Anything...

Do you have a routine that's driving you batty? Yeah? Me too, but lucky for me, tonight I don't have to cook. I found two rocks that I'm serving for dinner. Ay, don't gimme that look, that's what happens when you ask "What must I cook for supper?" And they say "Anything!" Do they know how draining it is thinking about something different to cook, evvvvvery night, then varied lunches, evvvvvery morning and then you reach out for some input from those you sacrificed your perky breasts for just so that they didn't starve, and then what do you get? "Anything!"
The part of your brain that doesn't work after five, tells you? "Awwwwww, look how fortunate I am? What easy-going children I've been blessed with!" You then start thinking of the easiest and quickest thing to cook so that you're not running wild 'til midnight. Like an idiot you begin suggesting dishes. That's when reality strikes 'cause they hit you with, "Uh-uh!" So then you try again and you get, "Not that!"
By now you're more confused than you were before you asked for their help. Your voice raises to that level of aggravation, not yet anger, and you ask, "then WHAT?" And once more, you're faced with the infamous "Anything!" Third time lucky and it's all you need to step into the anger zone which ofcourse wakes the witty bone! "Well the store was out of ingredients for, ANYTHING!" Refrigerator and grocery cupboard doors start swinging open, as you're on the verge of breaking down with, "Jusss choooose somethinnnng!" You even try to back it up with, "Be fair, I've had to think of what to cook for you for 99% of all the days that you exist, which means I've been doing this for...?" Your eyes begin shifting and scanning the room for something with buttons and a screen! "Dammit?" Your Blackberry's too far and your maths skills are abit rusty, so you turn to the youngest one and say, "For! For? You're in school! What's 365 times 16?" From nervousness, he screams out 632 and looks at you crazy when you order him to go study his 365-times table. As you inch closer to the lounge, you hear them asking each other who they should call first or whether they should just make a run for it!
Allllll because of a routine, that's boring the hell outa you! These kinds of outbursts are normal for when your daily routine begins to grate on your last nerve. What makes things worst is that the self-helps suggest switching things around to make life exciting as though you actually CAN drop your kids off at school in the evening. What they omit to cover is how exciting it will be when both the Department of Child Welfare and Education are knocking at your door and you have to Ramble Responsibly about how Dr. Crazy Cookoo's book said for you to switch things around, and that something that you read in it made you believe that switching THAT particular thing would make complete sense? Not cool, huh? So what do you do? Stick to the same ol' same ol' safe, routine! And now? LMGTM!
Ohhhh come now, you're so behind time, that's text language for, Let. Me. Get. To. Mine! Haaaaaahahaahahaha, and no, I'm not laughing at my own joke, my vanity has limits! That just reminded me of when my sister was trying to learn all these text abbreviations. Her, myself and a few cousins were emailing each other back and forth, where the "text savvy" ones were trying to teach the "stuck in the ice-age" ones what the text abbreviations meant? Firstly, let's lay some ground work here. My sister? Is brilliant at her job, but jokes? She should go to joke jail. She's a joke murderer! You know how once you have to pull a joke so far apart, it dies a slow and painful death? This is what we're dealing with! But out of that whole exchange, she latched onto ROTFLMAO! So ever since then? If you happen to get a reply from her on bbm? Be sure that ROTFLMAO will be in one of her responses. Even if she is tightlipped, and nowhere near a floor! You could be like, "Howzit! (That's South African slang for hello, how are you?) This storm ripped my entire roof off!" You may very well get a response that reads, "ROTFLMAO!"
"I broke my leg in three places today."
"ROTFLMAO!" At that point you just sigh and say...goodnight!
Sent via my BlackBerry from Vodacom - let your email find you!