Independent Women...Need Men

Happy Women’s Day Week to all of us that possess wombs!  In the spirit of this?  Maybe we can make an extra effort this week to find my aunt’s uterus.  Please?  It's ridiculously lost.  Still. 

And just so that we put to rest the age-old debate about who the superior gender is?   Let’s do a quick tally.  Is there a Men's Day?  Nope!   With a public holiday to match?  Nope!  ‘Nuf said!  Awwwwwwww, don’ look so sad....I’m sorry.  Didn't mean to rub your nose in it!  I did, but I didn’t mean for you to catch me pulling tongues at you!  Because we?  Have a public holiday and you don’t, naaaa-na-na-na-naaaa!  Poor puppies though, that pee indoors!  They say you must rub their noses in their pee and they'll never do it again!  Ofcourse they won’t!  Much like you and I?  Inhaling their own pee should never be on their list of things to repeat!  It's at that stage in their lives that they fully comprehend what human's mean when they’re pretending to be asleep at their feet, meanwhile they’re just closing their eyes and gathering information on our species! 

“It's a dog’s life!"  

My kids had that movie “Cat’s and Dog’s”, so I’m well-schooled far as undercover agent pets.  I'm sure in their little puppy agent minds, they're grumbling about, "Wonder how you'd like it if my mum took your toddler who just pee'd on the floor, and rubbed her nose in it!  I don't know what potty training is but you keep using it as an excuse for when she does the same thing I just did...yet you feel it’s somehow right to make me inhale my own pee?  For me?  It's just, he pee'd on the floor, damn dog?!  Henry?!?!?!?!  Dunno what the hell you brought this dog home for!  How do you know that I'm not being potty trained?  My mum doesn’t live here, I know, but I’m a dog and I have dog ears with dog hearing and she may be potty training me from far.....Just?  Quick to be rubbing my nose in my pee...wait ‘til I see you’re slipper unattended!"

Only 'cause I can sense the testosteronial glares I'm getting?   We'll just say, favoured then, not superior!  Tes-toster-onial...derived from the English words, testicles and onial.   You can clearly see now how that word came about, can't you?  Males are the onial ones with testicles.  With the two for one deal?  You also found out what onial means.  Heeeee-heeeee-heeeee!  Just for cheek sake?  I’ve right-clicked my mouse on it?  And added it to my computer’s dictionary.  ‘Cause.  I.  Can!   I’m basking in the sense of freedom that doing that just gave me. 

English words are normally derived from Latin words, but those two, I would say...because I am free to say and right click and add to dictionaries as I please?  Are the kids of Latin word offspring.  Latin word, grandchildren.  They're English with Latin genes.  That means they're Coloured words.  Just like me.  That's how I know.  Takes a Coloured to know a Coloured....W-word.  

Just as easy?  You can tell where the word “wombs” is derived from.  One womb, many wombs.  Who can guess?  There might be thirty two thousand hands raised right now but I can’t see you, so I’ll just go ahead and tell you!  Woman and bs.  I had to pluralise that word because as women?  We like a lot of things.  When we go shopping?  We like to buy an outfit.  An outfit is a shirt in plural.  It doesn’t immediately appear that way just looking at the word shirt, but it is.  Trust me.  Heh-heh-heh.  That’s just one basic example.  The only thing we don’t like in plural?  Are bills.  But you will see where the bs part of it comes in?  When you try to tell us that we have enough black pants to match that shirt.    

So, we are the favoured gender.  Okay?  As well we should be.  You guys had Adam to begin with.  We had...Eeeeeve!  Uhhhhm-M!  We deserve some sort of compensation for that.  But I think that the quicker we admit that we do need men?  The quicker we can stop having to take the trash out.  I mean?  The quicker we can begin co-existing and appreciating what we have to offer each other instead of infinitely fighting the equality battle.  

I truly do support and encourage being an independent woman?  But there’s something about having to take the trash down...shiT!  A-HEM!  I mean, there’s something about companionship of that special man that you can’t replace with your independence and vice versa.  Independence can’t even talk.  Your companion can!  Nothing wrong with being both independent and human.  The truth is that, we will never be equal because we are too different.  Our roles differ too much.  There will always be something that we can do, that they can't do better...works the very same way when you switch genders too.  It doesn’t meant that if you can change a tyre, you don’t need a man.  All that means is that you can change a tyre!  Congratulations.  It IS an achievement in my books.  Just like it doesn’t mean if he can give birth like Arnold Swarzenegger...he doesn’t need a woman.      

Is there a Women’s Day public holiday overseas as well?  Does anyone know?  Unless we only have it because someone in the government believes that we also deserve compensation because, well?  They’re our government.