Believe in Yourself

Wednesday night, I put up a Facebook status asking whomever happens to stumble across mine. And actually reads them? Without sneering. Or throwing up. Some of them have that effect on me. Not my own. Other peoples. So I'm rightfully assuming that some of mine do the same to them. Only fair, right? And I've heard, or read...somewhere...that Libra's are fair people. Unfortunately, by the amount of times I've heard my kids say, "But that's unfair?!" I'm not sure if someone was just pulling shit outa their thumb when writing up sign traits. Unless, they were talking about skin colour. (Shrug) Even worse. Then, it's a just load of bullshit.

"If you knew then what you know now? What would you do differently?"

Sitting here, looking at the irony of that very status. Eh! There truly are times that I marvel at life's whispers. For me, this status was something of a foreshadowing for me. Because like I said, I'm sitting here, Friday morning, knowing exactly...aargh! I'm not gonna bore you with that. For right now, though....

I'd gotten some responses where ofcourse, not all were the same. Some were content and would change nothing. Like Crystal and Ralph. Liars! I'm KIDDING! I'm kidddddddding! HAHAHAHHAHA! Drop the bricks. I prefer my skull...closed. And dry. Maybe they were just shy to say. Maybe they actually werrrrre THAT content. Which would make them one or two of the few people I know, that are! And that in itself, for me, is an admirable place to be at in your life.

Either way. Some wanted degrees. It's never too late, Maree. You're still young enough to achieve that! Three years will get you one. Six months if you pay the lecturer! A-HEM! Others? Like one of my daughter-nieces? I have lots of those. Even daughter-unrelated ones! Would change a lot. I don't blame you, my child. Mishy wasn't specific, though. Oh! And Donny? Donny woulda waited for the water to boil before he put the noodles in! Lol! That was funny. Can see he's American! No. No, really, you can. He looks South African Black or Coloured, but I can see he's not. Helps to be from here to know the difference. Not only is he gifted, musically? But he's always hungry. Go-figure. Go figure, what? I don't know, but it seemed like following with that was the right thing to do.

But that's as far as it went, because I de-activated my Facebook account yesterday morning. Why? Well? Plainly put? EVERY CHOICE BEARS A CONSEQUENCE. I was taught and I've seen it with my own eyes too. I would have have to have some kinda powers to see it through anybody else's. That even NOT choosing has a consequence. Now? When you're a chicken with a choice? Like I am? Even worse! I chose a big loss over a small one. Which is horrible. It's beyond horrible. It's shameful.

Hey! Enough with Rambler bashing. Oh, sorry. I'm the one bashing the Rambler. But look? A word of advice. If you take that little sentence with you wherever you go? The one in capital letters that makes it sound like I actually have some sense? It might help you to stop and think, before you do. Anything.

My only hope is that my blog readers from there, caught my message to come and visit me here, before I mysteriously disappeared off of their status feeds. Globally, ofcourse? That's wishful thinking on my part. It would be impossible but I'm keeping the faith that they were all logged on and paying attention for the five minutes that it woulda been up. Ha! As if I live in the magical kingdom of Terabithia. And if they weren't, which I'm trying to constantly deny, then I've just lost over a thousand readers. That was my highest post view on my page. Butttttt?!? Such is life, I guess. Sometimes, you win and sometimes, you lose.

As far as the status question, I put up? For me? It's simple. Going back to my childhood days, I'd have believed in myself a little more. The possibilities woulda been endless! When you finally have that sense of belief, what should have come naturally......comes naturally. You explore your talents. You're confident. It's easier to express yourself. Even when you fail it doesn't become a thing of planning your jump off of the nearest bridge. No. The blow to your self-esteem is much lighter.

There's no fear of being alone. With belief comes strength. And with strength comes courage. With courage...(I'll stop soon)...comes the unmistakable feeling that you are the navigator of your own life.

You're able to stop just, drifting through life. I've drifted for the most part. Just....such a lack of self-confidence. All I knew was that, this is the path that I chose and whether or not it fulfills me? It's all I'm gonna get. And then I'll die. And sppend all of eternity regretting the things I never got to do.

I guess for us all, the reasons differ. But at times, belief in yourself or lack thereof, comes from whomever it is that you let into your life. The ones that you were born in the midst of. And the ones that keep in your life. I haven't quite gotten there yet, but I'm in a much better place than I was before. I didn't get here on my own. Not by any means. All I'm trying to say is, it's never to late to live the life that you were meant to. All it takes is something, significant, good or bad, to happen in your life. Or someone, good or bad, to happen to your life. When you have a point at which to compare? You then realize how much you're missing out on or how much you have lost, without being your own cheerleader. Much like when you begin to believe in yourself and you're going through the motions, you, at some point, are able to look back and realize how far you've come.

As I said, I still have far to go, but I'm a long way from where I've been. So? There...looking at that question in a long-term sense? That's what I'd do differently.
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