Is this what....dammmmmm! Hold on, hold on.....Gotta whoooooooooosh to get that washing off, this rain is relentless! Uuuuurgh.....
Okay, done. Annnnnnnnd it stopped raining as I walked back into the house! Ha! Ha! Rain. You got jokes huh?!
Is this what missing your daughter does to you? Turns you into the energiser bunny?
It's been an eventful week to say the least. Still doesn't feel as though I've been off work since Wednesday. Time has been very, very unkind. I've learnt something quite significant this week. You'd think that it'd be how to let go of my twenty year old daughter, right? Not. Not yet. This week has taught me that pride and admiration? These are better invested in someone for their compassion for a life, not for their achievements in life.
I've come across many different kinds of people in my days and often, like we all do I'm sure, have found myself looking up to those who have made it in their careers, have all that they've ever dreamed of, etc. Sure, those deserve admiration on some level but I can't anymore. That type of reverence I'm now hellbent on reserving. And if I don't smell, see or hear a sense of compassion, then I'm saving my reverence for someone who deserves it.
Afterall? What is more important on this earth than life? I can't be proud of anyone who has everything BUT compassion. It is through compassion that we display humanity and if one doesn't posses humanity, then this planet is definitely not a home for them.
I can't admire someone who HAS everything but thinks nothing of whistling through their day, knowing that their family's in darkness. Literally.
I won't respect anybody who turns vicious or vindictive towards a person that they'd once loved as a means to validate their own failures.
Not a bone in my body will feel pride, admiration, respect for someone who preaches love and compassion but downright refuses to practise it.
I'm done wasting these wonderful feelings on humans like this. Right now? I'm loving that I feel comfortable with choice. That I'm cool with deciding what I want to do or not do, where I want to or don't want to go, who and who not to keep in my circles. It used to be realllll hard to say no to any of that.
They say as you get older and ofcourse wiser, your circle shrinks, your perceptions alter, your outlook transforms. And that's what's been happening to me. Do I miss the people I've distanced myself from, you ask? Places I don't want to go or things I don't want to do? Yes, as much as I'd miss a thorn on the inside of my sneaker!
I heard this the other day. Someone mentioned something that Oprah had once said. "God drops pebbles on your head before he drops the brick." It was the Wendy Williams show, yes.
That tells me that no matter who we are, no matter what our situation? In retrospect, we were warned. We were warned well in advance that something just wasn't right or that it would end badly. Whether once, twice, thirty times. Our choice in ignoring those warnings is nobody's fault but our own. And that's inescapable. I've lived it, I've learnt it, I admit it and I now keep it in mind!
As I sit here, ya Rambler too, has to deal with retrospect. I'm 42 years old. I have a lot of retrospect following me around. But I am, who everyone else is. Not exempt from the ramifications of my own choices or lack thereof. Within my immediate surroundings, I'm faced with watching how thirty years can be turned into nothing but dust and disrespect due to lack of compassion.
Not everyone in this world is going to do the right thing for you, say the right thing to you, be the right person for you. And even if they have tried their utmost best to? You might have needed more. More than they could say, do or be for you.
Since the dawn of time, this has been how relationships end. That's how friendships end. I'll even go as far as saying, that's how careers end. Any type of union between yourself and someone or something, will end at some point, if one party feels that they are not being fulfilled by it. Period.
And yes, it's tough not to be angry at someone or something that you've invested love and time in only to find that you wake one day and its all become nul and void. But there again? Are you going to be mad at every single person in your past? Every single thing that you've ever done that didn't pan out? That's a lot of anger to carry around.
But the way of the world has often shown me that even then? Even when you've made a horrid choice in a person, a place, a career? Ultimately, you always have the choice to either leave or stay or do or don't. And if you make the wrong choice, that's okay but it's your choice nevertheless. Life is full of wrong choices. Someone is making a wrong choice right now. Tomorrow, a wrong choice will be made, yet again.
But don't let it lead to a life of anger, hatred, blame, revenge and despair. You're here. You have two legs, two arms, a heart that beats, nostrils to breath through and a mouth to eat with. It's okay to make mistakes. But that doesn't mean that that's the end for you. It doesn't mean that that mistake is what defines your tomorrows.
But your tomorrow and what you make of it will depend on you taking ownership of your mistake, receive it's teaching and doing better moving forward.
Sent via my BlackBerry from Vodacom - let your email find you!
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