Hands up!!!!!!!!!!! Those of you, who will be stone-cold broke by the first week in January and then looking for random items purchased by you or for you…(some might have been last years' unused gifts)….to return just to tide you over until the next payday!! Come onnnnnn. Don't be shy! We can't see you! You might very well be the family greyhound reading this blog, barking, "Woof, woof, woof!" Meaning,"Me, Me, Me!" In human language and we would be none the wiser!
But???? Never fear! The Rambler's near! And she's armed with a tip that will make those dark and dismal January days brighten right on up! Grab a pen or a dictaphone if you're having one of those lazy days. We all keep one of those on our bedside table, don't we?
When you get paid for December, right? You listening? Okay………take some of that money. Fold it up and stick it in the pocket of a jacket that you haven't worn in nine years, yet still it hangs in your closet! Yep! That was sarcasm. And it was directed at both you and myself! It doesn't havvvve to be nine years. Just? Old! An old jacket or shirt that you know you're not gonna reach for once you're intoxicated with the happy juice. There's a point to that too!
We all know that this season causes us to do things we wouldn't ordinarily do on sayyyyyy, the 19th of May! And when I say, this season? I specifically, mean, New Years Eve! For me? It makes me hug strangers at a ball! But?! IIIII don't wanna read a headline stating, "Breaking newssssss...last night? Two seconds before 2013?! It rained another kinda M! Money!" Because you decided that alcohol, backflips off the diningroom table and your January money jacket are a good mix! During the New Years Eve countdown. Uh-uhhhhhh! I, for one, do not see that ending well! So to make myself clear? The January money jacket is totally off limits, okay?!? Don't look at it! Don't touch it! Don't sniff it! Do not wear it!
So then? Come the 2nd of January? You're tired. You're sunburned. You have nohhhhh idea why you're wearing hot pink hot shorts and have a tattoo of the Mona Lisa on your right cheek! But?!??! That's as far as your problems will go. And why? Because when I rambled responsibly today? You followed my advice! And then hangoverly mumbled to yourself, "And what good advice that was!"
So there! Ho-Ho-Ho and eggnog and all!!!!!!! Woof-woof-woof (the greyhound remember?). That is my gift to you this Christmas. The gift of a look less painful. You know? My eyes are twinkling right now. It could be exhaustion since I've blinked about fifty-eight times during the last half-a-minute but I'm gonna go with pride instead 'cause I've always...always thought that I would one day find a way to help numerous people, in one go, to avoid looking constipated for three weeks straight in January! And now I have and it feels great!!!!!!
So you see? That's what it's all about at Christmas time! Giving! My absolute favourite time of year! Aside from my annual visit to Philadelphia to spend time with…Geese, which? By the way…didn't... happen this year! Sniff. I'm all...smiles, yep! Happy. Like this see? :_) Sniff...yesssss...Sniff is the new happy. Sniff. At least I was, until I reminded myself just now that it's been a year since I've seen him. Not as though I woke this morning and forgot. Sob! :_( No, that's....that's sadness. Noth-nothing happy about sob.
Suddenly I see a balloon darting from point to point as it descends from the ceiling to the floor and makes sure to land on the white tip of my Chuck Taylors, words up, "You've brought deflation upon yourself! Couldn't just stick to cheerful December thoughts, could you?" I'm not answering that question. I've been called alota things, fairly and unfairly. If I start talking to fallen balloons? That would just be an invitation for more name calling and if I'm the only one who sees it, then…ay talking to the tip of your shoe is none the better.
02 December 2012: Nnnnnnnnnnnnn-nnnnnnnnnnn......I "slept" and woke up! Yep! In that order! I had to take a break 'cause my post took a nose-dive into the pit of depression. Not exactly the direction I'd planned. But I'm now back to begin this blog post again. Second chances. Everybody deserves them.
A-hem! Straighten my skirrrrrrt. Shit! I'm wearing shorts. Nevermind, same difference! Pat my hair neat. Powder my nose. Allllllllright! Let's try this again.....
Welcome to December everybaaaaardy! As a show of united excitement? Sing with me! "Ohhhhhh say can you seeeeeee, by the daw...."
Ooooooooops! That's not a, uhmmmmmm-hmm? :-/ That's not a Christmas carol is it?!? O_o! No! I have this cough, okay? Uh-huh, a cough. It's a special cough that keeps me up at night and jumbles up the song categories in my head. Thank goodness I'm not a juke box! I'd be pink and pennyless by now!
Sent via my BlackBerry from Vodacom - let your email find you!
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