The Cerealness of it All

All I'm saying is?  They had no right to do whatever they did with the Nestle' High Fibre Honey and Almond Cereal!  I don't know what they did?  Or how they did what I don't know they did?!?  But yesterday (Its day two), I was on a mission!  Mission "Why Has This Cereal Disappeared Off The Shelves!"  or for short, Mission WHTCDOTS.  Rolls off the tongue quite nicely. 

I was all revved up yesterday!  Wore my mission clothes and everything.  Although, the peace sign on my t-shirt?  I see how that could cause one to believe that my aim is conflicted......

.........O_o!  That’s it.  Just letting you know that I see how that could happen.  So?!?!?!?!?  Who's with mehhh?!!?! 

I can hear myself chewing a wine gum.  That’s not the response I was hoping for.  Think I’ll wait.  Some people need to locate their voice first.  Like Alexis yesterday.  Gorgeous new little niece of mine.  One of four actually!  When we breed, we breed!  She was tryna cry and doing that “I’m gonna distort my open mouth in as many different directions as I can, without hands, until I find my voice!  Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!  Shew, finally!” 

My wine gum is finished and still.....Just......Me?  Guess to you, U.N.I.T.Y was just a 90’s track from Queen Latifah, huh?  Sigh....okay.  Okay.  Well?   Somebody's gonna start talking today!  I've got cornrows!  And I'm not afraid to use'm!  Meanwhile, I emailed what turned out to be this digital distributor of fast moving goods, LOL!  Or something, and after explaining that they were not Nestle’?  They wished me luck on finding my cereal.  That’s what happens when you say, “Who’s with me?”  And all you hear are what used to be winegums.  I’ve since found the correct site annnnd way to email Nestle’, on my own.  Thank you very much!  So far?  I have a response from something with no heart.  Yep!  The automated response and I are one step closer to a budding friendship. 

Lemme tell you something.  I didn't say this in the email by the way.  Something about a peace sign on my breasts?!?  Like I think harsh and all but then I act all peacified.  I was seriously born in the wrong era!  That's almost what Geese told me when I sent him a picture of my cornrows with the word, GANGSTA, attached to it!  He was like, “Til you see a mouse and you’ll be squealing and running!”  hahahahahahahahha!  The man knows me, what can I say!  

A-HEM! 

Lemme tell you something!  Person from Nestle' who signed off on the mysterious disappearance of my green box of joy!   This cereal gave me faith in breakfast.  I kid you not!  I couldn't wait to get to work because I knew...I knewwwww that I had that "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah" heaven in a box waiting for me!  Now?  Now, all I have is a...a computer.  Computers hardly taste as nice as honey and almond high fibre cereal!  I kid you not....again!  I'm not kidding a lot today because its day two of my mission!  The little that I do remember of James Bond?  He was no stand-up comedian.  It's this hairstyle!  Cornrows even make your jaw clench!  When you're NOT mad!  I kid you not!  >_< 

I mean?  AlrighT.  They miggggggght be protecting me in some way.  Mayyyyyyybe just maybe, they found something not so cool in the cereal.  Where if you continued eating it, you could grow a third arm or something?  I understand that.  But even if they found sommmmmmme god forsaken reason why they had to secretly remove it the shelves?  At least tell a person, you know?  'Cause I asked the guy in the grocery store and he told me, "The supplier is out of stock."  With a straight face!  He told me with a straight face.  They weren't out of stock with a straight face.  Look?  Lies I hate!  Straight-faced lies?  I love even less!  That was two or three months ago already.  What happened?  Almonds became extinct?  Or was it that the bees immigrated because Zuma might be re-elected for a second term?  I'm right there with you Maya!  And yes!  Yes I am grasping at straws here because I'm not the one who left this to my imagination!  You know by now that my imagination needs constant guidance and supervision.

In a moment of weakness, my little heart fluttered with hope and then was like, "Enough with the fluttering?  I need a reason to ‘Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah’"  Not that I don't already have one?  But he's a human!  And that's a different kinda "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"  If I couldn't have my reason?  I at least had my cereal!  But now?  I have neither!  So now, there's like a big black hole that even my kids can't fill!  See 'cause I have sections.  Kids section.  Full!  Cereal section........ Reason section....... Music section.  Full!  You see those dots?  The ocean and Nestle' are to blame for those!     

I have my suspicions.  It's.  It's 'cause I'm Coloured, huh?!?  Hmmmmmmpf!  Ay?!  I don't see the other race's cereals doing disappearing acts in grocery stores!  What a sad state of affairs it is when you see cereal apartheid unfold before your very eyes?!  Sad.  Eyes, I might add.  Maltabella is still up there, isn't it?!  Special K is still up there!  Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh?  What cereals do the Indians like again?  Rice Crispies??? Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh lighten up!  I'm kidding this time................................... 

It's Choco Pops, huh?!