Wendy was like? "They say! GET A ROOM? HE WAS HORNY? SO! HE GOT A ROOM! What now? What now? Or or or?!? Must he have sex with his clothes on????"
Look?! I'd totally understand the horridness if ye ol' Royal Red-head was running wild naked down the Vegas strip with the stars and stripes painted on his ass cheeks, screaming, "God do not save the Queen!" Then? I'd have to agree! TheN! Even, I'd wanna know why he didn't have the decency to brush his hair before he began his tyrade! But dammmmmmmmm!??? All of this fuss? Really?
The explanation I want?!? Is whether that lens was set up innnn the room or someone trained a monkey to hang by the skin of its teeth on a fat twig to get a good shot of the royalty of his goodies! Our monkeys are grey with aqua blue goodies. Come to think of it? I can't even remember a branch in Vegas. So was someone suspended in air? Have they now come up with a camera lens that can curve in its vision from ground level into the hotel rooms of naked princes?
And now that the picture has been taken and the reaction is GASP!!!! O_O! The prince has flesh!!! And he's not afraid to expose it! To his girlfriend? Or! His friend who's a girl who also just so happened to also be in a fleshy mood! In a room! In. A. Room! Peopolllle! Not like he decided, "Ohhhhh well?!? Since I'm thread-bear! Let me hang all of my glory out of the window in a drunken fit of Las Vegal exposure." You know? I mean?
It wasn't even as if he was in Vegas...okay, he WAS in Vegas doing azzzz! But? Everybody in Vegas gets naked. Hell! Everybody in the worrrrrrld! Gets naked. In the privacy of their rented rooms! In the privacy of any room in their home. To bath or air themselves out. Or do other things that he was obviously doing or else there wouldn't be a naked woman behind him, but?!?. But?! And my point is this? He was doing azzzzz allllllll adult human beings do on planet earth, right or wrong, at a certain point in a day, a week. Or like some unfortunate married people? Twice every twelfth month but still?! Now he has some "explaining to do"! Pffffffft!
"Gran (in a Royal English accent), I have come to explain myself. (Sits down and throws his face into his open sweat-covered quivering palms). Shame! Is me! I-I was in my room. I even paid for the room! Gran. And? My clothing? Do you know how hot it is in Vegas?! Ask-Ask the Rambler! She knows! (I'm in the outskirts with my pompoms yelling, YEAH!! I KNOWWWW, GRAN! HOTTER THAN A DESERT!). (Gran turns to the voice in the outskirts, SHUTUP UNKNOWN PERSON. It IS a desert!) My clothes fell off and...out of nowhere? A naked woman appeared. Ohhhhhhhhhhh, she was a vision, gran! A-hem! Sniff! And she hid behind me and I was so very afraid. That's why. Gran. Sniff. I used the hands that I was generously given. And I covered my...my...(Mumbles under his breath). My doodlenuts. I cupped them so well. Gran. Look at this picture! (Gran demonstrates the "hand over eyes" bbm emoticon). I cupped them so that you could see that I? I was shocked at her appearance! I said to myself, "OMFGOSH!! Where did she come from?" Shocked by that! That I did what any man would do, specifically Adam in the garden. Hid in shame! Woahhhhhh?!? Gran?!? Do you think? DO YOU THINK that was Eve?"
Ay, if he wants to make it interesting? He could come up with any kind of scenario that would be as unbelievable as this BREAKINNNNNNG NEWS we saw in our newspaper yesterday.
BREAKINNNNNNG NEWS! "That rotten prince had the nerve to get naked!" No! Rotten is the priority that this story is given over the real naked issues we have going on IN THE WORLD.
Sent via my BlackBerry from Vodacom - let your email find you!
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