I think the ozone layer is yelling, "See? You earth full of ungrateful @+#*?/sssss!!!! THIS is what it's gonna be like when I'm gone!" I'm assuming that it's yelling because we're far. Far things yell at each other. In their own way. I speak on behalf of all the Durban inhabitants when I say, "We've learnt whatever it is you were trying to teach us! And we miss you....please come backkkkkkkkkkkkk! We promise to be friendlier and greener and......uhhhhhh? Environmental------er!" And just because 'tis the giving season? IF I ever have more kids? GULP! I promise to name my next child, Ozone! And if I name the one after that, Turbo? I will have paid my respects to one of the movies that inspired me as a young girl. To learn how to do the worm. On a paved surface. I could have seriously injured my future, but that's okay. I was inspired to!
Pssssssssssst! That whole naming of children thing? I-I didn't say that to the layer. That's why I took it out of inverted comas. THAT promise requires contemplation. Not to mention that I'm too old now. They no longer manufacture batteries for my biological clock! But, let me tell you? The heat in Durban has been nothing short of hellish over these past two weeks or three weeks! This is serious people! Me? I'm doing my part! I'm on Duromine! Figured if I lose my appetite? I'll make less trash!
How? You're asking, how? And see that? It's no wonder we're in the hot mess that we're in and being punished by atmospheric layers! But because I'm nice, enough! I'll explain! If I don't have an appetite? You following? Okay! If I don't have an appetite? I don't eat. Much. Result? I don't have to unwrap and discard lots of things. Nuh-uhhhhh! Sigh....you can't just blurt out things like that?! Stay with me now....Nottttttt gifts! Christmas is over! I'm talking about food! So, if I'm not hungry? I then don't eat assssss many items that are wrapped up in eco-unfriendly wrappers that I will have to ultimately throw into the trash! Annnnnd thereby? Let's alllllllllll say it together! Making morrrrrre trash! The environment will then be a better place, by however small a margin! Thanks to a thinner, no longer hungry, yours truly! There! Two birds were not killed with one stone in the explanation of my theory!
A-HHHEM! Three were!
And now? Since it's past 1.30am? It's been a while since I slept before 2.30am. I shall attempt to fall asleep while my body temperature soars to inexplicable heights through no fault of my own! See you in the morning.
31 December 2012
................................................................. It's now New Years Eve evening, and I'm simply amazed! I didn't even post this YET and there's wind and....? Waiiiiiiit for it..........grey clouds in the sky! Woooooooooo-hoooooooooo!
-__-!! I need a life. Really! I'm ecstatic about wind and grey clouds?!?! O_O! That's just sad! For someone who loves Summer as much as I do? Just shows. My cup of excitement is half empty!
OL, I nicknamed the ozone layer. Shhhhhhhhh, don't tell it. I've jusssst managed to calm it down enough to come out of hiding. OL must be able to either read minds or unposted blogs on cellphones! Even my front door was thrilled! It was like, "Bang! Bang! Bang!" I don't speak door but you live with one long enough? You kinda get to know it well enough to start recognising the mood "swings".
Uhhhhh? Meanwhile? Back at the...the...outside! I might have wished a little tooooooo hard 'cause it's now thundering. >_< Not. Cool! I mean, it IS cool. Just? It's not cool. All a Rambler wanted was a breeze! Not the background sounds of a horror movie. Hey!!!! Did I ever tell you guys that we saw how they make these sounds for the movies?
Mmmmmm-hmmmm! At Universal Studios in LA. You thought they have someone outside waiting for a storm with a recorder, didn't you? Me, neither! Anyway! Gareth, my nephew and I? We were screaming! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh! Well, I was screaming. The man said I must! 'Cause of the giant cat by the window! And I was chilling with the Klumps on the dinner table! But I didn't meet them. Bummer! 'Cause I was on stage and they were in the movie! Gareth was a small Egyptian, building things! He was his size but he looked smallllllll on the screen while he was building!
Hmmmmmmpf! And now? Rain! WTH??!!! I shoulda just kept both my thumbs SHUT! And because of this little sarcastic elemental show? Thank you, OL! No, that's not gratitude! Ozone and Turbo? FORGET it! 'Cause it IS sarcasm. This is a sarcastic storm, if ever I saw one! It IS, isn't it??? Yeah see, you're nodding! You see it too. OMG! O_O listen to the thunder! Uuuuuurgh! And lightning!
Guess, 2013 is coming in with a BANNNNNNG! Wherever you find yourself tonight? Be safe! Be sober! And be-be-uhhhhh-beeeeee.....?? Urgh, can't think of another s-word!
Most of all, be careful! Happy New Year, everyone! See you next year! ^_^!
Sent via my BlackBerry from Vodacom - let your email find you!
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