Friday 20 July 2012

And the Award Goes To……?


Gone are the days!  When you did the time for doing the crime!  Nowadays?  All you need to do is have a stern talk with your kidneys?  And VIOLA!  Early release from fifteen years in prison!  The agreement though has to be that they pretend to be failing jusssssssst in enough time to get you out of the mess you put yourself in!

But, wait?!  I hear shuffling.  Sensing that clarity is vital here.  This does not apply if you’re just the man on the stree-eet!  Sing it!  Believe me!  Even your kidneys will wave the back of their hand to you like, “Pfffffft!  Person, please!”  They won’t even respect you enough to call you, owner or something endearing.  Just to prove that?  Six of them were meant to be released because they were too ill to remain in prison?  Three of those six have since died.  See?  No loyalty of the organs!

Now?  To avoid getting your feelings hurt by your own body parts?  Before you go lecturing your organs in vain?  First, look around.  You can make a checklist if you like.  Well more like a compare list!  Once you’ve successfully compared the man on the street to the big shot powers that be and duly noted that you were on the losing team?  Last but not least?  Double check the depth of your pockets.  If they’re empty, then unfortunately, you’re officially part of the street gang that cannot simply consult your inner self to assist you in overturning justice! 

I’ll give you a minute to inhale that.  Meditate for a second if you must.  Hummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!!!!!!!!!  Breath deeeeeeeeeply as you take step after small step to join the rest of us on the barren side of option land!  You know things are bad when you can’t even turn to yourself for help. 

But?!?!  Other’s can.  As they are found out and caught and arrested in a dramatic episode of Days of our Crimes!  The barreners?  That’s us by the way.  Cheer in victory.  For 13.333333 infinity percent of their sentence.  That’s what corruption-convicted former police commissioner Jackie Selebi will have served as he walks out of prison today.  Two out of fifteen years.  That’s just wrong.  I don't care if he looks like Morgan Freeman.  I mean?  Even in school your teacher would yell at you for getting two out of fifteen! 

I saw Debbie’s facebook status earlier so I thought?  Hmmmmmmm?  Lemme go see what is going on so I can tell the six people in Germany and Russia that have been reading my blog, what her and half the nation is so angry about.  I will attach the link?  Go and jump on my own head nine times?  And then?  Go ask my boss if I can go home early to get some “palliative care”.  Wish me luck!

O_0

Sbu Ndebele is Minister of Correctional Services now?!!!!  He was?  Just. Minister of Trans…sigh…you know what?  Never-

Nevermind. 

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