Is that a Trick Question?

You know what I asked myself today?  Aside from whose thumbs are using my purpleberry?  “Where do you see yourself in five years, Stacey?”  Since I wasn't at a job interview, forced to hide my contempt for that very question?  Since there was no grin-bare-and-have-to-answer policy that had to be adhered to either?  I did what any normal, right-minded person would do!  Ignored it!

Have you ever tried to shut your ears off to the voice inside your head?  When that voice is as loud as when three members of your family are just, sitting and “chatting”!  (There’s a 70/30 chance that the police could be called at that point).  I’m not sure if your family is as loud as mine?  Actually, I’m not sure if any family is as loud as mine?  But if you’re fortunate enough to be a part of one of those?  You will know that ignoring sounds of that altitude and level is close to impossible.        

But?  I wanted an answer to that question, and since I was point blank refusing to give myself one, I had to get firm and insist, "Must you be so willfully ignorant?"  My sarcastic bone was instantly awoken!  O_O!  "Must YOU?"  I gave myself a quick thumbs-up for that clever retort which only spurred me on to go all-out to win the argument.  "It's a simple question!  Is there seriously a need for attitude?"  And with a roll of my eyes.  To the left.  As I typed this?  I just tried to roll my eyes to the right, and…?  Is it me or does everything instinctively roll their eyes to the left.  Something felt odd just now when I tried it the opposite way.  A-hem!  Sorry, I fell off the wagon there for a minute.  Annnnd now?  Thanks!  Thanks for the help getting back on it…I sincerely wish you were there when I flew off the trampoline.  I coulda used some help then too!  Anyway.  Painful memories aside, I responded, "Why don't YOU answer the question then, if YOU wanna be all future-fied!" 

Shhhhhhhhh, don’t tell me!  But I thought I'd use trickery to get myself to open up.  HA!  You just have to know how to manipulate yourself!  Which is easy because nobody knows you as well as you know yourself!

Turns out that trickery works very well on me.  We had a nice, quiet, chat about the fact that you can tell yourself, 'til you're blue in the face, “I see myself as an astronaut in five years!”  It doesn't mean that it's going to happen.  Yesterday, I saw myself still owning my phone today and look how that turned out!   >_<  I'm still trying to figure out whether I was being sarcastic, again, with my astronaut answer but what matters is this?  I was no longer being stubborn and refusing to participate in the conversation. 

And at the end of it all, we both agreed on a common, possible, attainable goal!  It wasn’t being the richest woman on the planet.  It wasn’t being an author of ten best sellers.  Neither was it being married and living in that white picket-fenced-two-story home.  The list goes on.  Brace yourself!  It wasn’t being the CEO of an advertising company.  ‘Specially when you don’t know a thing about advertising!  Except for the lies you’re paying to watch on TV.  Let’s be real for a minute?  Whose stove gets that dirty?  Like, do the advert pots on advert stoves just…melt away with the heat and then they have to end up cooking directly on the stove?  Utube it!  If you think I’m exaggerating!  I agree, Handy Andy is a good product.  But there is no need to resort to such extremes.  As a cooking individual?  I will tell you now that I would believe you just the same if you wiped up little splashes of curry gravy!

Did I honestly say, astronaut?  I don’t even like astronauty things?  Sarcasm, I telya!  You just blurt out the first thing that comes to your fingertips!  You know when you lay on your bed and cover yourself from head to toe?  And you just lay there.  You can still hear that buzzing sound of the mosquito that won’t stop harassing you?  But you won’t uncover yourself because the minute you do, it’s gonna head straight for your outer earlobe?  Seeing as you’d much rather sweat and deprive yourself of oxygen than walk around the next day with one red, lumpy earlobe?  You keep laying there.  Choosing suffocation over a mosquito bite.  That’s how having those helmets on for long periods of time must feel. 

That’s why I decided against becoming an astronaut and chose administrative work instead.  Yep!  It was as conscious a decision as the time I left the shopping trolley behind my car and then promptly reversed into it.  And by conscious, I mean…I was awake.  Nothing more.  Nothing less. 

"In five years?  I’m going to be happy!"