Ofcourse, because I so often converse with myself. I answered my own question too. My mind, she's but a war zone, I telya! "No, ingrate. It's about the marriage!" At that point, there was a further unwelcomed influx of thoughts and visions and memories streaming mercilessly into my mind. Blinking them away, didn't help. Unfortunately.
I, myself---wait? Why do people say that? I, myself included! Isn't I, myself? Like, you? Yourself?
>_<! Sorry. Sidetracked as usual!
What I was starting to say is.....When I got engaged about three years ago, awwwwww it was the prettiest ring, dainty and charming. Prettiest, prettiest thing! Really was. But because quality is no longer what consumers are offered in exchange for their money, it broke and I had to post it back to be fixed under it's warranty and then the relationship ended? Talk about signs. I never saw it again. Now the crazy thing is that here in SA, I don't know about anywhere else, but the woman here don't buy the man a ring for their engagement. They buy the man a ring when it's time to exchange vows in holy matrimony. But it was a long-distance relationship so I decided that I'd buy one because well? He doesn't have me there but at least when he looks at his finger, I will be in some form.
Thaaaaaaaat? Didn't go as well as I'd hoped. Let's just say, I know what it feels like to have a ring that I bought, hated. He gladly accepted the ring and at first, he didn't say it out loud but there came a cringe-worthy moment where no words were necessary. I knew it the instant that I was sitting on his bed and he walked out of the room and back in to show me the wedding ring that his ex-wife had bought him. Ofcourse, I was hell embarrassed but I swallowed it, quietly while trying to pretend that it didn't hurt me. It did. I did that a lot. I still do that a lot. I've been doing that practically my whole life. Not a good habit to carry through life because when allll the things that you should have said in alllllll of the moments that you should have said them, are left unsaid?
Hold on a second......I gotta breath after that one.
Okay.
They sit inside of you and fester and without knowing it, it begins to negatively affect that relationship with whomever you're swallowing embarrassment or anger towards. Eventually, it begins to negatively affect the feelings that you have for that person. Too much resentment built up inside for all of the things they have said to you where you heard them and felt something but did or said nothing to let the EFFECT of them out where maybe if you expressed yourself, you might find that that person didn't really mean it the way that it came across or that they did and it was in the heat of the moment and they apologize and then it's over and you can release it. But, saying nothing? You will never know. All you will know and remember is how it made you feel and you will simply continue feeding the sore inside until it becomes untreatable.
I will admit, it was a boss ring too. I see why none that followed would ever compare. See? The time that I got married back in 1997? Unless you were extremely wealthy? That's what the men wore. A plain, gold, wedding band. So that's what I bought. Plus we weren't getting married to begin with and I really wasn't meant to buy a ring for the occasion. But to me, it was fitting and as far as I knew, he wasn't the flashy type either. So I THOUGHT I did alright. NOT!
Lemme just-----lemme just take a minute to ask myself something.
ME: "You know what thought did?"
ME: "What?"
ME: "He planted a feather and thought a chicken would grow."
ME: "HMMMMMPF!"
I'm feeling this invisible man's pain right now 'cause eventually, when things turned real bad, he did say it. So I know what it's like to have the ring that I bought referenced as "the piece of shit ring you bought."
I was at a baby shower on the weekend. Yes, we did just go from rings to baby showers. Be patient. Madness always has a method. Well? Seeing as it hadn't yet started-----------four or five hours---------- after it was meant to and we up and left? I'd say, I was allllllllmost at a babyshower this weekend. Just as a sidenote? I think that's pretty disrespectful of someone else's time. I coulda been curled up on my couch. That's how I like to spend my Saturdays. Doing the bare minimum and most times, I get it right. I don't particularly jump at opportunities to leave my house. This starting a hundred hours late seems to be the order of the day with functions in recent times and it's unacceptable.
Not too long ago and by that I mean, ten years or so, baby showers and kitchen tea parties used to be all of the ladies sitting huddled in the living room of the host's house while the mum-to-be sits on a comfy pillow in the middle and tries to guess who bought what. Occasionally, when she was wrong, she would get slimed with an unsavoury flour mixture and cracked eggs. I, myself? LOL! I don't like all that messy crap but it's all in the fun. Just not when it's time to shower.
Imagine if you will, that scene from Something About Mary--------but with ya hair standing stiff in all directions because of a flour and water mix! Attempting to wash dried flour mixture outa your hair when you're that pregnant is far from fun but eventually. It comes out. :-/ These simple, less sophisticated parties were the best.
These days? It's all about gardens and halls and decor and candy corners and outfits. Women today are just too deep into that high-rolling, flashy, materialistic crap. Look, I don't blame a woman for needing to know that there will be a measure of financial stability in her future but the deal breaker can't be the calibre of car or the size of the mansion or the amount of zero's in his bank balance. A steady job still pays the bills. It shouldn't be where if you can't be kept then he's not good enough. There's nothing wrong with you being part of a working couple. He works. She works. No woman's ever died from having to go out and work to help support the household and her habits.
This shit about I want a man who can dress me and feed me and wine me and dine me and pay my way through life while I sit on my ass and look pretty, is bullshit! And you will see just how rotten a plan that was when that man decides to up and chuck with all of his money and you're left staring at ya newly manicured nails with no experience out in the workplace.
I'd assume that someone who laughs at the ring that her man bought to propose to her with, would be one of these types of "keeping up with the jones'" woman. I hope that he took his ring back along with his proposal because if the size or the type of ring is what has her questioning her future with him then she doesn't deserve that husband. Before you look to a man to support you, you better make sure that you can support yourself without one! That's just the reality and it works both ways too.
We're far from perfect, us woman and men. I'll be the first to admit that. But this crap? Maybe I took such offence to the way that this woman tore her man down because I just never really was one for gold and diamonds, I don't know. My weakness is clothes and sneakers and even those have to be something that I can afford to by my damn self by way of cash, NOT credit!
But lemme tell you something? If I had a man whom I believed TRULY loved me? I'd proudly accept his proposal with a twisted fuckin wire around my finger. And I know, I know there are still plenty of women out there who would do the same.
It's not about the ring.
Sent via my BlackBerry from Vodacom - let your email find you!
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