The Circus Ring...Leader

So now?! The current state of education in South Africa is all Verwoerd's fault? Did our president seriously go on a live radio interview and say that? Did he seriously go on a live radio show, to begin with? HAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Wowwwww! Every. Single! Time I think my disgust levels have reached their peak? I'm always so pleasantly surprised to find that I have jussssst a little bit more disgust left to feel!

But, yes! Yesssss! It's alllllll his fault that the textbooks haven't been delivered to the Limpopo schools and we've already reached August! Cough! Of a school year that began in January! Choke! The bastard! &^%$#@$%&% How dare he make sure! Uhhhhhhhhhh? Back in (swallow hard)...in 1966?!!!! That in 2012?! These Limpopo kids would be textbook-less by August.

No matter how softly, slowly, back-to-front, I read what I just wrote? It still sounds ridiculously, RIDICULOUS!!! Good Lord?!? It's times like these that I'm forced to ask myself, "What has brought on my sinus?"

And what pray tell, did Dick King cause? I'm frothing at the mouth with curiosity! I know! I know! The state of healthcare, yeahhhhhhhh! That makes anyone froth at the mouth! Or maybe? Just maybe the state of law enforcement! It's that horse! The one he's still riding on the Esplanade. That's why if you call your local police station? If you're not calling them, after you're dead? Then they never have transport! But see? If they had that horse of his...............?

Well now. What choice do I have? I guess it's time for me to come clean. My weight issues?!? Are because my great, great, great, GREAT, grandmother included too little cauliflower in her diet. In 1849! I've been shouldering the blame all of this time in an attempt to be noble and fair but?! I just don't see why I should keep...? I mean? If only she didn't eat so much carbohydrates! If only she'd balanced her diet plan with more vegetables. I would not be saddled with love handles today. And thick thighs! None of the aforementioned (hahahahaha aforementioned! Whoooooo!) flaws having anything to do with my own lack of both, discipline and healthy eating habits! Oh NOOOOOOOH!

It has nothing to do with the fact that I cannot stay away from chocolate. (Some of us like chocolate and some of us like weddings) Even less has it to do with my own lack of exercise! And in forty six years? When I've done nothing to rectify her bad eating habits? It'll still be her fault. I don't even know her name, but that's okay. As long as I just sit here. In my love handles and thick thighs? And do nothing to fight against these parts of me that torment and mock me daily? I'll believe in my total right to be absolved if I just keep saying, "My non-cauliflower eating granny did it!!"

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