Evidently, I've taken the liberty of giving
November a nickname because it’s alwayyyyys such a surprise when we’re
nearing Christmas? Why? December, on the whole,
comes after November? But when we get to
the first week of Flabbergastion? I hear
more than one human remark, like this "O_O!
Gasppppp! Christmas is next
month! O_O!" Have you seen that
look recently?
Looks just like a lotta people who suddenly realized they only have a month to paint their entire house and
buy new curtains! And maybe that tumble dryer they always
wanted. Not sure if that's just a Coloured thing or if all the colours of
people do it? But people always wait to
do big things when Christmas time
comes. Take it from me? Father Christmas won't bypass your house if
it's not smelling of drying
paint. I leave milk and cookies out for
him every year and... consume them myself.
Don’t tell. So there's proof that even without the new coat of
paint? He still brings Damon his
gift!
Saturday was Damon's dance show! The
kids were truly amazing! I have to admit
though? It did feel kinda strange to be in the audience this time since
normally I'm right there on the stage in the same show. Heart pounding and knees rattling to a
standstill. It’s damn hard to stand
still with your knees rattling, believe you, me! I was just saying that I must have chronic
shyness 'cause even if my family asks me to show them a routine, I start
sweatin' bullets. Can you picture
someone sweating actual bullets?!? Be
like, ting ting ting ting ting. People slipping and sliding on metal and
shit. Others scrambling for free
bullets.
That can't be normal? Just me,
but the people you're most comfortable with?
Should be your family! If there's any group of people you should
absolutely not care about looking idiotic in front of, it’s them!
Unless you have those that record your most embarrassing moments for
when you’re accepting very prestigious
awards and then suddenly a screen drops behind you and someone clicks play....Some of them have changed your
diapers at some point in your
life?!? And I'm hoping that hasn't been
any time in the near past 'cause that
would just be....? Uhm-hmmm! You know
what? I realize now that this was why when I took ballet as a
kid, I made sure never to do
exams. I was MIA come every single exam! Ay. You're up there alone? With a stranger watching you! Strangers shouldn’t watch you. Judging
you! Grading you! Writing things on a sheet with your name
on?
But if I didn't have the pics of me dancing on stage in front of people?
And really? There mighta been a
few cats in the audience too, I-I
wouldn't know! The truth is, if you
suffer from shyness? It’s the longest minute and a half of your
life. Yet you agreed to do it. Makes no sense. Why
did I agree to do it? I make no sense. I always picture myself tripping and then doing a forward roll and laying there posing,
like I’m s’posed to. ‘Til the dance
routine is over. Hasn’t happened yet and thank goodness, it won’t happen ever, since I’ve now hung up my dance
show shoes....I said show. Not class.
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