Emotional Vegetables

I'm looking for the first onion grower! That farmer has some answering to do! Aren't there enough things in this world that causes a person's floodgates to open?! I'm happily preparing to cook, whistle whistle whistle! With my music in my ears, right? I had no plans of crying. Being the organiser that I am? It upsets me when I cry by surprise. I-I won't ask myself why I'm surprised when I onion-cry. 'Cause who hasn't watched the Bold and the Beautiful?! I have always noticed, backkkkk then, when I tainted my brain with soap. Soaps! That when Brooke cried? Started crying in ONE eye only! There's only one explanation for that! Her other tear duct was blocked...initially! You'd imagine that will all of that money, she'd be able to buy a straight pin and just sort herself out?! Like. Buy the pin. Prick! Cry like the rest of the free world? Nope! She was more comfortable with ITDBD-Initial Tear Duct Blockage Disorder!

But?!? It made me think?! Don't run! OmG! Sprinting?!? Awwwwwwww come-onnnnn! Commmmmmme back????!!! I'm not that baddd?!? Good grief! And just for the record! If you're keeping one. Where in the world did that saying originate from, anyyyway?!? What kind of grief? Is good! Ant killing, maybe? Lemme try find out real quick! Uhhhh. One second. I need onions for this! I'm going to attempt to grieve, good! Join in? Let's unite like bills on payday! We can do like an average. Six of us hold an onion to our eyes. We can assess our individual results of the goodness of our grief! Yes! And?! Okay! You know what? This situation calls for a ratio! Not an average! Mr. Uhhm? Who was my maths teacher? Mrs? I can see her face. DammmMmmmmm! I'm old!

Nevermind. It'll come to me soon. Soon as I get to my mum tomorrow and look through my school reports! Back to what I was saying...Do you notice the imbalance around here? By here, I mean, earth! Not a farmer on EARTH considered growing a vegetable that makes you burst out into raucous laughter?!? That's not funny! Don't laugh, we're supposed to be grieving. Ay! I'm just saying. Why only things with the negative effects? Why?! The ozone layer is depleting by the second! Because of negative onions peels...And other...things...I'm not mentioning...because they are not the subject of today's blog.

With all of the technology available these days? Nobody can come up with a happy vegetable, huh? Look? Lemme tell you something! In the midst of creating heaven and earth, the Lord Jesus Christ found the time to make a bone in our body that's funny? But man!? I mean, mannnnnnn! NASA can't take samples of our funny bone, inject it into broccolli seeds? Shine a red, solar light on the soil in which they plant it? And invent a happolli!?? SMDH!

Imagine the positive change to mankind that would make? Parent's would be more delighted. Children would be less inclined to judge vegetables. Harshly. (Because each of us know that it's alllll brocolli's fault that they hate veggies!) But rather embrace it's influential mood enhancing behaviour. Must I think of everything? You say, "Yes! Yes! Think of everything!" But when I even mention the "th" word, you begin bolting like I'm that gun they use to start races with.

Uhm! Now Randyl would like some tea? When just yesterday, she told me she wouldn't tip me if I were her waitress.
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